Help—The Person I Like Is Taken, What Do I Do?
Liking someone gives you all kinds of kilig, but nothing quite compares to the heart-shattering moment of finding out that that person is already in a relationship with someone else. As much as it sucks, pining over them won’t do you any good, so here are a few suggestions on how to get over that crush:
Out of sight, out of mind.
The duality of man is best demonstrated by two tireless clichés—it’s either you believe that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” or that when something—or in this case, someone—is “out of sight,” they will consequently be “out of mind,” too. In the case of moving on from infatuation, the wisest move is to believe in the philosophy of the latter.
You may or may not be guilty of taking the exact route your crush takes on the way to your morning class or hanging out at the same spot in the cafeteria so you could steal glances and secretly marvel at the ~visual~ that is your crush. Moving on requires you to forego these routines and totally avoid any traces that may remind you of that person.
Don’t check their social media accounts.
Wanting to know how your crush is doing by covertly checking their social media may seem fairly harmless, but truth is, it’s a black hole that you wouldn’t want to get sucked into. You start out by occasionally scrolling through their feeds just to see what they’ve been up to and end up with a heartache after seeing an admittedly cute photo of them with their significant other (S.O.). Plus, you wouldn’t want to risk accidentally viewing their stories or liking a pic they posted way back in 2015, would you? You don’t need to unfriend them, you can simply hit that snooze or mute button for now. (Good thing social media apps have now made it easier to be discreet!)
The person you liked may be a great person, but hey, so are you.
Your crush may be an incredibly amazing person for you to have liked them that much, but don’t sell yourself short. You’ve got your own unique qualities that other people would surely find admirable. Hype yourself up, too! Just because the person you like is already in a relationship does not mean that your dating life is officially over or that you’re not good enough to be in one. Besides, the more you focus on getting to know and improving yourself, the higher the chances are of jiving with someone who really matches your mental and emotional maturity, more than someone you ended up liking because of your proximity to them.
Keep in mind that your crush isn’t “the one.”
You must have initially thought that the person you liked was The One—you’re on the same wavelength, their interests intersect with yours, and you might have even convinced yourself that their quirks aren’t a concern at all because you will learn to love them for who they are. While it may have sounded like such a flawless plan in your head, the sad truth is that he isn’t the one for you. And as heartbreaking as it is, going after someone already in a relationship isn’t the wisest thing to do.
It may not seem like it, but there are a lot of other amazing human beings around you (that are 100 percent available!). Try not to close yourself off and look forward to the equally admirable people you’ll get to meet in the future. In the meantime, try to make amazing memories with your ever-supportive friends, or if you’re ready, go out of your comfort zone and meet new people online and off. One day, you’ll find your boy with luv, too.