Read This If You Can't Help But Compare Yourself to Others

by Melissa Francine Quinal   |  Jun 7, 2017
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How many hours a day do you spend scrolling over your favorite influencer's Instagram then end up trying the new pair of bikini you bought and feeling bad because you feel like you're too fat to be wearing one? And how many times do you look at your fave celebs' selfies then end up taking a selfie of your own, failing to notice how beautiful your eyes are and instead focusing on how big your pores are compared to those girls?

This is what you probably love to do while lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon. You think that comparing yourself and making yourself feel bad about your body or your skin is a good motivation to become better.

Is this what being a better version of ourselves truly mean? Becoming a version of ourselves inspired by someone else?

We mistakenly put models or influencers on a pedestal and let them be the standard of beauty. When we want to improve ourselves, we often want to be like them or to be closely like them.


When we say we want to become a better version of ourselves, we tend to think that everything needs to be worked on. That your hair needs to be curlier or it needs more color, your butt needs to be bigger, your skin needs to be lighter or darker, your lashes or legs need to be longer.

What we fail to see is that to become a better version of ourselves, it doesn't mean we need to become a version which looks like someone else, or we always have to change something about ourselves to become a better version of our own.

You need to see that when your friends leave a comment on your photo saying you are pretty, it is because you are. And if they don't leave comments like that, it doesn't mean you're not. You are beautiful without anyone having to tell you that.

Take a look at that photo again and notice the sparkle in your eyes and see how wonderful that body is accumulated with confidence, and don't you ever let the amount of likes and comments dull those eyes and knock off that posture again.

Wear that bikini. Not because these models endorse bikinis, it doesn't mean that bodies that look like theirs are the only ones who have the right to wear one, or the only ones who look good wearing one. You need to see that bikinis were made not for flat bellies but for everyone who wants to wear them. 

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To become a better version of ourselves, it should mean you need to learn to accept that you are an actual living human person. Your eyes aren't perfectly the same size yet they sparkle. Your hair won't stay in place but it looks good on you wherever those bangs fall. And you need to realize that those people you adore, are actual living human beings too, just like you. Instead of saying they're better versions, say they're different versions because we all are. 

We are equally beautiful even if we aren't totally the same, that pink is beautiful for being pink while blue is also beautiful for being blue.

Wanting a flat stomach or a lighter skin tone is not bad. Just make sure you're doing what makes you feel good and not just because it's what looks good. Don't let yourself be caught up by the standard set by the society, what matters is the standard you set for yourself. A standard that won't require you to be too hard on yourself, a standard relative to your own happiness. Because the true better version of ourselves is the happier and contented version.


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Melissa Francine Quinal Correspondent
Your socially relevant girl next door.
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