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What's Holding You Back?

Here's a list of possible things that may be stopping you from being happy. It's time to let those things go.
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  1. Overthinking
    The thing with people who overthink is they didn't choose the overthinking life. It's not your fault that you're stuck playing the try-to-figure-out-what-people-are-really-trying-to-say game. You tend to feel stuck trying to analyze what your friend really meant when he/she said that you look "tired" today or how he/she didn't include a smiley in her text or how he/she didn't mention that all of your friends happen to be hanging out without you enjoying afternoon tea, cupcakes, and everything cute in the world. The worst part of overthinking is probably wondering if the opposite party overthinks about how you feel too. You wonder if you're the only one suffering of constant state of mind jumble (which eventually leads to temporary depression) while your friends are out there eating your favorite flavor of  cupcakes and personally recommended tea. Overthinking sucks, no use arguing about that. There is a fine line, however, when overthinking gets the better of you and holds you back. Sometimes we just need to see things for the way they that they appear to be without feeling the need to unveil what's behind the surface. Sometimes, you really just look tired. Sometimes, no smileys just mean no smileys. Sometimes, your friends just really forget (even though they didn't mean to).

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  2. Your fear of regret and mistakes
    Living with the constant fear that you might regret this or might make a mistake out of that means not living at all. People become obsessed with the idea of certainty that they feed on it when it comes to everything. They only want to order a dish they've already tried before. They only want to take up a class they know they'll excel in. They only want to drive to new places if it means it's near enough for them to recognize the street names. Life isn't about certainty because if it were, there would be no room for anything amazing. The best memories and adventures aren't made of what you've done before but of what you have yet to try. Be open to anything and expand your knowledge of what's right, wrong and in-between.

  3. Toxic people
    We can say our unhappiness is destiny's fault, or timing's fault, or fate's. We can even blame it on ourselves, if need be. We're usually blinded in seeing truth of whose fault it really is and that it may be someone else’s.  We come across a lot of people in our life; some that we'd do anything to keep and some that are just not meant to stay. The tricky part of identifying the toxic people in your life is that they usually hide behind the mask of friendship, which is worse than people who straight up show you that they don't like you. They enter your life initially calling themselves your friends because they want to gain your trust.  And once they have, the mask comes off. The only thing to do with toxic people is to cut them off and have nothing to do with them anymore. It’s one thing to be sad because of a loved one but it's a whole other thing to be miserable when it's because of someone who's not even worth your time.

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  4. Your inability to speak your mind
    The reason why there are overthinkers in this world is because of the abundance of the people who don't say what's really on their mind. You are scared to say what you really think and then you end up not saying anything at all. In the end, it's your feelings that are bottled up, it’s your thoughts that end up being Life is too short to leave things unsaid.

  5. Your incapability to forgive
    There are times when we find ourselves in a struggle between getting over it and getting even.  There are people in this world who say they'll forgive you but they won't forget. And that's just misleading altogether. In order to forgive, you must set all your anger and reservations free because it is no longer part of you. By saying that you have forgiven, in the process, you have already forgotten. There is that idea that you need to get back at the person who hurt you and let them to know what it felt like for you in order to balance the scale out. Ask yourself this: after getting your revenge, then what? You're not the better person. In fact, you just turned into the person you're mad at in the first place.   You can't blame this one on other people, or things like destiny and fate because when you refuse to forgive, you're the one refusing to let go. It's not the person who hurt you that's holding you back. It's you that's holding yourself back.
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About the author
Julianne Suazo
Candymag.com Correspondent
What makes me a certified Candy girl is my desire and eagerness to present myself as me, but better.
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