Features

To Whatever It Was We Had

Was there even an "us" to begin with?
PHOTO Samuel Goldwyn Films

I was in high school, and I had just moved to your school. We were in every class together. I never knew about your existence and you never acknowledged mine. I was fine being by myself, being the girl by the sidelines. But somewhere along the line, I guess you noticed me and began taking interest in me. I didn't know how to respond to that. So I decided that being friendly would cause no one any harm or trouble.

I was charmed by you. A little too much, a little too fast, but I didn't care. You made me smile. I was lonely and you were bored. Many all-night texts, sideway glances, smiles, and kilig moments later, people started to notice and began to label us an item. I wasn't comfortable being tied down to someone. I wasn't comfortable with them associating me and you together, because I didn't know what page we were on. I was in the unfamiliar territory of this so-called mutual understanding.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

I heard about her. Not from you, but from them. I talked to you about her, but mostly wanted to know what our status was. You told me you liked me, but you still had unrequited feelings for her. Then you avoided me and left me hanging.

CONTINUE READING BELOW
Recommended Videos

I was disappointed. Yes, by you. I was your little distraction from facing all your demons. I was your practical joke as you mentioned to me. It was disheartening, because I trusted you. But I was mostly disappointed in myself. I was beginning to like you and I opened a little part of me not many people see.

I let you in again, only because you said you loved me. I said it back just to make you stay with me, but I never really meant it. I didn't know what love was—neither did you. You were bored and maybe desperate to feel love. I had no one I called friends and I needed someone to keep me company. We used each other for our own selfish benefits and desires. We eventually started running back and forth from one person to the other, then back to each other. Then we finally grew tired.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Ironically, you never called me your girlfriend, and I never called you my boyfriend. I know you liked me, but it wasn't enough for you to even ask me out and forget about her. You know I liked you, but it wasn't enough for me to give up my individuality to be with you. I stopped whatever we had. Although we were more than friends to each other we never defined our so-called relationship. We were never on the same page. I guess that's why "we" didn't work out.  We created a fantasy of who we wanted to be, not even glancing at what we really were.

It's been a long time now since "we" happened. I have never felt this better without you. I know you feel the same. I never cried about you, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I've moved on quickly, but that doesn't mean that I had no feelings for you then. When I hear about you, I am sometimes reminded of what we had. It doesn't hurt and it doesn't sting. I'm happy with the results that came out from whatever we had. I suppose what we had was never worth it to even be called an "us." There was never an "us" to begin with. But whatever that was, whatever we shared, it was beautiful while it lasted. 

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Sent in anonymously.

your REACTION
CUTE

0

HEART

0

OMG

0

YAY

0

/////////////////////////////
COMMENTS. JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW!
Comments
VIEW more ARTICLES ABOUT
About the author
You!
Our Readers
The good stuff straight from our readers! Submit your feels: candymag.com/candy-feels and see them on the site.
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM From

Create your content

Photo
Video
SoundCloud
Hi, you!
Title
Body Text
*1st 15 seconds will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
or
Upload Video
*For the direct video upload option, only the first 15 seconds of the video will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)

By submitting your post, you agree to Candymag's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Thank you for submitting your post.
You will be notified via email once your entry has been approved by the Candy team.

Submitted posts will be subject to the approval of the Candy Team.

A few reminders:

  1. Candy Bulletin is an online platform where users can upload original work, personal passion projects, and other forms of self-expression, for the purpose of sharing with the community.
  2. You can upload photos of your curated OOTDs, 15-second videos, essays, poems, and more, as long as the submitted work is original, follows copyright laws, and free of any nudity, pornography, or profanity.
  3. You are encouraged to comment on one another's posts, as long as everyone remains respectful.
Submit Another Post View More Posts
latest on CandyMag.com
 
x
Share
Ellen Page was originally supposed to star in the film adaptation.
 
x
Share
Based on their performance in the licensure examinations.
 
x
Share
Tthe Kapuso star also recently ventured into video game streaming.
 
x
Share
The twins also disclosed that Mavy is the "boy version" of Carmina, while Cassy is the "girl version" of Zoren.
 
x
Share
 
x
Share
 
x
Share
Alden is using his quarantine hobby for a good cause.
 
x
Share
Before becoming the actress that she is now, Anya Taylor-Joy started out as a model.
LOAD MORE ARTICLES
your REACTION
Pick a sticker to view stories by reaction!
/////////////////////////////
CONNECT WITH US