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"We Like Each Other Pero 'Di Pa Siya Ready Mag-Commit"

Pinagtagpo pero 'di itinadhana.

If there is one thing that 2020 has proven correctly, it’s that modern dating is a wildly complicated process. Getting into a relationship involves more than just liking someone because so many other factors come into play. For instance, you might already be comfy with one another, but conflict might arise when one of you wants to make the relationship official and the other doesn’t. If you like each other but have different opinions about your actual relationship, here are some things to consider before deciding on how to move forward:

Liking someone sometimes isn’t enough of a reason to be with them.

Sure, you think you’ve found the “ideal” person to be with. They’re compassionate, funny, respectful, and just overall puwede-ipakilala-sa-parents material. But, the moment you mention something long-term or throw labels into the relationship, they start to swerve in a different direction.

In the real world, finding someone who fits our type is no longer just the only thing that matters in love. You’ve got to look at the circumstances you both are in, too, and be accepting of the possibility that, despite having all the qualities that you look for in someone, they may not be the right person to be with at the moment.

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Being with someone who wants something different might be preventing you from meeting the person you’re more compatible with.

Why force a relationship you’re not both 100 percent happy about when you can be putting yourself out there to meet people and find someone who really resonates with the same kind of things you want when it comes to dating?

The world is bustling with millions of dynamic personalities, so you’re bound to find someone who sees things the way you do (enough to be in a healthy relationship at least), but you wouldn’t be able to do so if you’ve already committed to a relationship.

Don’t think that you need to compromise your own preferences and needs just to be with someone.

Being with someone else shouldn’t be a reason for you to bargain with the things you want in life, especially the long-term and more life-changing ones. If commitment, stability, and assurance are things you think you’re ready to try and want at this point in your life, then don’t feel obliged to stay with someone who isn’t open to these ideas just because you think you’ll never find someone else like them (because you will).

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Time apart may help both of you grow individually and realize what you really want out of a relationship.

It’s normal for people in relationships, even complicated ones, to have disagreements and differing opinions. But if it’s about something as crucial as your future together, then maybe it would be helpful to take a timeout from one another to allow you the space you need to reassess what you really want in life. Socializing with friends and surrounding yourself with different kinds of people might help you understand the kind of bonds you’d want to form with others, or even see if you really are the type of person who likes labels and boundaries.

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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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