To The Girl Who Just Had Her Heart Broken
It may have seemed as if forever actually existed with him. Maybe you already made future plans in your head, imagined how your wedding would look like, or how two to three years from now, you'd be celebrating your something-anniversary. Love. Four simple letters that are not to be taken lightly. It makes you feel so much bliss and euphoria. Yet no matter how much joy love can bring, it can also be lethal because of that one other word: goodbye. Breakups are excruciating, no matter how long or short the relationship lasted, how much time you've spent together, or how dearly you wanted to be with him. It may seem as if your world is crumbling, that there's nothing else to do but cry and let everything out.
That's okay. You should be letting it all out because if you keep it inside, it will only hurt more.
But you should know that breakups are not always such a negative thing. Think back on all the troubles you've had in your life. You faced them head-on with a conviction so strong that you conquered them. Just like that, breakups make us stronger. It reminds you that your heart is still beating; it is still fighting. Change hurts but it has to happen.
If there's one thing that breakups have taught us, it's that life still goes on. Not everything that hurts us is meant to destroy us. Letting go isn't just about saying goodbye, it's also about embracing a new part of your life, welcoming new changes and discoveries and experiences. Instead of fearing the unknown, open your arms wide and gladly welcome it. Uncertainty may seem terrifying but then it always brings pleasant surprises. Everything in your life happens unexpectedly but they occur for a reason. Recall the first time you met your boyfriend, you didn't know back then what would happen between the two of you, but then you let him enter your life and I'm sure that brought along sweet memories. Now that that's over, it's time to embrace once more the unknown–you never know what new things it will bring you.
This time is important because you lean on the people you call friends, your bond becomes stronger with each one of them. You'll find out who the real gems are, the ones who will stick by your side and will always be there to lend you their whole arm and chest in lieu of a pillow when you need a good cry. They'll be the ones who will force you to come out of that tight ball you've become and breathe the fresh, open air once again. The ones who will make you realize that you don't need a boy to feel complete. They will wake you up with good morning text messages; the ones who will ask how you're doing and would make you feel better if you aren't feeling so well.
Exploring doesn't hurt. Now that you have more free time in your hands, you could use it to try something new or explore new cities and horizons. Go out there and enjoy being by yourself. Treat yourself to that coffee shop hopping date. Go around that museum that you've always wanted to visit. Take that calligraphy or yoga class that you've been eyeing. You finally have the time to do whatever you want—use it! Celebrate this season of you being with yourself because times like these are rare. When you're in the process of healing, it's good to be around friends but it's also better if you save time for yourself to heal your own wounds.
The best thing about a breakup is accepting the fact that some things aren't really meant to be. We can't always be in control of what happens in our life but that doesn't mean we're going to give up. Life is tough but you're tougher, whatever happens, you know that you can get through it. They say that when one door closes, another opens. Don't be afraid to enter that new door. It doesn't matter if you take baby steps or large strides, what matters is that you are ready to once again show the world that you can be hurt but never broken. Someday, you will thank that boy who broke your heart because although he may have hurt you, he shook you up and made you realize that there is a bigger world out there that you haven't discovered yet.