To My High School Crush Who Didn't Feel The Same Way For Me
You were definitely not like pizza I had delievered—because I didn't expect you. I know, what a lame pick-up line, but I guess that's just one of the changes that happened to me because of you. My high school life suddenly became extraordinarily quirky and colorful from the very day you mushroomed into my hypothalamus. You gave me tummy-tumbling feelings and made me so kilig that being a girl felt so real at last.
Going to school was three times more exciting because of my eagerness to catch a glimpse of you. Despite my half-awake-half-asleep state, I'd always end up being energized because of that feeling you unknowingly made me experience every time we crossed paths—along the corridors, behind the library's shelves, in the auditorium. We've had all those moments, with me, Miss Invisible always aware, and you, Mister Everyone-Knows-You, completely clueless.
I know that you know that almost everyone in the campus loves you. Undoubtedly, you're the epitome of the ideal guy. Sometimes I hated that, because I knew a lot of girls marveled at you. They would use any excuse to be at any school gathering where you'd be present so they can shake your hand or even get a photo with you. The lucky ones would revel in moment, while those who didn't get the chance to do the same wish they were as fortunate. I despised the fact that you were never going to notice me in a different way, because you'd always think that I was just one of your fangirls—a group of people who only admires you because you're good-looking and athletic, irresistibly-out-of-my-league kind of cute and smart, and the list goes on. But those girls always forgot about something else, something more, and something worth really admiring.
I was there when the stars left you, when everything else went dim and sad and blue. Everyone else went on an aimless search for another guy who's popular, maybe even more than you. Yet I stayed and liked you still, because I gradually got caught by the real gems inside you—your personality, your character, your attitude. Your plain you-ness.
But yes, as expected, you never really noticed me. Eventually, I discovered you were pining for another girl. I kept telling myself that it's okay. But in reality, it was as if my favorite fairy tale vanished even before I got my Happy Ending.
Whenever I look back to everything that happened, I still consider myself honored to become a part of your life, even if I you didn't really see me. Maybe I was just a small portion in your heart, but at least I occupied a part. Giggles for those times I remember fixing my hair more than six times, conscious of what style you might like and for the times I daydreamed about the both of us—portraying major roles in a grand school play and sooner or later fall in love with each other, for real.
I hope you are now happy with the girl, who I hope really gives you genuine joy.
Before I formally end this, let me a share a part from a poem I wrote (dedicated to you!) to show my gratitude.
There'll be a perfect setting, like those in romance novels
When the two people meet in the middle of scattered seashells
Maybe now, I just don't get you
But in the perfect time, you'll get me, too.
Jelou O. Galang blogs at ajelouishnarration.tumblr.com.