Students Share How They Cope With Being In "LDRs" During The ECQ
It’s been 12 days since the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) started, but for many students, staying put at home began a bit earlier than that due to on-ground class suspensions. Not to be senti but, who would’ve thought that that regular weekday in school would be the last time for a long time that we’d get to hang out with friends, hug our SOs, or attend lessons in our beloved classrooms?
For those who are used to seeing their friends, especially their SOs, on a regular basis, the ECQ is a whole new world. It might not seem like much of a big deal, but it really tests your relationships. Kudos to the couples who are able to pull off LDRs! If there’s anything the quarantine period has shown in terms of our relationships, it’s that distance sucks, pero kakayanin.
How do you handle #loveinthetimeofcorona? Below, we talked to college students about LDR problems, how they cope with it, and what they’ve learned from the experience.
It’s kind of like an LDR.
Not being able to go out means not being able to see your SOs in the flesh, so in a way, it’s kind of like having a long-distance relationship. For Angela Barclay, LDRs are nothing new. “I guess the biggest difference is how often we communicate. My boyfriend and I talk to each other every day, through most of the [social media] platforms (sometimes, all at the same time haha),” she says. “With my previous LDR, because he was a cadet in the military, they barely had a chance to use their phones or call their loved ones.”
Another college student, Mia*, shares, “Actually I’ve been in an LDR for two years now! I know a lot of people say LDRs are hard, and I agree. Though I’m fortunate enough that my case is different—we’re neighbors and family friends! With that, I get to see him the moment he lands and consistently during his stay.”
Despite her experience with LDRs, however, the enhanced community quarantine made things a little different. She adds, “He went home two months earlier than usual, but this time, I didn’t even get to pick him up from the airport.”
*Not her real name
You’re forced to get creative with how you interact.
We live in the digital age where practically anything is possible, so staying connected with one another gets a little easier, faster, and more creative. “When [my boyfriend] wakes up, better believe his messages are full of memes and random screenshots sent by me haha," says Angela. "He really is my best friend and I’m just so happy that I can tell him anything and everything, he’s such a great listener.”
Video calls are how they “see” each other for now. “We video call when we can, one time we even did a home workout together on video call haha! We recently discovered the app called Houseparty,” Angela adds. “It’s an app where you can play multiplayer games like charades, card games, trivia quizzes, and drawing games together while on video!”
For Sofia Jahrling, video calls and social media are also the closest thing to being with her boyfriend. “For Nico and I, we video call every night whenever we are done with our daily routine and family time. We also do workouts together every other day [during the morning] through FaceTime. We communicate throughout the day through Messenger. Besides these, we pray for each other’s safety and well-being every day.”
Nothing beats seeing them in person.
For Mia, it’s a case of so close yet so far. “It’s a struggle knowing that it only takes five minutes and a few steps to see each other yet, there is no certainty of when that can happen again,” She shares. “Now that we’re in the same country, all of a sudden, spending quality time together isn’t our priority anymore. Now it’s more on our health, and our family’s health.”
For Sofia, being physically there with her boyfriend is still the best feeling. “It’s not easy when we only get to communicate through iMessage, Messenger, or video call,” she says. “Nothing beats personal interaction wherein you can be with the person.”
In LDRs, one of the biggest struggles is resolving miscommunication and getting over fights. “I guess in this situation, when couples get into arguments and such, it’s easy to just let go of your phone and let pride take over,” Angela shares. “What I love about my boyfriend though is, yes, we get into tiny arguments, but we make it to a point to talk about how we’re feeling and meet halfway because bottling up emotions, especially in LDRs, can be toxic.”
It teaches you to cherish every moment together even more.
One thing in common about what they’ve all learned from the experience is that, you have to cherish every second together, because who knows when you’ll get to do that again? “If anything, don’t take any day or anything for granted because if I knew the last day was going to be the last before this lockdown started, I would have hugged him longer,” Angela says. “It’s crazy how you start appreciating the simple things when it gets taken away from you.”
It’s the same thing for Sofia, too. “I learned that physical distance should not stop one from showing love and concern for another. When we get to see each other again after the lockdown, I will really keep in mind to cherish every moment, since we don’t know when [something] like this may happen.”
It also helps to have a sense of security in your partner during scary times like now. “During this quarantine, I learned how much ‘certainty’ in your relationship helps during these uncertain times,” Mia opens up. “I personally am the more pessimistic one, as I’ve learned how strong and committed my partner is. Overall, this quarantine allows us to value even more the potential time we will spend together once this pandemic ends.”
How are you coping with not seeing your S.O.? Share your thoughts and tips here!
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Outdoors Danielle Flestado @artdkf | May 1, 2020 "I miss the outside world. The last time I went outside of our house was on my birthday. We just bought coffee across our village and went back home immediately. This painting made me feel that I'm in a field, just appreciating the beauty of God's creation. Can you imagine the green grass and pink flowers?"
When everything around you suddenly turns dark, the first thing we'd prolly do, as humans, is to find and grab anything that is closest and nearest to us. We'll hold onto them for as long as we can, trying to collect ourselves and gather courage to adjust our eyesights to the pitch black environment that's consuming us minute by minute. And then you'd hear nothing. Your sense of hearing would somehow go off after not seeing anything for quite awhile. You'll let loose. Cry. Panic. You'll be exhausted for fighting your way out. Then just when you're about to stop and give up, you're no longer afraid. There's only this deafening silence and pithole of darkness that's gonna eat you up alive. And surprisingly, you'll make a home out of it.
You'll make a home out of the darkness that when a ray of light suddenly hits you, you'll try to avoid it. You'll try to cover your eyes. You'll try to cover your ears from the voices trying to help you get out of it. You'll try to hide because your mind and body will go against your will to come out and live. Because the darkness that used to scare you, now comforts you in a way you thought has helped you survived life. And you'll try to live. Day by day. In the darkness. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing who is with you. You will try to live until the darkness that once surrounds you is now within you. And everyday, it's gonna be a cycle of subtle torture. But let me tell you a secret. The darkness won't make you whole.
You'll be broken. And in those hair-like cracks, the light will stubbornly fight its way through until it warms you up. Until you realize to check the switch and turn it on. Until you allow other people to help you find your way back in the light. Until you realize you're ready to live in light again. There's a light at the end of this long and dreading tunnel. The only question that matters: will you let them in?
I always thought of life, like a bead where each piece makes it worth sewing together with other piece of beads to make a stronger bond and to create a beautiful result. Today, how do we bond well with different people especially this difficult time? As this day challenges us to a new normal, may we continue to bead along positively with our life.