12 Male Fail Moments
compiled by Gaby Alegre and Mari Colinares * illustration by Nicole Lim
- Run like the wind
I was running on the gym treadmill next to a muscular guy who kept checking my speedometer. Every time I increased my speed, he’d increase his too. It was a silent competition... until he lost his footing! I laughed out loud at the sight of him clinging onto the machine, struggling to get back up. —Katlog, 19 - Sales boy
My barkada spied a group of girls looking at the latest PlayStation. After much prodding, I approached them to talk about the awesomeness of PlayStation. I wanted to invite them to the arcade to get to know them better, but then a girl said, "Kuya, you're so magaling mag-sales talk! How much is this?" My barkada caused a ruckus behind me. —Mario, 19 - Peek-a-bora
My girl friends and I went to Boracay after our high school graduation. We met a group of guys who wanted to chill with us. While we were island hopping, one of the guys lounged at the side of the boat, flexing his muscles and winking at us. My friend nudged me and pointed at something. I turned to look, and lo and behold! I discovered he wasn't wearing anything underneath his swimming shorts. Eew! —Kim, 17 - Early bird exorcism
We were required to exercise every morning after the flag ceremony. One day, my overly confident crush was asked to lead the exercises. He looked possessed as he showed off weird karate moves and yoga poses. For the grand finale, his pants split in two! The whole assembly cracked up and he ended up borrowing a pair of used jogging pants from a girl. —Kristin, 19 - Hang loose
A guy was trying to impress me by carrying the props we used for a skit. Everyone likes a gentleman, right? Just not one who exposes his flowery boxers and butt crack while grabbing stuff from the floor! —Elena, 19 - What goes around
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with a girl he considered a trophy girlfriend. He'd flaunt her at parties and fairs, and I'd feel completely miserable. Imagine my joy when I found out she dumped him because he didn't pass the Ateneo College Entrance Test! —Sarah, 15 - Last resort
Summer was fast approaching and our class started discussing where we’d have our annual out-of-town trip. Everyone got excited when my crush offered her house in Australia. Thinking she was pulling our leg, I said, "Really? We have a resort there!" She turned to me and asked which one. I turned beet red and mumbled that it was just a joke. Apparently, she did have a house there! —Liam, 18 - Falling for you
I had the biggest crush on a boy in my English class. We were group mates for an activity, and he volunteered to present the report. I offered to do it with him, but he said loudly, "No, it's okay. Kaya ko 'yan! Ako pa!" Brimming with seld-assurance, he walked up to the blackboard… and accidentally tripped on someone's foot! He fell flat on his face in front of the whole class and lost all his confidence! —Ana, 18 - Fab footballer
My guy friend asked if I wanted to watch his soccer game. Before the game started, we hung out by the bleachers. I asked him to show me how to kick a ball. We went to the goal area and he told me to act as goalkeeper. He assured me I wouldn't get hit because he had great aim. As I stood there at the goal, he came running towards the ball and fell flat on his butt as he kicked it. Poor guy! —Gina, 17 - Memory malfunction
My brother was reading a book on how to enhance one’s memory for a debate he joined. He was being obnoxious, reading out loud, and announcing he could memorize so much in so little time. Finally, he left and went up to his room. A few minutes later, he came back, hands on his head, and said, "Did you see my book?" He sure did enhance his memory! —Danisa, 14 - Driving range
I agreed to go out on a date with a guy who lived in the same village as I did. We were about to get the car keys when his yaya scolded him and said he wasn't allowed to drive the car. In the car, he talked about going to Tagaytay. We never made it out of the village though. He panicked as we were driving out of the gate and the car started shaking uncontrollably. I stepped out and walked back home. —MM, 17 - Steak slip-up
I decided to take my guy to a family dinner. He showed up squeaky clean—sporting a new 'do and dressed to the nines! It was a formal affair, and he impressed me by knowing which utensils to use. I was smiling at him—when the slab of steak he was slicing flew off his plate! Worse, my dad was watching us the whole time. —Sam, 17
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