10 Signs To Make A Run For It

by Ines Bautista-Yao   |  Feb 19, 2010
photo by Patrick Martires
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The first flush of love puts you on a high no one can pull you down from. Nothing comes close (except maybe for fat-free chunky white chocolate chip cookies with macadamia nuts). Because you're both so in love, it feels like your birthday and Christmas every single day. Until you start noticing things you wish you hadn't. At first, you let them slide. Hey, love conquers all, right? But after a while, you can't help but ask yourself, "Is this really normal? Am I weird for not agreeing with what he's doing even after he oh-so-adorably tells me he misses me after just five minutes?" Sometimes, it's hard to tell what normal annoying boy behavior is and what's not. But if you notice anything like the signs we've listed down for you, we strongly suggest sending him on a one-way flight to Dumpsville.

  1. He has no friends.
    Say what? But isn't that why he needs you so much? Isn't that where you come in to comfort him and be his friend? Think of it this way—he has no friends because he either doesn't know how to make them or take care of them. Sure, he's cute. Sure, you two hit it off. But what happens when YOU want to hang out with your girls? Or has he already asked you to give them up and spend every waking minute with him? Remember that you have a life apart from him too. Don't ditch it just because he doesn't have one of his own. Besides, haven't you wondered why you're the only one willing to get close to him.

  2. He obsesses about your weight.
    That's supposed to be your job, not his. As a matter of fact, it shouldn't even be your problem unless you're bordering on being unhealthy. On the other hand, if you keep whining about being fat, you can't blame him for bugging you to do something about it (after all, boys have this innate need to solve the problems of the world). But if you're perfectly happy with the way you look, yet he keeps telling you to cut ice cream from your diet completely, then it's time to wonder if he really cares about you... or how you look by his side.

  3. He uses up your load and doesn't pay you back.
    You can always rationalize this away by thinking, what's yours is his and you're just being the usual caring, giving, and supportive girlfriend. But sooner or later, you'll notice that he doesn't even ask you if he can text or call from your phone anymore, he'll just tell you to hand it over. And who's to say it's going to end there? What's to stop him from putting his feet up on your coffee table and telling you (not asking, mind you) to whip up some red velvet cupcakes? Or telling you week in and week out to lend him some cash 'til he gets his next allowance—even if he hasn't paid you yet for the last date (and the date before that and the date before that)? Can you say the words "taking advantage?" Because that's what he's doing to you.

  4. He hasn't introduced you to his family and friends.
    What are you, his imaginary girlfriend? Do they even know you exist? Several issues can be at the root of this: he is ashamed of you (ditch him NOW!), is ashamed of them (shame on him!), has problems with his parents (something you two must discuss), isn't allowed to have a girlfriend (uh-oh, are you really up for the stress of sneaking around?), or thinks he's part of a major conspiracy and must keep your identity a secret to protect your life (then he's just cuckoo). His world isn't limited to just him and you. To know who he really is, you must meet the people who play significant roles in his life. He could be hiding something, and you might not want to stick around to find out what it is.

  5. He compares you to other girls.
    How many times do we at Candy tell you not to do this? Your self-esteem cannot take that kind of beating. Imagine looking at your friends with envy instead of joy because they have shinier looking hair, the hottest gadget, or straight As? When will you find time in your jealous little heart to appreciate them for who they are instead of focusing on what they have that you don't? And how will you see the good things in you if you keep measuring yourself against other people? But it's worse if he dares to do the comparisons. Does he drop hints such as, "Kate always looks hot. Why can't you dress like her?" or "Anna's the perfect girlfriend. Can you try to be like her?" Show him the door. Now.

  6. He doesn't listen when you say no.
    Guys, no matter how sweet and nice they are, they will always try to see how far they can get with you—physically. When you tell him you don't want to go any further than kissing—or holding hands, even—he must listen. If he doesn't, you can either scream, "Rape!" (because there is such a thing as date rape) or "Get lost, you scumbag."

  7. His PlayStation is more important than your streetdance recital.
    Fine, you don't dance ballet. But if you've got a major event where you want him to play the role of the supporting boyfriend and he's a no-show—just because he was either too engrossed in leveling up or making that last free throw—you better check where you are on his list of priorities. Because you really don't need someone who isn't there for you when it matters.

  8. He lets you walk all over him.
    It's lovely to be spoiled by your boy. Your heart beats a little faster when he tells you he'd willingly give up a night with the guys for a few minutes with you. But what happens when he just says yes to everything you say? When you pick a fight, he hangs his head and mumbles a "sorry, honey" over and over? Enjoying your power? Before you nod your head, ask yourself whether you're in a relationship or a power trip. Don't mix them up. And while you're at it, don't settle for a wimp.

  9. He makes you choose...
    ... between him and your friends, your family, or your homework. So you tell yourself that he needs you more than your old sick grandma who's almost forgotten what you look like anyway since you haven't seen her in years. Or that he lost his soccer game and you need to comfort him instead of finishing your assignment on fractions (you can always submit it late anyway. What's a minus 10?). All because he tells you that you promised him he's number one in your life and that you'll never let anything or anyone come between you. Insecure, much? This is emotional baggage you don't need.

  10. He brings you down.
    As much as this is a no brainer, lots of girls still allow their boyfriends to make them feel bad about themselves. Let's say you finally get the lead role in your high school musical. After congratulating you, he starts telling you that you won't be able to handle the practices because your grades aren't all too stellar. So you might as well give it up since you can't hack it. Or what if you both try out for the same club and he tells you that you don't really want to be a part of it because your talents lie elsewhere-like aerobics class. What does he think he is—a confidence leech that sucks out all your happy feelings so that he can feel good about himself? He just can't handle your success because all of a sudden, he isn't your world anymore. So instead, he'll sabotage your chances by zapping your self-esteem. This is your cue to look him straight in the eye and say, "This relationship isn't big enough for the two of us." Flip your hair, do a quick pivot on your heel, and walk away. That's showing him who's the star!
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About the author
Ines Bautista-Yao
Former Editor in Chief, Candy
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