All friendships go through ups and downs, but not all are able to survive the turbulence. And hey, sometimes, that's okay. The universe drops us little hints here and there to tell us when it's time to move on from the irreparable, because there's really no use in trying to mend what refuses to be fixed. If you've been arguing constantly with a buddy and are no longer able to find a common ground, or if you've been harboring an unhealthy "frenemy" relationship with one of your kabarkadas, then maybe it's time to let that toxicity out of your life. After all, you know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a fool about it."
But don't get us wrong. Walking away when things get tough doesn't apply to all peer problems. In fact, the more conflict a friendship experiences, the more concrete it gets in the long run. And although there are times when it's acceptable to forgo a certain relationship when picking your battles, there are also times when you have to choose them despite how messy the situation seems. Why? Because depending on the person, no matter how much your buddy makes your head heat up, like Olaf said, some people are worth melting for.
Can't decipher who's worthy enough to thaw your cold shoulder? Don't sweat it, we've got you.
- The one who rejects peer pressure.
If you've ever been in a situation where a large group of people have tried to ruin your reputation, then you know how difficult it is to know one truth, but have everyone else believe another. And it's even more frustrating to watch as people who you thought were your friends gradually slink on over to the side where they stand against you. It's a terrible feeling, but if you're lucky, God might bless you with someone who actively rejects all your enemies' attempts to pull them over to the haters' team as well. You might think to stand by someone is simple. But in reality, keeping a bond with a person disliked by a big group of people is considered a big no-no in most contexts. So if you're in a rough patch with someone who has stuck by you even when they've been told countless times of your imperfections, do them a solid by looking past their flaws as they have done for you long ago.
- The one who awaits you with open arms.
No matter how many friend groups you've been part of, you will always have that one person that you can always come back to when things go south. Being a social butterfly has its perks. You get to meet new people, experience new things, and ultimately, discover a new part of yourself based on the crowd you're currently hanging around with. Maybe last month you were with emo kids—jamming to My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy while donning a copious amount of black in your daily wardrobe. But this month, you've started sitting with the hippie crew, so you've gone from "I hate the world" to "Spread peace and love each other, dude!" Though you may find your sudden personality shifts usual, some people might disagree with the changes and kick you to the curb once you no longer fit their style. This is painful. But thanks to that one constant in your life, you can always be sure that no matter how far you stray, you'll never be too far that your friend won't be able to accept you again. So if you're having a disagreement with a buddy that has never denied you a place in their heart, do them a favor and learn to accept and compromise with their traits as they have done for you countless times before.
- The one who defends you.
A bitter ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is tough, but a bitter ex-friend? The thought on its own is enough to throw anyone into a fit of paranoia for a week. Because, really, how can we blame them? It has been said countless times that best friends are also our worst enemies, and the popularity of the idea does not stem from nothing. I mean, they know everything. Of all people in the world, they have the most potential to ruin us like no one else can because during our jolly days, we gave them that kind of power. So it's always scary when an ex-mate starts trying to tear us apart after a messy buddy breakup. But sometimes, if we're lucky, a friend from the shadows steps up and actively protects our dignity in the face of adversity. It takes a lot of faith and trust to believe one person (aka you) when a lot of people (aka your ex-bestie and their followers) tell them something different, so if you're experiencing difficulties with a friend that fits this category, stand up for fixing your friendship with them because they didn't sit around when people tried to break you.
Do you have all 3 types of friends? What other friendship drama hae you been experiencing lately?