Unhealthy Competition and How it Ruins Friendships

Ego or friendship?
by Nicole Chiang   |  Sep 3, 2016
Image: The CW Art: Clare Magno
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People always want to be on top of their game, lest they fall back and get left behind by this fast-paced world. Reality is now a competition, and everyone wants to survive. Today, friend and foe no longer exist as black and white. Our professional lives get muddled into our personal lives.

Friendships are destroyed, relationships are forgotten—all in the name of personal interest.

As we grow up, we need to take note that competition is not a bad thing... when done in a healthy way. Healthy, meaning there is no ill intention from both parties. This is very important especially when it comes to dealing with friends. It's great when you motivate each other to do your very best. It actually helps when someone pushes you beyond your comfort zone. But when push comes to shove, and you start shoving each other's faces to the mud with a smile, this competition has already obviously gone out of control.


Keep yourself in check. There's always a monster lurking inside our mind, and it's up to us to take control of it. That monster comes in the form of insecurity. It's what steers healthy competition to an unhealthy one, and you may never notice it even happening because you were too engrossed with winning yourself. One thing you have to remember in a competition is that it's unequal. There will always be a winner and a loser. Someone will always be better than the other. When you're on the losing end, it's so easy to become jealous and insecure. It's normal to feel that way, but never feed that spark. Once you feel inadequate and dissatisfied, take a step back and evaluate yourself. Are you sure you want to carry that kind of negativity with you until it leaks in to every single relationship you have?

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Suppose it was the other way around, you were the one with the upper hand, and because you were riding your wave of victory, you didn't notice your friend turning bitter and jealous of you. If your friend didn't feel the least bit happy for you, he/she might resort to doing things just to bring you down. This friend of yours could turn your friendship sour by digging dirt and personal matters to the table. As unfair as it may sound, this is the result of the negativity she never did away with. It fed the monster, and that monster decided that the competition needed some turning around. Never mind the friendship it will ruin in the end.


Not so pleasant, right? So don't be that friend. When you feel yourself turning toxic, distance yourself for a while. Ask yourself if it is really worth destroying your friendship. In the long run, remember that you'll eventually look back on all this. It would be so much better if you remembered yourself as the one who stayed happy for the success of your friends. Be proud of your friendship, no matter who wins or loses. When you steer clear of any budding unhealthy competition in the name of friendship, be proud of yourself.

Be proud of your friendship, no matter who wins or loses.

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About the author
Nicole Chiang
Candymag.com Correspondent
A fan of music, theatre, movies, books and food, Nicole is an all-around over-achiever who won’t stop pushing for the best, and nothing but the best.
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