I'm Tired Of My Friends Telling Me Who I Can Or Cannot Date

If it feels like your social circle is putting a certain pressure on you and your dating life, here are some things to take note of.
by Mylene Mendoza   |  Feb 5, 2020
Image: pexels.com
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Nothing brings the barkada closer together than a night of sharing updates about everyone’s lives over some tea (the kind you spill, not drink ;). You open up about the person you’re currently interested in, maybe share a couple of love probs you’re currently encountering... Your friends would then share some friendly dating advice which you kind of already knew, but just refused to acknowledge.

Some friends, however, take it a step too far without us even noticing it. They’d subtly instruct us not to entertain a certain person and give us a lot of reasons why we shouldn’t, followed by warnings like, "Pag reply-an mo 'yan, di na talaga kita kakausapin." Some would go too far and spread false info about that person and make them look bad to you. Or worse, they’d be badmouthing you behind your back to the person you like, just because they don’t approve of the two of you being together. Some, if not most, of these kinds of friends are only looking out for you (I mean, if the person you’re trying to date is toxic AF, it’s best to just listen to them). Others, however, might already be crossing the line. If it feels like your social circle is putting a certain pressure on you and your dating life, here are some things to take note of:

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Some friends are vocal about their opinions because they’re looking out for you.

It’s practically a default for us to confide in friends and ask for dating advice. That’s how much we trust the circle we choose to associate with. It comes naturally for them to voice out their thoughts about the person you intend on dating, especially if they’re real friends who genuinely care about you. Oftentimes, friends would see red flags in a person that aren’t as noticeable for you because you’re too absorbed in the relationship (which isn’t a crime, but TYG for friends who look out for us!).

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There’s a fine line between offering constructive advice and downright dictating who you can or cannot be romantically involved with.

But still, there’s a difference between helpful insights and uncalled-for side comments. Sometimes, other friends might just feel intimidated by the fact that you have a booming, albeit complicated, dating life, so they try to sabotage it by negatively influencing your choices. While you’re trying to see if your dating life has potential, maybe it’s also the best time to think about whether you’re keeping healthy company around you.

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You’re allowed to date whoever you want, as long as you know that you are responsible for the decisions you make.

How much say do your friends really have when it comes to your love life? TBH, desisyon mo ‘yan. You’re the one committing to a relationship, not your friends, which means you’re also the one responsible for any decisions made about your relationship.

Whether or not your decision was influenced by what your friends said, it was still your call to make in the end. And while relationships are matters closer to the heart, it’s still just as ideal to put considerable thought into it.

REAX!
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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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