8 Signs You're in a Healthy College Relationship, According to Experts
At a glance, it's so easy to compare our relationships to other peoples' IG highlight reel, but as we *hopefully* know by now, happiness isn't determined by social media. Dating in college isn't always picture perfect, no matter how hard you try to "curate" your relationship.
Below, eight signs you're in a relationship that's good for you at this stage of your life:
You are free to express yourself.
It's easy to lose yourself in a relationship when you're always trying to impress someone. In a healthy and open relationship, you are able to express your thoughts, feelings, and aesthetic without fear of being judged or ridiculed. You do you!
Your relationship can co-exist with other aspects of your individual lives.
You won't want to do everything together, and that's okay. You don't even need to have the same exact friends, or share similar interests. What you DO need is mutual respect for each other's schedules, commitments, and priorities. You're still an individual, after all.
"Without healthy boundaries, we allow others to override our own feelings and desires," says John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT in a feature on Psychology Today. "We may get eaten alive by people who are very clear about what they want! The essence of boundaries is differentiating what we want from what others want from us."
Speaking of boundaries...
You respect each other's privacy.
You are both entitled to your privacy: your passwords, your messages, your journal entries, and your pasts. It's one thing to share passwords to subscription services and communal accounts, but know where to draw the line, and remember that it goes both ways.
You don't compete with each other.
You are present in the moment (whether in person or online), and you give each other enough time to talk about your day: the good and the bad. You don't compare to see who has it worse and invalidate the other's experiences.
Your happiness doesn't depend on grand gestures and public declations of love.
Grand gestures are super kilig for birthdays or anniversaries, but not to cover up problems that have been going on for months. Yes, it's nice to see someone throw in some effort, but keep in mind that small, consistent gestures tell more about someone's character over time. "It's best to pay attention to a person's actions and values first before wholeheartedly latching onto their words," advises Dr. Bockarova in a feature on Cosmopolitan, who also says it's important to be on the lookout for someone saying too much, too soon.
"I would tread carefully with someone making extremely grand gestures before they know you," Dr. Bockarova says. "Be cognizant that long-lasting and healthy love takes communication, trust, reliability, and genuine care, which takes time to build."
You are able to cherish moments without posting every detail on social media.
It's totally your decision to post ~content~ as you wish, for as long as it doesn't get in the way of your well-being AND quality time together. Always think of your intentions before posting on social media, and remember to look up and enjoy moments away from your phone, too.
You don't fight about the same things over and over again.
Rough patches are normal in any relationship, but if it's been months and you're back at square one, it might be time to rethink your communication habits and each other's commitment to change. Kung paulit-ulit na lang, there might be a deeper issue at play.
You feel comfortable with whatever level of intimacy you're experiencing together.
Consent isn't just about saying yes or no, it's also HOW you say yes that matters. A healthy relationship means both of you are comfortable with how you express yourselves both physically and verbally, no matter how long it takes. Here's a guide if you find yourself unsure.
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Hi! It's been so long since I planned to post my story in another platform aside from wattpad and now here I am, hoping that my story can be featured here.
My story is entitle "Who Are You," it's a tagalog-english teen fiction story so I hope, those filipinos who visit here can read my story!
WHO ARE YOU: PRELUDE
Sinungaling na ba ako kung sasabihin ko sa inyo ang pangalan ko? Hindi ako sure kung anong sasabihin kong pangalan ko pero may nagsasabi sa aking wag nalang magpakilala sa inyo.
May gusto lang naman akong itanong... Paano kung may makilala ka sa kasalukuyan na nagpapaalala sayo sa nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang nakilala mo sa kasalukuyan ay may tinatago pa lang sikreto na kahit siya mismo ay walang alam pero may kinalaman sa iyong nakaraan? Anong gagawin mo kung ang dalawang ito ay may koneksyon? Anong pipiliin mo? Ang nakilala mo sa nakaraan? O ang nagpakilala bilang ibang tao sa kasalukuyan? Past? Or Present?
There was this guy I dated for a while but things didn't turn out well. I was so into him that one night I can't stop thinking about him, I've decided to send his MOM a message on facebook confessing how much I like her son. I wish it ended there but no. I had to make it so emotional, lengthy and detailed like the drama queen I am. Luckily, it went to message request so I'm hoping she hasn't really read it yet. Up until this day it makes me cringe whenever I think about it but hey, whenever it pops in my mind I make myself laugh too so thank you self for being unbelievably shameless and brave when it comes to love. I may age faster because I have made a lot of cringe-worthy moments that I constantly make faces out of embarrassment just reflecting on my antics but I know I've made more hilarious memories than what ifs and somehow that makes the disappointments feel more like assurances that I have gave it my all and I have lived as honest (maybe a little to honest) as I could. #ItsOnlyNatural #CanBnatural
I've been investing in arts, photography, and writing. I've also got back to reading the other day and I finished reading this amazing book entitled 300 Things I Hope by Iain S. Thomas. It is all about the things the author hopes his readers to do in all aspects of life. So, I decided to make a version of it with all of the things I'm hoping for.
I hope I get to see my friends be successful in life. I hope to make a big mural someday. I hope to be a well-known artist like the artists I look up to. I hope to marry the person I am in love with today. I hope to be a little kinder to myself. I hope to see happiness even in the smallest things. I hope to travel the world. I hope to be a good mother and a wife to my future family. I hope to have my artworks displayed in a gallery or an exhibit. I hope to learn more about creative writing. I hope I won't learn how to get tired and give up my passion. I hope I won't get too hard on myself whenever I don't get the results I've been wanting to see in my works. I hope to love myself more even on the days I hate it the most. I hope to lead and empower women; to be their voice and for them to believe in themselves that they can be the woman they look up to. And when I've reached my limit of these things, I hope I won't get tired of reminding myself that my emotions don't make me weak, hence, makes me stronger. These are some of the things I always hope for. What about you? What are you hoping for?
I started fixing myself this quarantine. I mean, I started trying makeup products. As a teen, I'm on my phone almost every hour of the day, scroll on my social media accounts, especially Instagram, and also Pinterest where you get to see nice and pleasing photography by bunch of amazing and beautiful people from different parts of the world. So I started taking my own as well. I did not know that taking your own photo and try to get an Instagramable one is sooooooooo hard, it's exhausting. I do not have alot of space in my room, and I would definitely not do it outside our house because of Corona Virus, and I don't want to be seen by our neighbors HAHA so I have no choice but to make tiis inside my room.
Out of atleast 25 shots, only 2 are a nice picture. While I'm all sweaty and tired, I am proud of what I could do beyond my comfort zone. And this definitely built my self confidence, (and I secret love the compliments I received from both people I know and don't know) It's not my first time visiting in here, Candy! But I'm new to writing my thoughts and experiences, so bare with me HAHA.
Until next time!