Let Go of Friends Who Can't Be Happy for You

A friend who can't be supportive of your success isn't a true friend.
by Caitlin Anne Young   |  Jun 13, 2017
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Like it or not, we all have to go through growing pains. They're not exactly the most pleasant experiences, but they are essential for our maturity. Unlike movies, growing pains aren't limited to getting your period, shaving your legs for the first time, or your first crush and/or heartbreak. Sometimes they're as simple as realizing who your real friends are—and who are not.

True, we can't thank God enough for our girl friends. What would we do without them? Who else will shop with us? Who else will advise us on boys and remind us of our self-worth? Who else will stay up all night with us, binge-eating junk food, crying through K-Drama, and having heart-to-heart talks on life, the future, and everything else under the sun?

Friendship is like a flower. You need to nurture it for it to be healthy. Sometimes, however, the bud withers.

Maybe you drifted apart when you stopped being classmates. Maybe you realized you had nothing in common anymore. Usually, you can water the flower and save your friendship. But there are times when the flower dies.

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While it's heartbreaking, it's only natural. You need to let go of some people at some point. But we often forget the most painful type of friendship breakup—the one with a friend who was never there for you in the first place.

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But we often forget the most painful type of friendship breakup—the one with a friend who was never there for you in the first place. 

People think friendship is all about guys and sleepovers. Sure, those are some of its perks, but that's not what makes a friendship work. True friendship means love and sacrifice. A real friend is always there for you. Even if she can't be physically present, she still has your back. A true friend has, at some point, supported you, carrying you through your worst times. She's been a light to you when there was nothing but darkness. And hopefully, you've done the same thing for her.

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Yet there are people we encounter in our lives who only pretend to be our friends. We don't always realize it, but their words lack sincerity. They're never really there for you. A toxic comment here, a backhanded compliment there. It's difficult to know when you've encountered a fake friend, especially when she hangs out with you and your real friends all the time. So how can you tell?

First, real friends give good advice. If you have an argument with a family member, for example, they encourage you to be humble enough to apologize and to mend things. A fake friend only tells you to rebel more, ruining your relationship with your family. Another example of a fake friend is someone who always asks for your help. Yet when you need their help, they vanish into thin air.

But perhaps the most telltale sign of fake friendship is someone who can't be happy for your success.

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Say you won an award, published your first book, got featured on TV, etc. A real friend congratulates you and is happy for you. A fake friend, however, makes some offhand remark to undermine you. "Don't you think..." she'll begin, ending it with, "just looking out for you!" Or she'll refuse to acknowledge your success at all.

Soon you'll realize how this 'friend' has put you down numerous times in the past. When this happens, be brave enough to let go. Don't be scared—do it for yourself, before more harm comes your way, because a fake friend only wants what's bad for you. Only real friends wish you good.

Once again, friendship is like a flower. You need to water it to grow, and give it space so it won't wither. However, sometimes you are the flower. And you need to weed out fake friends who are only trying to choke you, lest they stunt your growth. So may you become wiser throughout the years and learn to let go of the people who don't belong in your life. Cherish and nurture your true friends, by all means, and always be there for them. But most importantly, learn how to love and look after yourself.

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What's your take on friendship, CandyGirls? Share this article with your besties, or leave a comment down below!

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Caitlin Anne Young
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