You Should Stop Going After That Bad Boy
"Why do I always fall for the bad boy?" You have heard that question a lot of times already—from your sister, your friend, your friend's friend, someone from your school, or even from your very own lips. You've even seen this happen in a lot of movies, TV shows, and even books that sometimes, you can't help but ask yourself if the saying "good guys finish last" is true. We tend to keep choosing the bad boy, the destructive one who always keeps us on our toes. But why does this even happen? Here's a list that may help you.
1 His false humility.
We love humble people, those who don't know how great they are and how much they make our hearts stop beating the moment we see them. When a person we're attracted to says they're not that good at something, we tend to make up reasons in our heads to make them feel better and make ourselves feel better—that there's really something in him that's good and that we're not mistaken. Sometimes, that kind of thinking is good because we really can't have a good grasp of the person upon meeting them for a few times. But most of the time, we're wrong and usually there's just nothing in there but the false picture of that guy which we've made up in our heads.
2 You want to be the game-changer.
People—mostly, girls—tend to have this mentality that we're saviors. We believe that we can cause the other person to change if only we put in enough effort to help him change positively. This is not only a little wrong, but it can also be dangerous especially if you're in an abusive relationship. Remember that you can't make a person change who and what he is for you. It has to come from him alone. The decision to change and be a better person entirely rests on him.
3 The spontaneity and unpredictability is attractive.
There is something attractive about unpredictability. It's a promise that no moment is boring and all them are just fun. While this can be great once in a while because we need to break the ice, too, it can also be tiring. A bad boy's unpredictability doesn't only affect his view of being adventurous, but also the way he sees relationships. Does he tend to approach girls a lot or even takes you out on dangerous dates after curfew just because he's bored? Maybe it's time to press the pause button for a while and rethink about the status of your relationship.
4 A part of us loves the chase and the game.
This would be related to his being unpredictable. There is a part of us that loves getting challenges and solving puzzles and mysteries. That's good because we can practice patience, but the question you should ask yourself is how long you're going to keep understanding his actions and his words? You don't deserve the kind of relationship that exhausts you and drains you emotionally, girl.
5 He knows how to win us over and over again.
Are your fights becoming a cycle? Are you starting to hate the fact that he always knows what to say and do just to win you back, but then it comes bouncing back again to what a douche he is? Sometimes we just want to hear the right words and receive the gestures we truly deserve. But that happiness is only temporary unless the cause of your fighs disappear. If it's becoming a cycle already and if you fight because of the same reason over and over again, leave. Once you say sorry or apologize, you should never repeat what you've done again. If he doesn't get that simple concept, maybe he really isn't ready for a relationship yet.
Bad boys may seem fun and may hold so many promises of adventure, Candy Girls. But when the unpredictability and surprises happen every single time you're together, it gets tiring. It will drain you emotionally and the next thing you know, you've settled for the bad boy because you've gotten so used to it.
Don't wait for that time. Know when you should leave and when you're supposed to stay. Know what you deserve and that you deserve nothing but the best. Know that you don't need to suffer and make extreme sacrifices just to prove you're in love with someone. You deserve the kind of love that lifts you up, that calms you down, that brings you peace. You deserve the kind of love that's good and good for you.
Got boy troubles you want us to discuss? Let us know in the comments or talk to us via Twitter @candymagdotcom. :)