Students Share How They Cope With Being In "LDRs" During The ECQ
It’s been 12 days since the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) started, but for many students, staying put at home began a bit earlier than that due to on-ground class suspensions. Not to be senti but, who would’ve thought that that regular weekday in school would be the last time for a long time that we’d get to hang out with friends, hug our SOs, or attend lessons in our beloved classrooms?
For those who are used to seeing their friends, especially their SOs, on a regular basis, the ECQ is a whole new world. It might not seem like much of a big deal, but it really tests your relationships. Kudos to the couples who are able to pull off LDRs! If there’s anything the quarantine period has shown in terms of our relationships, it’s that distance sucks, pero kakayanin.
How do you handle #loveinthetimeofcorona? Below, we talked to college students about LDR problems, how they cope with it, and what they’ve learned from the experience.
It’s kind of like an LDR.
Not being able to go out means not being able to see your SOs in the flesh, so in a way, it’s kind of like having a long-distance relationship. For Angela Barclay, LDRs are nothing new. “I guess the biggest difference is how often we communicate. My boyfriend and I talk to each other every day, through most of the [social media] platforms (sometimes, all at the same time haha),” she says. “With my previous LDR, because he was a cadet in the military, they barely had a chance to use their phones or call their loved ones.”
Another college student, Mia*, shares, “Actually I’ve been in an LDR for two years now! I know a lot of people say LDRs are hard, and I agree. Though I’m fortunate enough that my case is different—we’re neighbors and family friends! With that, I get to see him the moment he lands and consistently during his stay.”
Despite her experience with LDRs, however, the enhanced community quarantine made things a little different. She adds, “He went home two months earlier than usual, but this time, I didn’t even get to pick him up from the airport.”
*Not her real name
You’re forced to get creative with how you interact.
We live in the digital age where practically anything is possible, so staying connected with one another gets a little easier, faster, and more creative. “When [my boyfriend] wakes up, better believe his messages are full of memes and random screenshots sent by me haha," says Angela. "He really is my best friend and I’m just so happy that I can tell him anything and everything, he’s such a great listener.”
Video calls are how they “see” each other for now. “We video call when we can, one time we even did a home workout together on video call haha! We recently discovered the app called Houseparty,” Angela adds. “It’s an app where you can play multiplayer games like charades, card games, trivia quizzes, and drawing games together while on video!”
For Sofia Jahrling, video calls and social media are also the closest thing to being with her boyfriend. “For Nico and I, we video call every night whenever we are done with our daily routine and family time. We also do workouts together every other day [during the morning] through FaceTime. We communicate throughout the day through Messenger. Besides these, we pray for each other’s safety and well-being every day.”
Nothing beats seeing them in person.
For Mia, it’s a case of so close yet so far. “It’s a struggle knowing that it only takes five minutes and a few steps to see each other yet, there is no certainty of when that can happen again,” She shares. “Now that we’re in the same country, all of a sudden, spending quality time together isn’t our priority anymore. Now it’s more on our health, and our family’s health.”
For Sofia, being physically there with her boyfriend is still the best feeling. “It’s not easy when we only get to communicate through iMessage, Messenger, or video call,” she says. “Nothing beats personal interaction wherein you can be with the person.”
In LDRs, one of the biggest struggles is resolving miscommunication and getting over fights. “I guess in this situation, when couples get into arguments and such, it’s easy to just let go of your phone and let pride take over,” Angela shares. “What I love about my boyfriend though is, yes, we get into tiny arguments, but we make it to a point to talk about how we’re feeling and meet halfway because bottling up emotions, especially in LDRs, can be toxic.”
It teaches you to cherish every moment together even more.
One thing in common about what they’ve all learned from the experience is that, you have to cherish every second together, because who knows when you’ll get to do that again? “If anything, don’t take any day or anything for granted because if I knew the last day was going to be the last before this lockdown started, I would have hugged him longer,” Angela says. “It’s crazy how you start appreciating the simple things when it gets taken away from you.”
It’s the same thing for Sofia, too. “I learned that physical distance should not stop one from showing love and concern for another. When we get to see each other again after the lockdown, I will really keep in mind to cherish every moment, since we don’t know when [something] like this may happen.”
It also helps to have a sense of security in your partner during scary times like now. “During this quarantine, I learned how much ‘certainty’ in your relationship helps during these uncertain times,” Mia opens up. “I personally am the more pessimistic one, as I’ve learned how strong and committed my partner is. Overall, this quarantine allows us to value even more the potential time we will spend together once this pandemic ends.”
How are you coping with not seeing your S.O.? Share your thoughts and tips here!
Candy Bulletin is finally here! If you're an aspiring writer, vlogger, artist, or kahit marami ka lang talagang time, submit your entries here and make your mark in the Candy community! Share your feels, show your skills. Don't worry—we won't judge. ;)
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Bored this quarantine? Ever heard of the #chloetingchallenge? Since you got a lot of time in your hands, why not try Chloe Ting's workouts for free? YES! You heard it right. For FREE!
Aside from the fact that you can do it comfortably inside of your home, it doesn't require any equipment. You just need to be present! If you don't have any yoga mat, you can use a towel instead. For weights you can just use your body weight or water bottles.
Don't worry, based on my personal experience (and for others who already tried it) it's quiet effective. Tho the 2 Weeks Shred is a bit repetitive but some of the programs are not. If you are already curious about Chloe's programs, here's the link: https://www.chloeting.com/program/
This is a drawing and a poem I’ve made for a summer love. Our time together was short-lived but the feelings were not.
On a platform we stand
Faces seen all in a blur
Relentless searching led by a spur
To find someone, to feel something
Aren’t we fools to waste away time?
To look for one man’s treasure
Somewhere as ephemeral, as fragile
As a bond built in crime
But aren’t we just like every weary heart?
Hoping for an oasis
In the midst of the desert
Wanting to quench our thirst
Aren’t we all like frosted windows
Of old and battered houses on winter?
Wishing for the sun to give us warmth
To melt the facade so we can show what the inside is made
Aren’t we maven pretenders?
A Casanova? A Temptress? Who made us this way?
A sly fox? A ruthless hunter?
Let down the walls, It’ll be okay
Rushed for a hug, now no hesitating
Engulfed by a sense of bliss or was it longing? Eyes wide-open,
Stepping on a quicksand I embraced the fall into the deep end
Gazed at you lying there unaware With you, found something rare I swear
Realization dawning as loud as a thunder
As the Beating of your heart put me into a deep slumber
Waking up from this reverie
Truth slapped me back to reality
Two worlds so different, now I see If only I could I’d be anything and anyone you need me to be I’m the ludicrous clown, you see
Thought if I ruin it first I’d be free
From the doubts brought by my own insecurity I was so wrong,
What a tragicomedy Brought by the month of April
We rushed the ticking of clock to May Hands interlocked
Weaved skin to skin on a rainy day But when June came to say hello, all went dark grey
What was once there ceases to exist Like the wilting of a flower
Once so beautiful, so full of life Now turned into dust by death’s kiss
Unbounded joy brought by your presence
Paralleled with the perennial ache of your absence Yearned for and offered seventh heaven
Now the heart weeps for evanescence
A mirage, to be the fair maiden The sorrow to find out I’d end up our own villain
But all’s well for you are but a distant dream Gamaliel, You are, I knew it from the very beginning .
Written by me, the one-shot story
Coffee is about a girl who used to cherish moments with someone in a cafe. Sometimes, a simple drink can leave an imprint on someone's mind. ____________________________________________
It's been a year since my boyfriend and I broke up. I love him and he loves me too but things just didn't worked the way it should be. Now I'm heading at the cafe where we started and ended. I have no choice but to go there after all it was made up of both happy and sad memories. But that's life , right? We can't be happy all the time. Challenges come and hearts can break. But it doesn't just end there.
"One signature coffee , please." I said as I ordered from the cashier.
"What size?" she asked.
"Small." I said.
Then she took my payment and I headed towards the seat near the window. A window seat.... for two. The cafe was surprisingly full tonight unlike the past few days.
Again, I have no choice but to sit on that window seat. It is where we sit often. It is our seat. Our place. There are a lot of couples at the cafe and wow I'm alone. There's a part of me which says you should be happy because he's not the only guy in this world. Another part of me says you're still hurt so don't pretend to be happy. The truth is , I am both happy and sad. I'm happy because we're both free and we can focus more in our careers. But I'm sad because I'm not the other half of his heart anymore. I'm sad because I let him go even though I still love him. I'm sad because I can't see him. I'm sad because I can't share this relaxing coffee shop where we can chill with the aromatic smell of the coffee.
"Small signature coffee?" the waitress said as she serves my coffee.
"Yes. Thank you." I said.
"Since you're a regular customer here, we would like to give you this item for free." the waitress said. She handed me a purple journal with the name of the cafe on it and a pen.
"Oh thanks." I said .
"Enjoy your coffee!" she said.
I took advantage of using the freebies from the cafe. A window seat is also a bonus in inspiring me to write something. While sipping my coffee my brain and my heart began to function smoothly.
And so I wrote: My coffee has been cold lately, I can't feel anything after taking a sip and there's no heat to leave a pain on my lips. And it was a relief. But then, I remember one thing about sipping a cold coffee instead of a hot one: cold coffee doesn't leave you any marks when you sipped it, just like a blunt feeling. But a hot coffee will leave you a remarkable pain from the heat which reminds you that you are alive to feel....
I closed the journal and stared at the window. He was the coffee. The hot coffee. No matter how our breakup hurt me, he left me a mark and a lesson to learn. A hot coffee can be a challenge too or an obstacle. They all made you feel that you are alive. That you can go on with your life. You can still stand up. Love taught me to move forward. He taught me to be stronger. He is love.
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A BROKE FANGIRL/FANBOY
One of the proudest things as a fan is the feeling that you are part of their growing fandom and stardom. From streaming their songs online, watching their music videos, TV guestings, collecting photocards, albums, lightsticks, attending to their concert and fan meetings surely, you're a fan! But there's a problem, MONEY.
It's really heartbreaking when you hear that members of your favorite band are coming and their concert is just around the corner but here you are thinking of how to sell one of your kidneys just to go to their concert (kidding).That no matter how much you try to save, it will never be enough for a ticket because you are only a student who has limited resources or if you're an adult, you have bills to pay. So joining a "team bahay" livestream is your last resort, but sometimes even those links don't work!
Of course if there's team bahay there's also "team airport/ team labas", fans who waits at the airport hoping to see their idols upon their arrival. How we wish we could also attend and be part of it, something like shouting their names, fanchants then cry out of happiness while waving their lightsticks or banners. What a concept isn't?
Hey, cheer up! being broke doesn't make you any less of a fan. Know that there are other ways to support and love them. For sure our idols have the same and equal love to us no matter what "team" we belong (team concert, team airport/labas and team bahay).Maybe for some people, they might think we are being overly dramatic without knowing that for us fans, their existence itself and music saved us and made us happy once in our lives. -Gwy June 16,2020