Why are guys and girls always at odds? We've come up with a list (and graciously allowed the boys to defend themselves) to finally figure out this big mystery.
Five things girls hate about boys:
- YOU'RE INSENSITIVE. We're bawling our eyes out because our dog chewed up our trigonometry homework (it happens!), we've got a huge zit on our nose, and we spotted our crush holding hands with some girl in the mall yesterday! When you come along and spot us all teary-eyed, you do one of the two: a) bolt out of there like you're training for the Olympics, and you're late for practice; or b) ask "Hey, why is your face all red? You allergic to something? Oh, you've got a pimple on your nose!" And then, you laugh your head off.
Guys: We are not intentionally insensitive. We do it because there are times when we're not sure what we're supposed to say. After all, we're not, repeat, NOT mind readers. Tears make us uncomfortable and unsure of ourselves, so rather than say something really dumb, we stick to the things we do best: a) avoid trouble, or b) try to elicit a laugh. Granted, those two approaches have a track record like Scary Spice's solo career, but it's programmed into our systems, so unless we learn a new way of doing things, our skins remain iron-like.
- YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN GIRLS. At math, sports, driving, video games, and basically just about everything. When you see someone having difficulty parking a car, you say in disbelief; "A guy wouldn't be that stupid!" Then, the dawning of enlightenment shines upon you as you catch the driver's feminine features, "Oh, it's a girl." It's as if we're allowed to make mistakes because we're of the inferior gender. And when we demand to know why you think this way, you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Because it's true.' Oh, help!
Guys: Well, it is true! Just kidding! There are a lot of thing girls do better than boys, like...well, you talk really well. But you have to admit, attitudes are changing. What girls couldn't do before, they're now doing better than most guys. Heck, I know Lisa Leslie could beat me in a game of basketball any time. It's just that doing everything guys do occasionally robs us of the chance to be the classic knights-in-shining-armor. What better excuse is there to make pa-cute to a girl than to ask if she needs help with her math, sports, driving, etc.? It makes us feel a bit better about our poor selves, so give us a break. Oh, and watch the road!
- YOU'RE IRRESPONSIBLE. Woe unto the girl who is paired with a boy on a major project! We know what you say when you pick group mates! "Let's work with a girl so we don't have to do anything!" So what happens to us when we're stuck with you guys? We turn into nags (and contrary to what you think, we hate that!): "Don't be late for the meeting!" "Stop fooling around, start, working!" and "Why aren't you doing your share of the work?"
Guys: This is one instance wherein we will freely admit that girls can do a better job than guys. Girls are much better at making presentations and things like that because you're more conscientious. Plus, teachers like it better when they know girls made their report. We'd rather have a job done right than do it ourselves and spoil the whole thing.
- YOU THINK YOU CAN CHARM YOUR WAY INTO OUR HOMEWORK (OR ANYTHING ELSE!). You're best at this: making pa-cute! With your heads leaning on our shoulders, the brightness of your smiles, all that bola on how we're the prettiest, smartest, and sweetest girls you've ever known. And all because you need our homework, the number of our best friend, or some money. And the sad part is, more often than not, you get away with it. Sigh.
Guys: And that's why we do it: because it works! Seriously, though, would anyone-girl or guy-want to be asked for something in a manner that is more sour than sweet? Besides, girls do this even better. How many times has a guy acquiesced to do a girl's homework or help her study for a test the next day, despite a personal schedule crammed with PS2 sessions and ESPN marathons? A few sweet words and a head leaning on our shoulder, and we're all yours. Don't upset the status quo!
- YOU THINK OGLING GIRLS IS YOUR GOD-GIVEN RIGHT. As much as you think you were created to help out us damsels in distress, you guys believe that in exchange for your strong arms and sharp wit, you are totally entitled to ogle girls as if we were toys on display. When you talk about a girl, it's all about her body. Maybe one percent will be about her personality, then you revert back to her short skirts and tight shirts.
Guys: Asking us not to look at girls in the aforementioned garb is like asking shoppers not to notice beautiful, tastefully executed store windows. Yes, this sounds terrible, but we do have eyes. But it's really all talk for most of us, since we're more afraid of rejection than anything (except maybe flying cockroaches).