To the Person Who Made Me Fall So Easily
I will never forget how cute you looked when I met you. We have been in the same school for almost a decade and I can't believe I never saw you before. You had chinky eyes and had chinito looks that made my knees fold. You were the ideal guy I've always pictured in my head.
I will never forget that only after 12 hours of texting, we both confessed that we liked each other. I will never forget thinking how it happened so fast, then you reassuring me that it was meant to be.
I will never forget when you baked me brownies for Valentine's Day, then you got jealous because another guy gave me a special flavored brownies, too. I will never forget you telling me that your brownies were better, because they were made and not bought. I will never forget thinking I was so lucky.
I will never forget our evening walks around the campus strolling in the dark. One of those nights was when you made me a "flower" fashioned out of a Rubik's cube. You might have thought it was cheesy, but it was the spontaneous kind of perfect for me.
I will never forget thinking to give you my first kiss. Something a sentimental girl like me would consider very special. I will never forget the feeling that even our friends liked that were together, saying that we were bagay.
I will never forget you telling me you love me every night and how I called you sweetheart. I will never forget thinking that we might still be together in the long run.
I will never forget how you broke my heart so easily, just telling me through a text message that your feelings for me have passed. I will never forget how you easily believed that it was fine, that I would be okay. I will never forget steering clear from you the day after. Unfortunately, fate still wanted us to meet. I will never forget how I wasted all my efforts running around the campus avoiding you, only to end up bumping into you by the stairwell.
I will never forget how after just a few months of breaking up, you already told me about your new girl. I will never forget me thinking how it hurt me that you got over me that easily. I will never forget the anger and joy I felt when you told me that your girl already had a boyfriend.
I will never forget how it took me a very long time to get over you. How the time I needed to get over you was a lot longer than the time we were actually together. I will never forget how I tried so hard to be friends with you. I will never forget that I never saw you try to do the same. I will never forget leaving my feelings for you in the province for good, then you ruining it for just after 2 hours. I will never forget how you said you wanted to be friends, then finally saying that it was not you who said it. I would never forget crying because of you, how you toyed with my feelings yet again.
I will never forget how we were supposed to talk about everything on our supposed anniversary. I will never forget coming prepared for everything and you weren't. I remember me trying to talk about anything and you just giving the same, one-phrase response.
I will never forget your reply to my all-out text. I will never forget reading "The recipe I used to bake you the brownies was from my ex-super crush. I told her I was making brownies for a girl to show her that I can live without her." I will never forget my heart crushing. I will never forget my best friend warning me that I may be a rebound. I will never forget defending you to her and saying you were over your ex-super crush.
I will never forget how after all these years and after all those things, I still want to hurt you in some way. I will never forget me wanting to prove to you that in the end, I won in a way and I’m doing better than you. They say that if you still feel angry, then you still have feelings for this guy. I will never forget when I realized that I was no longer in love with you, but that I was in love with the idea of you. How you were sweet when we were together, how you asked me where my ticklish part was so you’ll just tickle me when I feel sad. I will never forget you always being the topic of my compositions. I will never forget the lesson I learned in this part of my life and how I can use it to grow up and be mature about it.
Elle Jadella blogs at confessionsofacasualdaydreamer.tumblr.com.
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Nineteen is a rather unremarkable age as it is not as celebrated as the age before it nor is it considered as much of a turning point as the age after it. However, this is the time when you find yourself smack in the middle of enjoying your teens and worrying about becoming an adult.
More often than not, you'll start to wonder whether you made the most out of your teenage years or whether you're ready to take on the responsibilities of being an adult. This constant dilemma will leave you anxious and confused. But, don't beat yourself up because this is the beauty of being 19.
You are no longer the foolish teenager who thought he/she was the center of the universe because now, you are old enough to start thinking like a grown up who understands that you are but a tiny speck in the whole solar system. It doesn't mean that you are insignificant but rather, that you are part of a colossal existence. This realization will enable you to make the right choice. And as you navigate the remaining days of your teens, don't forget to look back on the lessons you've picked up through the years and look forward to what lies ahead of you in the future.
BUWAN (Reverse Poetry)
Isinulat ni: Zamira Ariola
Ang liwanag noon
Nagsilbing gabay ngayon
Ang nagpapanatiling buhay
Sa pusong pagod
Sa pusong wala ng laman
Sa pusong wala nang nararandaman
Ikaw ang nagdala
Bakit nga ba?
Ikaw ang minahal
Ikaw ang ginawang mundo
Para magkasilbi ang buhay ko?
Bakit ikaw ang nagdala ng liwanag?
Ikaw ba ang buwan?
[Basahing muli paitaas]
"The paradoxical idea of attaining a happier life and how to withstand these beliefs."
The Revolting Truth About Happiness by Theserenefae
If people ask you about your vision of a happier life we automatically envision ourselves having more money, true love, a better job, Instagram-worthy vacations, etc. But let me break this to you this, According to Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and the voice behind The Happiness Lab podcast, "Most of the goals we think would make us happy do not really make us happy." And why is that? Simple, being happy is all in our minds. The human mind ploys us with these lenses on how we envision ourselves and our lives to be happy. The perception of "having" or "gaining" is the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. So how can we really be "happy"?
• Seek happiness inside you. This is a quintessential reason for our vision of happiness: misconceptions about having a lot of money would make me happy; owning this and that would make me happy; entering a relationship would make me happy. This is not the case, if you want to be truly happy with your relationship, you have to be already happy on your own. If you want satisfaction from others, you have to be satisfied with yourself. And so on.
• Fill that hole righteously We all have that tiny hole inside our hearts, tampering it with temporary band-aids. Fill this hole with purpose. Have you ever heard about The Three "M's"— Master, Mission, and Mate? Define who will be your Master, is it God? If that's so, your Mission could be following his words and will. Mate would be the last for they will be the best companion to fulfill your mission. Now hear me out, it is important to do this accordingly. We often times jumble it or invert it which can lead to failures.
• Give gifts to others. The wonderful grace in giving. There’s nothing like the rush of pure joy when you get a chance to give. However, this may not be something that we're used to. But apparently, openhandedness is our soul's true shape. As Eugene Peterson put it, "Giving is what we do best. It is the air into which we were born." This doesn't necessarily mean we have to give away our stuff but we can also present love, kindness, gratefulness, etc. in our own simplest ways to anyone such as giving time, encouragement, helping hand, or even forgiveness. Try giving and you'll receive inconceivable gifts in return.
• Savor moments. Savoring deeply intensifies our positive emotions while doing something that we love the most by simply stepping outside of the experience to review and appreciate the moment. You can practice this by having a delicious meal, reading a good book, or any activity that you enjoy and love. It can also be enhanced by sharing these experiences with others, appreciating such amazing moments, or staying present the entire time.
• Choose to Love Deeper Today's society relentlessly pressures all of us to have this "perfect" lifestyle such as pursuing careers that drain you, finding value through virtual world and purchases, letting achievements become your whole identity, and yet after all that you still feel empty and failure inside. Consumption is just skin deep—a shallow perception of happiness. Deep life brings the best out of us and others. It is about nourishing what you already have, focusing on the relationships than material wealth, becoming vulnerable at times, and being self-aware.
• Understand that Sufferings and Pain are part of Human Being. Always remember that loneliness and sufferings are inevitable. That is completely how life goes. You may be happy for a moment or a month but sooner or later great tribulation will start to kick in. Combat despair with graciousness. Count all the blessings that you have (and will have in near future, claim it!) by writing it down on a piece of paper or typing on your phone. Viola! an instant boost for happiness. We all know the fact that this superficial happiness won't work, but why do I keep on wanting? I already have all this wisdom about how to be happy for ages, but why can't I apply it to my own life?
First, you have to understand that simply knowing doesn't change your behavior. Care to realize that all the tips that I have mentioned are all verbs? Because at the end of the day, it is all about how you choose to be happy and initiate actions towards success. Know, reflect, visualize, believe, and do something about it. All of these are Actions! This is the secret of all the happiest and most influential people in the world—actions. Furthermore, do know that some of these tips do not work instantly most of the time. It requires a lot of time, motivation, consistency, and effort. I do know it's easier said than done. Take each of them slowly, one step at a time.
If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be alive. It may sound contradictory, but it’s true. Pain reminds me that I can feel, along with other emotions. Pain reminds me that I can heal, just like how I did in the past. Pain reminds me that I am strong and I can do better. It reminds me that life can be bitter, and it is up to us to make it a little sweeter (or saltier, depending on what the person wants).
With this epiphany, I take pain in a positive light. It’s normal that it can break me and make me want to stay in bed all day, but having someone or something remind me that there is hope is enough. It’s normal that I cry my heart out, but it’s important to remember that there’s a calm after the storm. If it wasn’t for pain, I wouldn’t be who I am now. It has shaped me and how I look at things. It has changed the way I approach circumstances that can challenge me and my beliefs.
Pain, back then, made me cower in the dark. Pain used to be my biggest fear, and I used to do my best to avoid pain. However, I realized that avoiding pain is like avoiding life. Because of how I wanted to protect myself, I closed myself off to people and opportunities. I used to tell myself that “this will end badly”, or “this is going to hurt in the end”. I always focused on how much pain I might endure in the end that I forgot to enjoy the process.
It’s inevitable, you see? Endings, most of the time, may hurt. It’s natural for us to grow attached to someone or something, and their disappearance might bring us a lot of pain. However, one should always remember that the pain is a reminder of how close you became, how many memories you had. If it wasn’t for pain, life would be pointless. If it wasn’t for pain, we would be nothing.
Cancelled vacations, parties, events, meetings and appointments might be the ingredients of someone’s anxiousness. I just recently published a blog titled ‘Ways to Lessen Anxiety During Quarantine’ I hope it could everyone to lessen their worries in these trying times. Here is the link: https://photographsbycess.wordpress.com/2020/07/05/ways-to-lessen-anxiety-during-quarantine/