Do you ever just find yourself saying sorry as an automatic response to someone, even if it really wasn’t what you meant to say? Over-apologizing is a habit too many people have gotten used to. We’re all for being humble, but what if saying sorry gets a little too out of hand? Read on if you need reminding that it’s okay to feel sorry, not sorry:
Not saying sorry doesn’t mean you’re being disrespectful.
As with anything, there’s always a proper time to apologize. For some people, the slightest inconvenience they cause someone else (i.e., bothering them for questions, asking them to pass an item, to name a few) would already warrant an apology. Oftentimes, though, we might just be overthinking the situation and end up saying sorry even if it isn’t necessary. We have to realize that not everything needs an apology—there’s nothing wrong with asking a question, making very minor requests, or even saying no to something.
You get used to saying sorry even when you don’t mean it.
When you excessively say sorry, it starts to lose meaning. It just becomes a phrase you routinely say without even thinking about why, which kind of diminishes the essence of saying it.
It affects your self-esteem.
According to therapist Karyn Hall, PhD, over-apologizing affects how you view yourself. You start to believe that everything—even things out of your control—becomes your fault and you start to believe in your capabilities less and less. It leads you to believe that your worth as a person depends on people’s acceptance of you and your apology.
You may be saying sorry even if you mean something entirely different.
We unthinkingly blurt out “sorry” even if we mean something else. For instance, we apologize for inconveniencing someone with a request instead of just saying thank you to them for helping you. The next time it happens, try to replace your apology instead with a positive response like expressing gratitude and appreciation.