Growing up, my dream career changed depending on my current obsession. At four years old, I wanted to become a princess. When I discovered Hannah Montana, I wanted to become a singer. When I realized I had a knack for writing, I wanted to become an author. It seemed like my interests were always changing, but I didn’t think so much of it. One day, I developed a love for watching movies. Then that was it. That’s how I knew that I wanted to become a film director. I was so sure I would spend my entire life telling stories through films.
When college application season came, I didn’t have to think twice about what course I wanted to take—it was film or nothing. In my head, I was going to take Film at UP Diliman, and I would work towards fulfilling that dream. But life had different plans. Long story short, I didn’t pass UP Diliman, so that meant I couldn’t take their film program.
Although I was heartbroken, I thought I could find a way to make it work, as my second choice was Communication Arts at the Ateneo de Manila University, which happened to have an image and sound production track, which was pretty similar to what I wanted to do.
Fast forward to three years later—I ended up taking journalism and public relations instead of production, which was far from the original plan. The person I was in my senior year of high school might take a look at the life I have now and easily conclude that I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. But that’s the beauty of time: it allows you to evolve, and when you evolve, your dreams do, too.
Apparently, it turns out that I’m okay with not being a director. In fact, I don’t know what I want to become when I do graduate. But I’ve made my peace with being uncertain as I try to figure life out. In the meantime, I will continue to find joy and contentment in doing small things I love: exercising, writing, taking videos, reading books, watching films, and daydreaming about the next getaway. One day, I’ll figure out what I want to do, but I’m okay with the fact that it might always constantly change, and I’ll have to keep figuring out what to do from there.
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