Features

Real Talk: I Tried To Make 2019 My Year, But I Failed

Every day-not just every year-is a new chance to get better.
IMAGE unsplash.com

Most New Years start high and hopeful, with us thinking that we’d be accomplishing every goal we had in mind. But almost every year, somewhere along the way, you start to feel down because you sense that you haven’t done ~everything~ to make the past year count as one of your bests. You tried to make it your year, but inevitably fell through.

Failures are meant to be in our lives—not as a threat, but as a lesson and springboard for us to do better. Don’t let your mistakes fool you into thinking that you’ve lost all chances to improve yourself. You are more than your failures. Every day—not just every year—is a new chance to get better. If you feel like the past year was a disappointment, here are some things to think of as the new year enters.

Reflecting is the first step to self-improvement.

“What did I lack?” “Have I accepted my shortcomings and tried to improve them?” “Did I really devote my time and efforts to achieve my goal?”

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Ask yourself these kinds of questions before anything else because you can’t have a fresh start if your past is still haunting you. Look for the loop holes that feel unsatisfied this year and accept and forgive yourself for them. Evaluate your life choices from the past year—be it in the facet of relationships, school, family, or yourself—because how will you know what to write on your resolutions list if you don’t first acknowledge your shortcomings?

CONTINUE READING BELOW
Recommended Videos

Slowly but surely.

The new year is not just about setting goals, it’s about owning that goal. Start by putting your words and ideas into action little by little (aka baby steps!). Begin with small goals that can lead you to those bigger ones. For example, start with a 10 to 30-minute jog around the neighborhood thrice a week until your body adapts and can do much more complicated routines. Or if you are aiming to be more sociable this year, try attending small parties or get-togethers with your friends first.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

A goal shouldn’t always be grand, small victories are still victories. That is also the reason why sometimes we feel like we didn’t do much—because we tend to forget to look at our small achievements in life. Give yourself some credit from time to time, okay?

As Marie Kondo would ask, “Does it spark joy?”

You can’t grow in the same environment that broke you in the first place. We deny the fact that there are people and situations that prohibit our progress and that we need to cut them off in order to move forward. No matter how hard it may seem, letting go of these people or situations could be the best thing we do for ourselves.

Know that failure is inevitable.

What’s more painful than broken promises made by others is breaking the promise you made for yourself this year despite all the instances of trying, all the emotional breakdowns, deprived sleep, heartbreaks, and endless attempts. But know that it is inevitable for us to fail at some phases in our life. The best thing we could do is to learn from it, get back on track, and say "I'm okay with that and I will do better.'' We cannot control what the universe has set for us but what we can control is how we respond to these challenges and how we make it as our motivation to strive.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

If you haven’t achieved something in 2019, that’s alright. What if better opportunities are waiting for us but can’t enter our lives because we are still caught up with our failures from last year and are stuck on things that are not meant for us? In 2020, try to be open to new possibilities, venture out, explore your options. You are free to choose the path you want to take, don't limit yourself into one vision. One failure doesn't mean failure in your next attempts, it means you can try again with a much better comeback! Don't be sad that another unfulfilling year is about to close, put your game face on and show 2020 what you got. *wink*

your REACTION
HEART

5

CUTE

0

OMG

0

YAY

0

/////////////////////////////
COMMENTS. JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW!
Comments
VIEW more ARTICLES ABOUT
About the author
Katrina Golamco
Candy Correspondent
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM Katrina

Candy Bulletin

Welcome!
What're you up to today? Submit your OOTD, fanfic, essay, school project, org event, a pic of your latest hobby, or anything you want to be posted on the Candy Bulletin page!
Reminder: Posts will be subject for approval by the Candy team, and may be shared on our online channels. Plagiarism and copyright infringement are strictly prohibited. Only original work must be submitted.
Hi, you!
*1st 15 seconds will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
or
Upload Video
*For the direct video upload option, only the first 15 seconds of the video will be uploaded
*File size limit (up to 60MB)
Photo
Video
SoundCloud

By submitting your post, you agree to Candymag's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Thank you for submitting your post.
You will be notified via email once your entry has been approved by the Candy team.

Submitted posts will be subject to the approval of the Candy Team.

A few reminders:

  1. Candy Bulletin is an online platform where users can upload original work, personal passion projects, and other forms of self-expression, for the purpose of sharing with the community.
  2. You can upload photos of your curated OOTDs, 15-second videos, essays, poems, and more, as long as the submitted work is original, follows copyright laws, and free of any nudity, pornography, or profanity.
  3. You are encouraged to comment on one another's posts, as long as everyone remains respectful.
Submit Another Post
latest on CandyMag.com
 
x
Share
"Bloodlines are nothing when you don't know how to fulfill your responsibility as a parent."
 
x
Share
For the fellows who are flat-chested and proud (as you should be).
LOAD MORE ARTICLES
Bulletin
A community page where you can share your feels and show your skills! Learn more here
Kathreece Quizon 21 hours ago

Today, I am sharing my mother's story. I wish my mother was a constant in my life, like an angel who guards you to sleep and comes right there when you called. But angels come back home too, in heaven where they always belonged, and my mother went back a little early. My mother died when I was 13 years old. My last memory of my mother: Letting go when you are not yet ready is a very cruel thing that one has to ever experience. It is a sudden wave of total sadness and desperation crashing into your very core.

On the 28th of July 2013, we went to a resort in Bataan for the employees’ getaway. My parents own a 7-11 franchise, and it had always been a tradition to give their store clerks a get-together every year. I remember very well the last breakfast I had with my mother. The Sunday morning sky was clear and sunny, and the sea was calm and tranquil as we ate our breakfast on a cottage under the tall palm trees. She shared with us a strange dream she had the other night. She dreamt about an unknown woman holding an ice pick chasing her down on a dimly lit street, then she woke up just before the woman could grab her arm. We never knew what that dream exactly meant and now, I wished I never knew its meaning. After breakfast, my family and our employees decided to take a swim at the beach. The day was nice. The morning air may be chilly but the sun’s kiss on our skins gave us warmth. It was perfect. Everything is fine and the tides are low which made it very enjoyable to swim. We swam a little farther from the shore and we stopped to the point where the water reached our shoulders. We were talking about the good things in life and reminiscing the good old days. Those are the things that I’ve always loved about my family because I never had a meaningless conversation with them.

A few moments later, we heard a panicking call for help from one of our store clerks. It was Rachel. She was struggling to keep her head above water. She was already drowning but the odd thing was, she was only a few feet away from us. At first, we thought she was just playing around until we felt the sand in our toes dissolving like powder. It felt like as if the seafloor submerged deeper. I remembered sighting the shore and it seemed so close yet very far away. We were all panicking at that time. No one knew how to swim except my mother so without having second thoughts she swam towards Rachel and called out to my father, “Yung mga anak mo! Dalhin mo sa pampang yung mga anak mo!” and I never thought I already heard my mother’s last words to my father. I was paddling like a dog, gasping for air, as I say a little prayer to God to take us all back to safety. I felt my father grabbing our swimsuits, trying to lift our bodies so we can breathe even though he was also struggling to keep himself alive. Once I felt my toes touch the ground, there came a veil of relief that covered my whole body. As soon as my father and my sister made it to the shore we started calling out for help. There were no lifeguards on duty at that time, no personnel, nor guards. I saw my mother already floating in her stomach. We sighted a boat sailing nearby, we waved our hands and called for their attention. They almost ignored us because they cannot comprehend what we were trying to relay but the good thing was a passenger in the boat noticed my mother and Rachel in the water.

My mother’s body was laid on the shore. She was unconscious and her whole body was pale as white. My father performed CPR but my mother couldn’t get the water come out of her mouth because the food she ate earlier got stuck in her throat and blocked the passage. A concerned tourist offered his car to deliver my mom in a nearby health center or a clinic of some sort since the hospital was miles away from the beach and she needs immediate care. My father told us to stay in the hotel room and prepare mom’s belongings so that if she wakes up she has fresh clothes to change into. My sister and I finished packing our things and waited for our father to pick us up from the hotel. I was crying and I couldn’t stop myself because I was afraid to lose my mother. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be if I lose her that day. Moments lasted until we heard a knock on the door and it was my father, crying, and apologizing to us. He hugged me and my sister tightly and saying, “Sorry, anak, sorry hindi na uuwi si mommy, sorry hindi ko nasagip si mommy”. And that was the moment I felt sinking into the ground. I never knew what to feel at first. I was numb because my worries were now actually a reality that I have to live in. I was at shock because I am now one of the kids in those cliche teleseryes who lost a mother at an early age. We went to the health center to settle everything. The clinic was very small and it sure did lack equipment. He told us to stay in the car. I wanted to see my mom, but I know he never wanted us to see her like that. I didn’t know what to feel. I was having high anxiety levels that my stomach is churning and I wanted to vomit. I got off the car and entered the health center to find the restroom. When I was finding my way around, I passed by the emergency room. I saw my mother lying in a foldable bed, lifeless, her hands dangling from the side of the bed, she has violet bruises on her skin, and her body was partially covered with a white towel.

That is when it sunk into me that she’s dead and never coming back. My father asked the others to just commute back to Manila because what we need right now is comfort from our family. The drive back home was one of the most painful memory I had as a kid. My father was in the steering wheel crying his eyes out. We drove from Bataan to Pampanga. We went home to my grandmother’s house, the nearest house that we can call “home” because how are we still going to be “home” without her?

Once we reached Pampanga, we stopped over to the gas station and my father made some calls to our loved ones to tell them that my mother passed away. He then called my aunt to help him arrange for the funeral. We got home and my grandmother hugged us and told us to get some rest. Already tired of crying, I went to sleep for a while. I woke up and for a second, I thought everything that happened the other day was all just a dream. That she was there in Manila, sitting on the couch reading some furniture magazine, waiting for us to go home. But that’s how cruel life is, right? I got up and weirdly, I felt sands in the bed. It was gray, just like the ones on the beach. I thought maybe it was just dirt but it was a fair amount to believe that maybe she visited us before she left. - ?

- The part of how I conquered the grief of her passing is shared in my personal blog. I felt the need to share my story with everyone since she's the woman I look up to. Feel free to visit my personal blog too when you have the time. I love writing my stories. Thank You! link: http://qkathreece.wixsite.com/kathreecequizon/post/breaking-waves

your REACTION
Pick a sticker to view stories by reaction!
/////////////////////////////
CONNECT WITH US