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Lessons in Life That 'Milk and Honey' Taught Me
Thank you, Rupi Kaur!
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Life can sometimes come with a series of downfalls but it will surely come back with new memories that will tell you it's time to start anew.

Milk and Honey is a collection of poems that is about the author's journey of surviving through poetry. Rupi Kaur shared her story with everyone to make them wonder and understand how experience—good or bad—and words give us a whole new perspective in life.

Here are the things I learned and understood when I read each page of this book up until it was time for me to close it. The hurting, the loving, the breaking, and the healing.

The hurting

Every one of us has experienced being hurt by someone we care about. But what we don't know is that there is a kind of hurting that even a "sorry" won't heal. Hurting physically and mentally feels like your body is ready to give up hope and let go of the bad things that happened to you in the past. I know it's not easy when people say that you should be like "this" and "that," they label you based on who and what you are supposed to be in their lives. They silence you because they are afraid of your voice that you yourself became afraid of it, too. Have you ever experienced a woman being hushed by a man when she starts to talk about something important? The hurting of someone can come from abuse; it's not all about the physical abuse but also the mental abuse. Have you ever encountered someone who tried to manipulate you? Or heard someone yelling at a person because they did something wrong? They may be simple acts of anger or frustration but these can make a huge impact on someone's state of mind and can cause a huge effect on their personality. I learned the importance of self-worth and standing up for yourself through this part of the book. Even though people are pushing you down, you have to be strong and fight back those bad memories and experiences you've gone through. The abuse can tear you apart but it will not end you.

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I learned the importance of self-worth and standing up for yourself through this part of the book.

The loving

The first love we've ever felt is from our parents. Unconditional love, they call it. Do you remember your mom talking to you and saying, "You should marry a guy who you would want to be the father of your kids, someone they would admire and look up to"? How amazing would it be to find someone who will make us feel whole again? Every part of you he understands so well that you remembered what your mom or dad said. This isn't what you call your first love but instead it's your first remembrance, remembrance of something so important to you that you held onto it until you met that person who would make you say, "This is worth remembering." You spend so much time with someone and the moment you stay quiet is a language he already knows. That's why he does everything to keep you on your feet whenever you're about to break down. It's a wonderful feeling to have someone out there who knows you so well that even when you're not talking, they already know what's in your head. You don't have to be worried about things being so perfect. It's a matter of finding the right person and falling into the arms of someone who can make you feel safe every time you're with them. I clearly don't know a lot about relationships but all I can say is that when you find someone worth fighting for, be ready for what life's challenges will bring you.

I clearly don't know a lot about relationships but all I can say is that when you find someone worth fighting for, be ready for what life's challenges will bring you.

The breaking

We've all experienced our own kind of heartbreaks. I know it's sad to lose someone who meant so much to you especially if they didn't stay because you were too much for them to carry on with. Imagine being so close to something you have been holding onto for the longest time but whenever you're about to reach out to them, they sting you like hell. You should know the difference between want and need; you badly want that boy but it's certain that you don't need him. The realization of the things that were meant to stay shouldn't have left you in the first place. Funny how it may seem that people come and go into your life but it's the how and why that always stays. When they leave you, always find a way to divert your attention to something that would help you get through it, I know you're shattered and trying to put the pieces back together. Don't rush it, take your time to unravel more of yourself and know more about the things you've learned from your past relationships. Being in a relationship shouldn't make you feel lost but it should make you feel complete even though you're still trying to build yourself.

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I know you're shattered and trying to put the pieces back together. Don't rush it, take your time to unravel more of yourself and know more about the things you've learned from your past relationships.

"I didn't leave because
I stopped loving you
I left because the longer
I stayed the less
I loved myself"

—an excerpt from Milk and Honey

The healing

All of us have felt pain once in our lives. Does it still hurt? Give it time, everything will heal eventually. Loving yourself more is the most wonderful gift you could give to yourself, knowing what you are capable of and understanding and seeing the beauty within you is such an amazing feeling. All of us are fighting our own battles and we each have our unique ways to get through it. If you're feeling lonely right now, that means you're in desperate need of yourself. Try to make time for you, let go of the people that once broke you, let go of the things that remind you of your haunting past, and be brave enough to rise again with a brand new you with a much stronger mind and a much tougher heart. Accept everything about you, your flaws and imperfections inclided. You were designed to be just like that, you're that thunderstorm that makes the people tremble, you are the star that shines at night and most importantly you are that flower who blooms when it's ready.

"if you were born with
the weakness to fail
you were born
with the strength to rise"

—an excerpt from Milk and Honey 

Want to write about a book you absolutely love? Let us know in the comments below!

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Nicka Cassandra Jerao
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