All relationships come to that point where you both feel comfortable with each other already and sometimes that's okay. It's a stage every relationship goes through, anyway. But if you've been feeling this way for a long time already, even thinking about ending your relationship and getting a feeling of unhappiness starting to settle in, then maybe it's time to reassess the relationship you're in. Below are red flags in a relationship that you should watch for. You're probably better off leaving your relationship ASAP!
- It's abusive.
This is probably one of the most obvious reasons to leave a relationship. If you're already getting hurt—whether physically or emotionally—LEAVE. If your partner is being possessive, controlling, verbally abuses or even threatens you, LEAVE. There is no point in second guessing. Staying with someone who'll constantly hurt you and disrespect you is not someone you should be with. And if the situation is much worse, remember to seek the help of your parents or friends. Do not keep it all to yourself. It's okay to ask for help!
There's no more trust.
Trust is essential for a relationship to thrive. Without it, your relationship is just a collection of suspicions, lies, and insecurity. If you find yourself checking on your partner's phone or stalking his social media accounts, keeping track of his whereabouts and having that unsettling feeling, then something is definitely wrong.
There was cheating involved.
It's up to you if you are willing to give that person a second chance but think of this, will you be able to 100% fully trust him again? How sure are you that he won't do it again?
A relationship is all about bringing out the best in one another. But what if you're bringing out the worst in each other instead? If you are being put down or getting that feeling that you can't be yourself when you are around that person, then this might be a sign that you are in an unhappy and toxic relationship.
You find yourself wanting to spend time with other people rather than your significant other.
If you find yourself having thoughts like this, ask yourself, why? Do you think that he's not the person you want to be with? If you answered yes, then maybe it's time to forego the relationship.
He doesn't accept you for who you are.
The longer you are with a person the more you find out about them. You discover things that weren't apparent during your first dates like little quirks, mannerisms, etc. And if your partner can't accept who you are and tries to change you then maybe a break up is in order. You should always stay true to yourself and be happy with who you are.
Your partner is still caught up in the past.
If he constantly talks about his ex-girlfriend and unknowingly compares you to her, there's a huge chance that your partner is still hung up over his last relationship.
A good relationship should be about supporting each other of the things they want to do—their passion, goals, and dreams in life. If your partner discourages you and stops you from pursuing what you want or if you find yourself being in a totally different page with him about the future, a reassessment of your relationship might be needed.
You don't see yourself in the future with your current partner.
The point of being in a relationship is because you see yourself living the rest of your life with that person. If that's not how your partner sees it, then what is it that you're in a relationship? Just for fun? For experience? For mere companionship?
You're not happy anymore.
When there's more bad memories than good, don't you think that says a lot already? Being in a relationship should be something that makes you feel happy and loved. Something that makes you smile, laugh, and feel butterflies, not something that constantly makes you feel hurt or upset. Sure there will be fights and misunderstandings along the way but that should be nothing compared to the moments of bliss and euphoria. Simply put it, if you're not happy anymore, take that as a big, red, waving flag in front of your face to end the relationship ASAP. Don't prolong it anymore. Take the first step and free yourself. You deserve so much more.
One of my favorite authors said that there are many things that can keep you in a relationship. It may be because of the fear of being alone, fear of disrupting the arrangement of your life, a decision to settle for something that's just okay or that irrational belief that things will get better even if you know he won’t change. If these are the reasons why you're staying in a relationship, then that's not going to do you any good. Don't be afraid of change. Explore life, discover more of yourself, and never never settle for anything less.