Why Some Stay In Touch With High School Friends And Others Don’t

Are high school friends forever?
by Mylene Mendoza   |  Aug 7, 2020
Image: INSTAGRAM/theacuaresma, PEXELS.COM Art: Hannah Villafuerte
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High school friends are forever--at least for some. We can't blame you if you've drifted away from your HS barkada. People change and grow apart, and that's okay! But some people stay in touch with high school friends even after graduation and they all have different reasons for doing so. There's no rule that should stop you from staying in touch or cutting ties with friends--it really depends on which stage you currently are in life and whether these relationships affect you positively or negatively. But to further dissect why some people choose to keep their HS friends close even during and after college, we explore a few possible reasons:

Why they stay friends...

They're close--literally.

Unlike in college where students can dorm because they live far away from campus, high school has no such concept. It's not unusual for parents to send their kids to schools nearby, which is why many of your high school classmates are practically your neighbors as well.


Because you live ~kinda~ close to each other, you still somehow have ways to stay connected even when you're already off to college. Soemtimes, you'd catch up with them on a weekend by dropping by their house to talk about all the unbelievable things that happened to you in college and it's one of the habits that keep you close after all these years.

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Your friendship with your HS tropa is low-maintenance.

Some barkadas will need to have constant communication in order to keep the bond alive, and that's okay. But there are also some friend groups who don't need the constant updates and chikahan to stay friends. For these groups, the occasional reunion after a few years will feel like no time has passed at all. You each don't mind that you're all making new sets of friends in college, because deep down you know that your HS friendship will still be there regardless of how many other social bonds you make in college.


You still share the same hobbies and passions.

College will definitely change you, but some things will still remain, and that's okay. New hobbies and advocacies in life may be added to your current list, but you may also have kept the old ones. No one else understands this part of you better than the friend you've shared it with since the beginning, even if they go to a different school now. For Instagram user @minagryffindor, her high school best friend is also her ka-fangirl, so they still constantly talk to each other. "She's not just my bestfriend but also my best buddy in fangirling."

A little distance helped strengthened your HS bond.

It often feels like an almost-breakup when someone asks for space in a relationship, but it might actually be helpful when it comes to friendships. Allowing each other to branch out and try new things without them can help deepen your bond and foster a healthy friendship.


You don't have to go through every single thing with each other, and just because you're not doing things together doesn't mean you aren't as close anymore. The respect you have for each other's boundaries and the support you show for each other's individual growth could help solidify your friendship even more.

Why some don't stay friends...

Constant connection is important for them.

When you each go off to a different college, it may be harder to stay in touch and catch up with each other on a regular basis. Others may find it easy to go for months without communication, but for some people, it's important to have constant connection to maintain the friendship, and that's totally fine, too.We all have different priorities when it comes to the relationships we keep. Instagram user @mmica8 shares, "Mahalaga yung nagkakausap at nagkikita talaga kayo." 

Things just changed.

College is overwhelming, to say the least. It's practically synonymous to the word "change." Your routine changes, your habits change, your personality changes, your likes and dislikes, too. Change is inevitable in practically all aspects of life as soon as you shift to college, especially if you end up going to different ones.


It's the reality you're in now, and for some people, it's just a matter of accepting that, with all the big and small changes that you go through in college, your high school friends might not be able to relate to the adjustments in your life. Instagram user @shem.monday says, "A lot of things has changed. They changed." And it's not exactly a bad thing, but it's also okay if the way they changed is something you don't need in your life right now. 


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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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