Are you a Netflix tambay? Then you've probably seen Netflix Original films like To All The Boys I've Loved Before and The Kissing Booth which gave us the ships of Lara Jean and Peter K as well as Elle and Noah. Both movies also coincidentally released their sequels this year where new characters that might potentially challenge everyone's fave ships were also introduced: John Ambrose in TATB: P.S. I Still Love You and Marco in The Kissing Booth 2.
If you've seen both movies, then you've probably felt what everyone else is feeling: You're ~slightly~ disappointed that both leading ladies did not end up with the two newcomers who were so much better for them than the initial leads (both John Ambrose and Marco were dreamy AF, talented AF, and had some real emotional connection with them). So what's not clicking, LJ and Elle?
Even in real life, perhaps you're someone who's had similar experiences with our two leading ladies. Some people choose to stick it out with a certain person even though they know someone else who's so much better for them. So why can't some people seem to see the worth of characters like John Ambrose and Marco? Well, perhaps it's because love is more complicated than we thought.
Perhaps, it's because love is more than just going with the ~feelings~ but also about making our own choices, at least according to experts. On whether falling in love is a choice, Amy Hartstein, LCSW, a relationships therapist, shares with Bustle, "I think that the partner needs to be an appropriate match (whatever that means for you) and that there needs to be a good dose of chemistry. After that, it’s a bit of a choice to move forward and decide you want to try and leap into this relationship."
In the same article, matchmaker Bridgette Hall shares, "Falling in love is a feeling, but staying in love is a choice and a commitment. Being in love is fun, romantic and thrilling but maintaining a loving relationship can take a lot of work and compromise. If something little or small goes wrong in a relationship, it is easy to write it off and say that it is over, but love & relationships will always take work."
Sure, Peter and Noah are both dreamy BUT faaar from perfect, especially in their respective relationships. There are some issues to be addressed such as lack of communication, which is vv important in any relationship. But perhaps, LJ and Elle have both made their choices to commit and work things out first with their respective partners before jumping ship and moving on with another guy. And although they may be fictional characters, it's not far off to see people IRL who've made the same choice as Lara Jean and Elle.
Relationships will always pass through bumpy roads, but it's up to both of you to commit and choose to work things out together. But while working your issues out together is important, it's worth noting when a relationship is worth fighting for or when it's time to finally realize that you deserve more than what you're getting from your partner.
Therapist Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. says, "As adults, we need to give ourselves the chance to get to really know a person before making a commitment. Once we have made that commitment, we need to honor it, but if the relationship becomes a portal for negative outbursts, addiction, or abuse, it's time to reevaluate and consider getting help or moving on."
What do you think of Lara Jean's and Elle's dating sitch?
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