Why Rape is Not a Laughing Matter, ICYDK
With the way rape jokes are being casually tossed around by people, you'd think rape was nothing more than a light-hearted, fun romp that's enjoyed by the parties involved. Rape jokes are pretty common in ordinary, everyday conversations. "Rape-in kita diyan eh" is something some guys would blurt out to a woman who's either joking around with them or perhaps getting on their nerves. Sure it's a "joke"—one that also doubles as a threat, albeit not necessarily a serious one that is intended to be carried out but is nevertheless harmful and dangerous. Some women also make rape jokes, although instead of talking about raping someone, they mysteriously find joy in joking about themselves being raped. Do "Ay ang gwapo niya. Kung rape-in niya 'ko, hindi ako magrereklamo!" and "Kung siya ang rapist ko, okay lang sa 'kin" sound familiar?
People like to say nowadays that words are just words and they shouldn't be taken seriously. But words have far-reaching power, and treating rape like it's a joking matter will inevitably influence other people and make them think that, hey, maybe rape isn't as bad as people make it sound. The effect is even stronger when the jokes are uttered by influential people.ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOWCONTINUE READING BELOWRecommended Videos
The lines between rape and consensual sex—and indeed, between what is actually a serious issue and what is a joking matter—seem to be blurring nowadays, so perhaps a little refresher is needed to clarify what rape is.
Rape is not "a snuggle with a struggle" or a type of sex where the rapist just has to cajole or convince his would-be victim a little harder so they can have sex. Rape is unwanted sex forced upon an unwilling person by someone who thinks he has the right to that person's body just because he wants it, never mind if the other person was taken by surprise, did not agree to it, was unable to fight back, or has already explicitly said no.
Rape is not sex that is just a little more energetic than usual, and it's certainly not something that gets better if the victim just "lies back and enjoys it." It's a painful, violent experience that traumatizes the victim.
Rape is not committed by clumsy, fumbling, awkward guys who just want to express their admiration and desire but are unable to do so properly. Rape is committed by people who have decided that their physical needs take precedence over another person's consent and bodily autonomy.
Rape is not merely something that people accuse someone of doing if they regret a sexual encounter. Rape is a real experience suffered by very real victims, and their voices should not be silenced and their stories should not be ignored just because of a handful of false stories.
Rape is not a compliment or a validation of the victim's attractiveness and desirability. Rape leaves victims physically, emotionally, and psychologically bruised, making them blame themselves for what happened and wondering what they could have done to stop it even though the blame lays squarely on the shoulders of the rapists who decided to commit rape in the first place.
Rape is not just about sex. Rape is used by rapists to express their power and dominance over people. It has even been used as a tool of control by governments (in what is known as state-sanctioned rape) to keep people fearful and in line, as well as to punish them.
Rape is not something that anyone ever asks for. Rape is forced and unwanted. Period. And it doesn't matter what people are wearing, no matter how hard society tries to convince us that our outfits provoke people into committing rape.
Rape is not something that anyone ever deserves. Nobody deserves to have their bodies violated, even if some people think you have loose morals or, given the people targeted by rape threats and jokes nowadays, are simply someone who's annoying.
Rape is not a joke. Rape is only a joke to those who have the privilege of never being worried that it will happen to them and who have the power to commit it (or even be actual rapists themselves). Rape is something that half of the population hopes will never happen to them. Some women might joke about rape, but in reality, no one will be happily welcoming the experience or imagining that their wildest dreams are coming true.
One would expect that everyone would be united in agreeing that rape is never a good thing. However, instead of stepping back and saying, "Hey, maybe joking about a bad thing like rape is really offensive and hurtful and we should stop," people are acting as if those who criticize rape jokes are simply overreacting. People are listening less to the victims and those who are more likely to be raped and focusing more on defending people who think rape is just a casual experience to joke about.
Too many people are hiding behind the tired excuse "Biruan lang naman" and deflecting criticism by saying that others are too sensitive or simply unable to get the joke, and it's getting old. That's why the rest of us must refuse to laugh and play along, and be unafraid of saying that those who make and defend rape jokes are the ones who are wrong.
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
Hi! It's been so long since I planned to post my story in another platform aside from wattpad and now here I am, hoping that my story can be featured here.
My story is entitle "Who Are You," it's a tagalog-english teen fiction story so I hope, those filipinos who visit here can read my story!
WHO ARE YOU: PRELUDE
Sinungaling na ba ako kung sasabihin ko sa inyo ang pangalan ko? Hindi ako sure kung anong sasabihin kong pangalan ko pero may nagsasabi sa aking wag nalang magpakilala sa inyo.
May gusto lang naman akong itanong... Paano kung may makilala ka sa kasalukuyan na nagpapaalala sayo sa nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang nakilala mo sa kasalukuyan ay may tinatago pa lang sikreto na kahit siya mismo ay walang alam pero may kinalaman sa iyong nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang dalawang ito ay may koneksyon? Anong pipiliin mo? Ang nakilala mo sa nakaraan? O ang nagpakilala bilang ibang tao sa kasalukuyan? Past? Or Present?
There was this guy I dated for a while but things didn't turn out well. I was so into him that one night I can't stop thinking about him, I've decided to send his MOM a message on facebook confessing how much I like her son. I wish it ended there but no. I had to make it so emotional, lengthy and detailed like the drama queen I am. Luckily, it went to message request so I'm hoping she hasn't really read it yet. Up until this day it makes me cringe whenever I think about it but hey, whenever it pops in my mind I make myself laugh too so thank you self for being unbelievably shameless and brave when it comes to love. I may age faster because I have made a lot of cringe-worthy moments that I constantly make faces out of embarrassment just reflecting on my antics but I know I've made more hilarious memories than what ifs and somehow that makes the disappointments feel more like assurances that I have gave it my all and I have lived as honest (maybe a little to honest) as I could. #ItsOnlyNatural #CanBnatural
I've been investing in arts, photography, and writing. I've also got back to reading the other day and I finished reading this amazing book entitled 300 Things I Hope by Iain S. Thomas. It is all about the things the author hopes his readers to do in all aspects of life. So, I decided to make a version of it with all of the things I'm hoping for.
I hope I get to see my friends be successful in life. I hope to make a big mural someday. I hope to be a well-known artist like the artists I look up to. I hope to marry the person I am in love with today. I hope to be a little kinder to myself. I hope to see happiness even in the smallest things. I hope to travel the world. I hope to be a good mother and a wife to my future family. I hope to have my artworks displayed in a gallery or an exhibit. I hope to learn more about creative writing. I hope I won't learn how to get tired and give up my passion. I hope I won't get too hard on myself whenever I don't get the results I've been wanting to see in my works. I hope to love myself more even on the days I hate it the most. I hope to lead and empower women; to be their voice and for them to believe in themselves that they can be the woman they look up to. And when I've reached my limit of these things, I hope I won't get tired of reminding myself that my emotions don't make me weak, hence, makes me stronger. These are some of the things I always hope for. What about you? What are you hoping for?
I started fixing myself this quarantine. I mean, I started trying makeup products. As a teen, I'm on my phone almost every hour of the day, scroll on my social media accounts, especially Instagram, and also Pinterest where you get to see nice and pleasing photography by bunch of amazing and beautiful people from different parts of the world. So I started taking my own as well. I did not know that taking your own photo and try to get an Instagramable one is sooooooooo hard, it's exhausting. I do not have alot of space in my room, and I would definitely not do it outside our house because of Corona Virus, and I don't want to be seen by our neighbors HAHA so I have no choice but to make tiis inside my room.
Out of atleast 25 shots, only 2 are a nice picture. While I'm all sweaty and tired, I am proud of what I could do beyond my comfort zone. And this definitely built my self confidence, (and I secret love the compliments I received from both people I know and don't know) It's not my first time visiting in here, Candy! But I'm new to writing my thoughts and experiences, so bare with me HAHA.
Until next time!