To the Person Who Made Me Fall So Easily
I will never forget how cute you looked when I met you. We have been in the same school for almost a decade and I can't believe I never saw you before. You had chinky eyes and had chinito looks that made my knees fold. You were the ideal guy I've always pictured in my head.
I will never forget that only after 12 hours of texting, we both confessed that we liked each other. I will never forget thinking how it happened so fast, then you reassuring me that it was meant to be.
I will never forget when you baked me brownies for Valentine's Day, then you got jealous because another guy gave me a special flavored brownies, too. I will never forget you telling me that your brownies were better, because they were made and not bought. I will never forget thinking I was so lucky.
I will never forget our evening walks around the campus strolling in the dark. One of those nights was when you made me a "flower" fashioned out of a Rubik's cube. You might have thought it was cheesy, but it was the spontaneous kind of perfect for me.
I will never forget thinking to give you my first kiss. Something a sentimental girl like me would consider very special. I will never forget the feeling that even our friends liked that were together, saying that we were bagay.
I will never forget you telling me you love me every night and how I called you sweetheart. I will never forget thinking that we might still be together in the long run.
I will never forget how you broke my heart so easily, just telling me through a text message that your feelings for me have passed. I will never forget how you easily believed that it was fine, that I would be okay. I will never forget steering clear from you the day after. Unfortunately, fate still wanted us to meet. I will never forget how I wasted all my efforts running around the campus avoiding you, only to end up bumping into you by the stairwell.
I will never forget how after just a few months of breaking up, you already told me about your new girl. I will never forget me thinking how it hurt me that you got over me that easily. I will never forget the anger and joy I felt when you told me that your girl already had a boyfriend.
I will never forget how it took me a very long time to get over you. How the time I needed to get over you was a lot longer than the time we were actually together. I will never forget how I tried so hard to be friends with you. I will never forget that I never saw you try to do the same. I will never forget leaving my feelings for you in the province for good, then you ruining it for just after 2 hours. I will never forget how you said you wanted to be friends, then finally saying that it was not you who said it. I would never forget crying because of you, how you toyed with my feelings yet again.
I will never forget how we were supposed to talk about everything on our supposed anniversary. I will never forget coming prepared for everything and you weren't. I remember me trying to talk about anything and you just giving the same, one-phrase response.
I will never forget your reply to my all-out text. I will never forget reading "The recipe I used to bake you the brownies was from my ex-super crush. I told her I was making brownies for a girl to show her that I can live without her." I will never forget my heart crushing. I will never forget my best friend warning me that I may be a rebound. I will never forget defending you to her and saying you were over your ex-super crush.
I will never forget how after all these years and after all those things, I still want to hurt you in some way. I will never forget me wanting to prove to you that in the end, I won in a way and I’m doing better than you. They say that if you still feel angry, then you still have feelings for this guy. I will never forget when I realized that I was no longer in love with you, but that I was in love with the idea of you. How you were sweet when we were together, how you asked me where my ticklish part was so you’ll just tickle me when I feel sad. I will never forget you always being the topic of my compositions. I will never forget the lesson I learned in this part of my life and how I can use it to grow up and be mature about it.
Elle Jadella blogs at confessionsofacasualdaydreamer.tumblr.com.