To the Girl Who's Always Too Hard on Herself

It's time for some real talk!
by Katherine Tsang   |  Jan 15, 2017
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First of all, I am sorry.

I am sorry that you think yourself unworthy of other people's time and attention, often apologizing for every little thing that you shouldn't have to apologize for. For saying "sorry" whenever you ask questions, or even when other people express concern for you.

I am sorry that you've experienced something that makes you deathly afraid of disappointing others. Overthinking is your vice. You've beaten yourself up over every little detail to make sure that you get everything right, to make sure your words don't offend anyone because you yourself have been there and know how bad and hurtful that could be.

I am sorry that you've been unfairly blamed in the past. You've begun to feel that everything bad is your fault, through no fault of your own. You are your harshest critic, and so, you work twice as hard as other people, and carry others' weight even if you know that the effort you put in for them won't always come back to you.  


Now, it's time for you to stop apologizing, and start seeing yourself for who you really are.

You are one of the most sensitive and thoughtful people out there. Always two steps ahead, thinking of the other person before they even start thinking of themselves. You have the rare ability to empathize with other people, to put yourself in their shoes and see things through their eyes. In all honesty, that is such an amazing thing. You work harder than other people—always giving 110% to everything you do because you absolutely hate disappointing other people as well as yourself. You have the ability to get anything and everything done. You set sky high expectations for yourself so that even if you miss the target, you're always in a place better than where you first started. You never settle for mediocrity. You always strive for greatness because you are capable of it.  You don't hesitate to take responsibility. In a world where people point fingers and blame others to escape punishment, you take it upon yourself to be the bearer of that pressure.

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But believe me, you are an amazing human being.

You were born to care, and that's a good thing. Very few people in this day and age think of other people as much as you do. But the problem is, who's taking care of you, if you're too busy taking care of other people?

I worry that you're not giving yourself enough space to breathe, to relax, and to grow—that you're spreading yourself too thinly until there's none of you left around for yourself. I worry that you beating yourself up over the smallest things will make you numb to the sensation until you lose all confidence in yourself, until you've gotten so used to the taste of blame from yourself and from others that you know nothing else. I worry that you, who never allows yourself to make mistakes, will deprive yourself of the learning experiences that come with them. I worry that all these has dwindled your confidence in yourself. You have the best and the purest intentions, but remember that you shouldn't put others on a pedestal, and yourself on the ground beneath their feet. You are just as deserving of the love and effort that you give other people.


Because if you aren't going to love and respect yourself first, who will?

So here is to you—the girl who's always too hard on herself. To the girl who thinks she's not worth anyone's two cents. But the truth is, you are worth it. Worth every little second of anyone's love, time, and effort, and you should never think otherwise.

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