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Why We're Addicted to the Pain of Wanting Someone We Can't Have

If you are stuck in this love dilemma, it's time for you to stop settling and chasing the unattainable.
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You know this story very well: You can't have him, yet you're still hoping that someday, maybe someday, he will finally notice you and realize that you're the girl of his dreams. Whether it's about falling for a best friend, a co-worker, or even a committed person, there are lots of stories when it comes to unrequited love. Even though it's obvious that it may lead to nowhere, one still clings to a little glimmer of hope.

Love isn't supposed to hurt, they say, but why does a person tightens her hold onto someone she knows she can never call her own? Plus, she is aware that besides the uncertainty, heartbreak is the most likely ending of their so-called love story.

Relationship expert and author April Masini shared on her interview with Glamour, that most women tolerate the pain because they think that they're not worthy of real love. "You'll see them with a married man, hoping he'll leave his wife. Or you'll see them in a series of one-night stands where they try to leverage sex into love, or spend weeks interpreting a voice mail message he left with the analytic fervor of an international code breaker," she said.

She also added, "Dating is more complex than ever, and some women simply chase the serial dating game, or settle for the guy who will never commit—because they don't want to do the hard work of really figuring out what they want, what they offer, and how to get it, given those parameters. They've usually never even figured out what their deal breakers are."

Masini suggested that one has to decide for herself what she really wants and be brutally honest with her deal breakers. Once the standards are set, one must stick to it.

If you are stuck in this love dilemma, it's time for you to stop settling and chasing the unattainable. Everyone, including you, deserves to be happy and experience true love.

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This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Ana C. Pascual for FemaleNetwork.com
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