photo by Macy Alcaraz
One of the realities of growing up is being concerned with the bigger picture. You begin to think about your goals and your relationships with other people on a larger scale. You have a lot of questions on your mind, but are you asking the right ones? Grab a pen and paper and answer the questions below to help you do some soul-searching—Candy
- What am I good at?
Insecurity comes from prioritizing other people's expectations of you rather than being confident in yourself. You may lose your individuality while struggling to please other people all the time.
BUST IT! Make a list of what you're good at and what you're not so good at. Learn to develop your strengths and accept your weaknesses. On a scale of 1 to 10, you may be a 3 in sports but a 10 in music. Worrying about your weaknesses might minimize your strengths, so focus on your 10s instead to maximize your potential.
- Whose opinion matters?
Whenever you encounter a dilemma, whom do you turn to for advice? Friends may be good listeners, but have you thought of turning to Mom?
BUST IT! Develop a healthy, open relationship with your mom, your older sister, or an older relative. Think about it, they were once teenagers like you and might have gone through similar experiences. It's easy to underestimate older people's advice, but hear them out. Instead of seeing them as cops out to spoil the fun, develop a friendlier relationship with them.
- What keeps me from doing something?
Scared of making mistakes or being criticized for your work? Fear will get you nowhere. A lot of unhappy people have let fear rule their lives and end up never realizing their full potential.
BUST IT! Courage is not the absence of fear, but action in the midst of fear. Remember, a person is not a failure for doing so many things that did not work out. She only fails when she has stopped trying. Consider mistakes as lessons learned. Even the most successful people have failed on their way to success.
- Why am I so stressed?
Schoolwork, soccer practice, long exams the list goes on. If you're too busy to take a step back, how can you pinpoint what's bothering you?
BUST IT! If your daily activities cause you stress, then take the time to think about what you want to change. Are you still taking those piano lessons your mom insists on even though your heart isn't in them? Do you need more me time and less gimmicks? Complaining will just waste your energy. Only change can relieve stress!
- Who are my real friends?
Remembering the people who've been with you through thick and thin will not only give you an idea of who to call when you've got a problem, but will also prevent you from taking them for granted.
BUST IT! Develop friendships with people who give you space to be yourself and room to make mistakes. Stick to those who accept you for who you are, yet encourage you to change for the better. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in you will push you on the road to success.
- What makes me happy?
Had a bad day? Don't dwell on negative aspects when times get rough! Dwelling on sadness can keep you from focusing on the good things in your life. And most of the time, the situation is not as bad as you think.
BUST IT! List down all the simple things that make you happy—hearing your favorite song on the radio, receiving encouraging texts from friends and family, or even a nice cold iced tea on a hot summer day. It's good to keep a list to remind you to be thankful for the good things you have—things you usually fail to appreciate. A grateful attitude makes a whole lot of difference!
- Who inspires me?
Knowing what you want in life and having role models give you more purpose. You begin to see things on a broader scale and learn to customize your choices according to your life goals.
BUST IT! Learn to choose your role models. Find inspiration in their successes and how they made it to the top. This way, it makes realizing your dreams easier to achieve. If other people have made it, why can't you
- What do I need to change?
Who doesn't want to become better? If you find yourself frequently stressed or irritable, it means you need to change something.
BUST IT! Re-examine your habits. Do you get things done on time? What makes you impatient? Then start new habits to improve your disposition. It may take a lot of time and effort, but it's better than being a humbug. Remember: Change can start from the little things you do everyday.
- What do I need to let go of?
Go through life without the excesses that weigh you down! More than material things that you need to take out of your closet once in a while, it is usually emotional baggage that you need to let go of to live a happy life.
BUST IT! Who needs emotional baggage? Learn to stop holding grudges against people who have offended you. If you want real change in your life, why not be the first to reach out and forgive?
- How can I be confident?
Confidence is not a feeling you get. It may seem like other people have it easy being confident in the things they do, but everyone has his or her own share of insecurities and fears, no exceptions. It's simply a matter of how to deal with it.
BUST IT! Can't let go of fear? Then do it even though you're afraid! It doesn't matter if you're scared or uncertain of yourself. It may take awhile, but that's how you practice confidence! Each time you decide to take a step out of your shy zone and simply get things done is a step closer to a more confident you!
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