Over a year ago, the onset of the pandemic upended all aspects of our life, including our dating lives. In the new normal where physical touch and quality time are considered a luxury, some people resorted to meeting with people on dating apps like Bumble and Tinder, thus the coining of the term quaranflings.
What does quaranfling mean?
A quaranfling is a term used to describe a romantic relationship that developed during the COVID-19 pandemic. But just like many other things, it doesn’t always work out. And it can actually really suck. There might be times when others will invalidate what you’re feeling. Sometimes, you might even invalidate yourself by constantly thinking that you’re overreacting over someone you interacted with mostly online.
Shoo those feelings of invalidation away! After all, developing a connection with anyone, especially during a time where physical gatherings are limited, is no easy feat. You made an active decision to put in the effort to get to know a person despite the limitations you both faced. You formed a special bond with one another that transcended physical interaction during a difficult time. But sadly, it's time to let it go. No matter how long it may take us, there's always a way for us to bounce back from the setback.
Here are a few ways to help you move on from your quaranfling:
Acknowledge what the relationship meant to you.
The first and also the most important step to moving on from your quaranfling is to honor your feelings by admitting that you feel it. Don’t gaslight yourself by downplaying the relationship you shared. If it meant a lot to you, then it did. Simple as that. Acknowledge what the relationship meant to you and be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling.
Process your emotions!
People have different ways of processing their emotions, and you know yourself best. Just remember to avoid self-destructing in the process. Some healthy ways to process your emotions is to write down your feelings, rant to your friends, and cry about it if you need to. Feel all of it, then feel it some more.
Mute their accounts.
Another inevitable part of the process of moving on is constantly looking at their social media accounts. That’s normal. After all, moving on is not a linear process. There are days when you feel okay and then there are days when it feels like you just want to sit in your room all day and cry. But constantly checking on them and what they’re doing might be counter-productive in your quest to move on. When you feel that you’re ready, mute their accounts. Try to detach yourself from news of them completely.
Create a new routine.
The last step is to make a commitment to create a new routine for yourself. Replace the time that was once meant to talk to your quaranfling with things that make you happy. Workout, read, watch some Netflix, do some spring cleaning, spend some time with your friends, pick up a new hobby - the options are endless! What’s important is that you do it for yourself. When you do things that you love, slowly but surely, you’ll find yourself thinking about them less and less. You might even find yourself loving yourself more as you spend more time with yourself.
There will be days when you miss them again. That’s alright. Feel it, reminisce your memories, talk to a friend, then pick yourself back up again. As you go through the gruesome and complex process of moving on, remember that you owe it to yourself to not just be honest with what you feel, but also to commit to learning to love yourself more. Throughout this whole process, a day will come when your mind will inevitably drift to them, and you’ll stop and think, “how are they?” Then, it’ll hit you: they are no longer the predominant thought in your head. That’s when you’ll know: you’re okay now.
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