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To The Girl Who's Been Bullied On Social Media

Just because you're not being shoved in a locker, I know how suffocating all this can get anyway.
IMAGE Bottom Line Entertainment ART Clare Magno

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you're having a really good day, and then—out of nowhere—you remember a really terrible thing you were doing such a good job of ignoring until that very moment, and  suddenly the air in the room changes, breathing becomes a little more difficult, and a veil of hopelessness just drops on you, and no matter how hard you try to pry it off, the universe has already seemed to officiate a marriage between your mood and misery?

Well if that's what happens to most people every once in a while, that's how a victim of cyberbullying feels every day.

You see, being harassed online is a lot like being haunted; even when you think you're safe, in the back of your mind, you know you can never really escape the way it's always just lurking around the corner.

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"Just close the tab," people will tell you, rolling their eyes like the solution was just so obvious and I can't believe you didn't think of that on your own!

But this is what you don't understand. Even once the window's been shut, the unbearably tight atmosphere of hatred still leaves it's trace, and their cold and icy words inspire goosebumps on even the thickest skin.

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You may no longer see the glare of your device baring its angry and hateful messages, but it sticks to your mind like a psychological parasite that has deemed your self-esteem as the perfect weakened host. And besides, a pause in the presence of physical proof does not discount the way cyberbullying can and will break you mentally.

"Turn off your gadget," they might tell you with a bored and obvious stare. "If someone was talking trash about me online, I would just ignore it."

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But you of all people would know how that is much easier said than done. Turning a blind eye to one insult may be doable, but waking up to 10+ comments about how many pounds you've put on or how annoying someone thinks you are or how people see you as such a dirty flirt or how much better everything would be if you just ended your existence completely? Yeah. Realizing that someone could think such horrible thoughts about you to the point that they actually set aside time to aid in deteriorating your self-worth is not exactly the easiest thing to brush off.

So I'm sorry.

To the girl who is getting bullied on social media—I am sorry.

I am sorry society preaches about helping those in need and reaching out to the fallen, but your issues are walked over and set aside simply because your pain comes in the form of an artificially-lighted screen and a string of computerized fonts.

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I am sorry people have the audacity to act like you're being over-emotional or dramatic for turning it into a problem—an inbox, feed, or wall full of hatred, disrespect, and vulgarity that diminishes your worth to a single tweet, all of 140 characters.

I am sorry that in a place so concerned about how many likes you get, there is so little love left to receive.

But listen to me. No matter what happens, you will it make it out of this.

No matter how impossible and and unimaginable it may seem, I swear to you that with faith, a promise to develop your self-worth, the decision to focus only on positivity, kindness from the right people, and an overflowing amount of willpower to keep going, you will not only survive this but you will learn how to live happily and more empowered after.

I know you may not see it now, but one day you will realize that all this is just part of a personality-shaping process that will later benefit you in a way that will make all this agony worth it.

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Because like what every internet browser has taught us, opening a new window always comes with the promise of a new blank and beautifully unpredictable page.

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About the author
Frances Beltran
Candymag.com Correspondent
Frances is a 15-year-old student from Saint Pedro College. If she's not writing stories, DIY-ing crafts and accessories, styling both herself and friends, binge watching TV shows, acting or singing on a stage, then you'll probably find her obsessing over her meticulously assembled Instagram captions or attempting to achieve the perfect flat lay.
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Nicole Caluag 11 hours ago

5 Mystery-Thriller Novels to Read

If you’re stuck at home and out of Netflix shows to binge-watch, then you might want to try and read these mystery-thriller books to match your homemade Dalgona Coffee.

1. The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

The debut novel, and Goodreads Choice Awards Best Mystery & Thriller of 2019, follows Alicia Berenson, a well-known painter married to an esteemed fashion photographer. Life seemed perfect for Alicia, until one evening when she shot her husband five times, and… never spoke again.

2. Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

From the author of Final Girls comes this page turning novel about an infamous building in Manhattan called the Bartholomew. After stumbling upon an ad to become an apartment sitter, Jules Larsen has set out to look after apartment 12A under strict and somewhat odd conditions. Not long after stepping foot in the building, Jules has been met with unfriendly tenants, eerie noises in the apartment unit, and an abrupt departure of a fellow sitter named Ingrid.

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3. The Sun Down Motel by Simone St. James

If you loved Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho or David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, then this book is for you. After the disappearance of her Aunt Vivian while working as a night-shift clerk at the Sun Down Motel in 1982, Carly has set off to Fell NY, to work the same job at the same place as her Aunt had 35 years ago – with hopes of uncovering the truth lurking behind the Motel walls.

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4. Verity by Colleen Hoover

While known for Young-Adult Novels such as Slammed and Maybe Someday, Colleen Hoover offers readers a romantic thriller about Lowen Ashleigh, a struggling author who was given the opportunity to finish the three remaining novels of a successful series after its original author, Verity Crawford, suffered an accident and has become immobile. After receiving an invite at the Crawford manor to sort through Verity’s notes, Lowen discovers an unpublished autobiography revealing the truth about Verity. With the eerie atmosphere of having Verity confined in her own home, and who is seemingly aware of her surroundings, Lowen is certain Verity is not what she appears to be.

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5. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

A mind-bending science fiction thriller from the best-selling author of Wayward Pines – Dark Matter is packed with the concept of the Multiverse and the philosophy of existentialism. The novel follows an ordinary Physics professor, Jason Dessen, who was looking forward to dinner with his family while walking the streets of Chicago. The next thing he knew, he was being held at gunpoint – by a man wearing a mask – and injected with an unknown drug and blacks out. When he regains consciousness, he learns that the world he woke up to was different from the world he knew.

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Here's a poem I wrote a while back reflecting on what it's like over-rationalize a simple thing like crushing on a dude -- hence, the title "Scientific Method"

Scientific Method

You were a phenomenon I cannot wrap my head around

When I first met you, my heart forgot to make its signature sound

And it's overwhelming, your presence;

And underwhelming, so science will be the only language I'll hide in-- For now.

Observation--

At first glance, I notice your top button unbuttoned,

and your shirt fully cotton

Complete with a smile as nervous as me

And a swagger in your step only I can see

Further on, I find your wit to be at a pace

That doesn't leave any space for tension to rise

and it's all too nice

And ridiculous and a bit too suspicious

That this isn't another (well,) circus.

Hypothesis--

Now, let's take a wild guess,

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Oh, but it has to be smart, yes,

That this could lead to something with potential

That this isn't another differential easily solved

With a formula, tried and tested but never evolved

Experiment--

For so long, we've both been independent of any dependent

Keeping our variables fixed and ourselves distracted

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With anything, everything,

But not a single thing

Could stop me from pushing this blindly to find its threshold,

Hoping that it's a quantity my hands could still hold

Over hours, days, and weeks

Through minor revisions and tweaks

Then comes the analysis -- that these weren't accidents

So, now I find myself in a conundrum

With the anomaly in a blue shirt right in front of me,

That this had to be processed logically,

But the findings are as follows:

None of which were shallow, so I therefore conclude that it's true,

I therefore conclude that it's you.

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Ancilla Diamante 12 hours ago

Mi Luna: The Light in My Dark Soul Locked in… Alone…

Why do I feel comforted by darkness? Oh cause maybe because… I am a jolly and very enthusiast kid back then. All I know is to have fun, laugh and play. But as I grow older, everything has changed, a lot. I can feel the changes. I know the more I get older, I’m turning to something I’m not. You know what, I just realized I like it even more. And that’s how I turned a monster. A monster to my own self. Always questioning life and even God about the things that are happening with my life. “Do I deserve this?”. Every day was a struggle. “Which mask should I wear now?”. And every night is my judgement time. “Should I still continue with my miserable life?”. This certainly sum up my whole life. I have this mindset since I was young. I can say that my experiences made me like this. I always want to escape, but every time I tried to pick up myself up, there is always shits that pulls me down. And there, I get tired. Hoping that no one would ever see this. As I despise myself as well. What I can do now is to just embraced everything, I just embraced darkness- reflecting my own self.

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“Look at the moon, it can shine alone and it can give us light at night.” A line I was keeping in my mind that a friend of mine helps me realize things and been there to fix my path. And there I started seeking for my moon but I do not know which part should I start. As days passed, I started to open up myself. I started to act as what truly inside me. It is very hard at first and there is this time that even the situation got worst. But as I continue exploring with my life, a question pop out on my head “Why did I still get this far?”, I can say that maybe I should do this, maybe I really can do this but it is myself who is holding me back because I’m afraid.

Now as far as I am trying to revive my soul, there I know that many people care. Yes, I learned to open up but not to all, on different situations there are people who can understand me because they have the same situation as I am. I learn to open up as long as they did not force me. I learned to navigate and open up for whom I trusted and at the same time when I am ready. The light that I am seeking is my own understanding and acceptance about myself. My light is myself and I am Mi Luna. So it is not too late to save myself. I have thought that, I should be a survivor and winner. That I should also be the ruler of my own mind and soul. Eliminate the room for darkness and let the light shine through you, that I can say how I earned myself again. Mi Luna’s darkness have turned to spotlight.

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