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How To Tell The Barkada You Got Back Together With THAT Ex Face-to-Face

You might be rekindling an old relationship, but you also wouldn't want to cut ties with other people in the process.
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So, you and your ex reconnected and you plan to get back together with them. Hey, it happens, and if it’s something you’ve meticulously mulled over and thought long and hard about, then you’re not marupok because of it. Getting back together with an ex is uncharted territory for many and would naturally feel daunting, but it doesn’t seem quite as scary as finding out how your barkada would react to the news. Nonetheless, they’ll know about it eventually, so you might as well get it done with ASAP. Here are some things to note before spilling your relationship tea to friends.

Before telling your friends, ask yourself if this is a decision you won’t regret.

If your barkada absolutely hates your ex, there must be a sound reason behind it. For starters, take into consideration why you two broke up: Were they abusive in the relationship? Was it because they were never supportive of you? If there’s a possibility that your ex hasn’t really learned from their mistakes, maybe you should reconsider your decision altogether. If your breakup was just a case of wrong timing, then perhaps a second chance to make things work wouldn’t hurt.

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It’s best to break the news during a face-to-face convo.

The digital era allows us the privilege of communicating with one another from literally anywhere in the world. That said, this is the kind of news that’s best said in person instead of through text or DM, especially if you’re anticipating negative reactions from friends. Face-to-face conversations give you fewer chances for misinterpretation, and as much as possible, you’d want the people closest to you to understand your choice.

Be realistic with your reason so your friends won’t have a hard time accepting it.

You might be telling the truth when you confess to your friends that, “Wala e, mahal ko pa siya,” but there’s a high chance that they might not see this as enough of a reason to take your ex back. And while it’s true that you’re not obligated to explain yourself, your friends—who have lent a shoulder to cry on every time your ex broke your heart—at least deserve to be reassured that you’re not just setting yourself up to get hurt again. 

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Do you feel that you and your ex have both grown as individuals after spending some time apart and are now ready to give each other a second chance? In that case, maybe telling your friends this might help them get a better grasp of your situation instead.

Expect negative reactions from your friends and be ready to take the brunt.

Your circle of friends might not initially see this as something to celebrate, so prepare your heart for their sad or angry reax.  Regardless of how your friends respond to your relationship update, however, the final verdict is yours to make, so calmly and rationally get that point across as much as possible to avoid unnecessary tampuhan among you and your barkada. You might be rekindling an old relationship, but you also wouldn’t want to cut ties with other people in the process.

Your friends will always have a say in the matter, but this is ultimately your decision and your responsibility.

Your barkada—being the brutally vocal but loving bunch that they are—will surely have strong opinions about your relationship because they ultimately just want what’s best for you. That doesn’t mean, however, that what they say is what you should do. You’re the one involved in the relationship, so getting back with your ex is ultimately your decision. Just keep in mind that every choice comes with a sense of accountability, and getting the occasional third-party relationship advice from people who care about you wouldn’t hurt.

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Mylene Mendoza
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A Simple Learner Who's a Great Pretender

Maybe I'm just a learner, not a weirdo. A learner that knows how to listen and pretend. A simple learner who's a great pretender. Pretending to be slightly dumb enough not to be judged and criticized by those who do not appreciate my existence. We surround ourselves with people who's levels are either beyond or below our intellectual behavior, because as for reality, people may use you either for their success or your downfall. Since then, people tend to judge someone who has an intellect with things they shouldn't be. Making them a criticizer, and most of all, calling them weird.

Honestly, I'm one of this "weirdo" who actually loves to learn things, and for the record, I'm bullied and stressed out for making myself not to learn more and go with the flow to dumbness I had. Have you ever feel being assigned to some task where you know every process to make it easier and faster to finish but turns out to hesitate to voice out because some of your mates put themselves in charge. There are times where I know what to do, what to say, or how to react, but kept myself silent and pretend not to know anything that may help us. Maybe it's a good thing to just go with their ideas and learn from their perspectives, but sometimes you can't control it and says something, and once again called to be a weirdo and let you finish the work by yourself.

It's annoying that you only know one process yet they gave you the whole work and let you finish it by yourself because they insist that "MAGALING KA DIBA?". It's not your fault being an intellectual person, knowing such things that may help you to pursue your dreams, and have the basic knowledge about something. You don't need to know everything, just the basics. And as for those people who do not appreciate your existence, let them be and continue what's the best for you. In some cases, you'll be annoyed by this but most of the time you'll be thankful for it. Not for now but maybe later. Just be yourself either a weirdo, a great pretender, or a simple learner, and always remember to lower your voice and behavior because no one loves that.

Just be a great pretender not to hear any runts and be a good learner that appreciates everything. It's out of nowhere thoughts of mine, but simply I leave you this my favorite life quotation; "Don't introduce yourself, Let your success introduce you"

Jayson Miranda 22 hours ago
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