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To the Girl Who’s Never Experienced Valentine’s Day with a Special Someone

You're looking too far beyond the fence.
Warner Bros. Pictures

Over the years, we've been pressured to find someone to spend Valentine's Day with. It's always this constant quest of looking for that person we can say is special enough to be with on a day of romance. But what does it even mean, to have a special someone? What does it mean to be with that person on February 14?

We use up all our cards to search for that person we can call ours to give ourselves the satisfaction and assurance that we're part of the celebration. Without that person, we feel incomplete and isolated. Without someone to be with, we consider ourselves alone and unloved.

Should this be the way we look at Valentine’s Day? If yes, then why? If not, then how?

No, this is not a letter from and for the bitter. This is for you—the girl who thinks she's not enough to be loved; the girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve happiness on this supposed day of romance. This is for the girl who constantly changes herself in an attempt to be a step closer to finding her special someone. You've never experienced that jolt of electricity run down your spine, much like how kilig feels like, on Valentine's Day. You've never been able to intertwine your hands in someone else's. You've never been able to look into a person's eyes and know for sure, it's the future you see in it. But take a step back and think—maybe you have.

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This is for you—the girl who thinks she's not enough to be loved; the girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve happiness on this supposed day of romance.

Special is a subjective term, and when you pin it down next to “someone”, there are just about endless meanings a person can put into it. The same thing goes for Valentine's Day. This celebration does not limit us to just the romantic kind of love. We have to block this notion that confines us to just one form of love. You're single, alone, and miserable—or so you think. So what? That does not mean that you are not loved. That does not mean that you don't have a special someone in your life.

We can pity ourselves and be bitter about being on our own as much as we want, but we have to stop idealizing that days such as February 14 are only meant for those in a romantic relationship. Did you take that step back? Did you see how many constants you have in your life? Perhaps they've never provided you with that jolt of electricity, but they have, in some ways, given you tingles of joy. Not all of them intertwined their fingers with yours, because some offered arms to wrap around you. You may not have seen your future in their eyes because what mattered was the present you're in.

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Your friends, your family—they are those who make up your special someone. Some say pathetic, others sweet, but it is undeniable that they are people you can count on at any minute of any day. Just because you haven't experienced Valentine's Day romantically doesn't mean that you haven't actually spent it with someone special. We sensationalize romantic love so much that we often forget the love that's been there all along.

Being with someone special doesn't always have to be big and grand. You are looking too far beyond the fence. Sometimes, it's just being with people who consider you their special someone, too. It's being with people who appreciate you, those who you can share love with in all its types. They are people you can be happy with. They are your special someone.

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About the author
Arra Bayan
Candymag.com Correspondent
Your free-spirited #hugot animal. I am an adrenaline junkie who is always on the look-out for adventure. I live by the three Fs: Food, fitness, and fun!
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