You Can Be Happy But Not In Front of Me
It's been exactly a year since you drifted away from me. For all those months you weren't here I tried to make myself believe that I don't care anymore. I made myself busy so I wouldn't give myself time to remember. I had the greatest memories with you and remembering them will surely hurt again.
You made me promise myself to never let anyone else in again. You've succeeded. Now I can win a trophy for being the best at pushing people away.
I am still haunted by the things we did together, places we went to, words I once heard from you, movies we've seen, songs we sang. Your ghost, my love, is still everywhere. Tell me what to do to make it go away.
We broke up because of the girl you met at the beach. You apologized but I respect myself too much and had to let you go. Three months after we broke up, I learned from your brother that your new girl (not the girl from the beach) is pregnant. Totally devastating, I must say, because secretly I am still hoping that one day you'll find your way back to me again.
Days went by and I got my first job. I got busy, but in between moments, I couldn't help but think of you even more. I would sometimes think of what could have happened if I forgave you. We might either be happy or lonely together. How was I to know?
Things happened for a reason and even though I still catch myself waiting for you to come back I still know for a fact that you have completely moved on and continued living without me.
Now you have a baby, a little person solely dependent on you. What a wonderful blessing! I know you're thrilled because you always wanted to have a family of your own. Everyone deserves to be happy. You, my love, deserve to be happy... but please, not in front of me.
P. S. You are still in my thoughts and know that I have never stopped loving you, my great love.
Written by Lara Roberto. Would you like to be published in this space, too? Send us your stories to candymagazine @gmail.com!