How To Talk To Your Parents

Everything you need to know to talk to your parents—and get them to listen.
photo by Patrick Martires

If your big dilemma consist of how to get your folks to listen to you, read on! For every situation, there's a specific approach. Here's a guide on how to talk to your parents, whether you're bringing up a touchy issue or an everyday topic.

Talk To Them About Your Day
Start with: "I can't wait to tell you about what happened to me this morning."
Make sure they understand: the amusing details of how your day went, no matter how mundane they may seem. Be interested in their day too by sharing and listening to the seemingly trivial things. Establishing good communication with your parents is a way to build a strong connection. Bear in mind that lack of this is one of the root causes of huge misunderstanding between parents and their teens.
Don't say: " There's nothing to share because there's nothing interesting about my life."


Talk To Them About Your Friends

Start with: "I feel happiest when I'm with..."
Make sure they understand: how your friends help you become a better person. If your parents don't like them, it's important that you highlight your friends' good qualities. When you go out with them, update your parents on your plans so they won't assume you're hiding something. Keep the communication lines open between your folks and your girlfriends, too, so they can get to know each other more.
Don't say: " You're ruining my social life!"

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Talk To Them About Asking For A Higher Allowance
Start with: "The demands at school are starting to drain my pockets."
Make sure they understand: what your daily expenses are so your parents can recognize which activities cause you to spend more. Has an allowance increase become necessary, or did you just run out of money for Friday night gimmicks? Avoid complaining when making your request. Suggest a compromise like volunteering to do more household chores. If they agree to give you a raise, don't forget to thank them.
Don't say:" I'm always broke. You're depriving me of my needs!"


Talk To Them About Getting Low Grades
Start with: "I had a really hard time this quarter..."
Make sure they understand: the real reason for your less-than-stellar report card. Let them know you wanted to achieve more but some subjects were really tough for you. Assure them you'll do better next time by getting help and managing your time well. If your parents have high expectations, explain that grades aren't the only measure of how brilliant a student is.
Don't say:" I don't need high grades. School is so useless anyway!"

Talk To Them About Staying Out Late
Start with: "There's an event I have to attend this weekend..."
Make sure they understand: the nature of the event you're attending. It's normal for parents to be protective, that's why they may get apprehensive when you ask permission to stay out late or to extend your curfew. The best approach is to let them know who you'll be with, what time you'll go home, and who will give you a ride home. It will also help if you ask permission days in advance and not on short notice.
Don't say: "Everyone else is going. I don't want to be stuck inside this house forever!"


Talk To Them About Having A Boyfriend
Start with: "I've known this guy for quite some time and..."
Make sure they understand: that you are mature and responsible enough to enter a relationship. Be truthful about your special friendship with your guy. When asking for their consent, honesty is essential because it builds trust. Tell them you will be careful in every situation because you value their trust. If they say no because you're too young, understand that your parents are only after your best interest.
Don't say: "I'm old enough to decide when to have a boyfriend."

Talk To Them About Starting A Business
Start with: " There's something cool I want to try out and I need your opinion."
Make sure they understand: that you want to improve yourself and learn more. Make it clear to your ‘rents that you did sufficient research and that you made the necessary preparations for your business to be successful. They'll surely be proud of your first-hand attempt at independence!
Don't say: "You're not providing well enough so I want to start my own business."


Talk To Them About Your Hobbies And Interests
Start with: " I inspire a lot of people because I excel in what I'm passionate about."
Make sure they understand: how reaching for your goal boosts your self-esteem. Show your gratitude for their continued support. If, on the other hand, your parents are stopping you from pursuing your passions, admit that you feel pressured because you want to follow your heart but want to gain their approval as well.
Don't say: "You never let me do anything I want - that's why I feel like failure."

Talk To Them About Serious Problems
Start with: "I need your help."
Make sure they understand: how much you need their support. If you've committed a major violation in school, you're being abused, or you think you're pregnant, the guidance of your parents is highly important. They've been through teen life and they have the gift of hindsight. Confess that you made some mistakes and you're willing to start over. Stop them from worrying by picking the right friends and changing you priorities.
Don't say: "This happened to me because you always took me for granted."


The Five Commandments Of Good Dialogue

  1. Pick a good time to talk.
  2. Refrain from talking in an argumentative tone.
  3. Avoid "You never" of "You always" statements.
  4. Pay attention to your nonverbal actions.
  5. Respect begets respect.












About the author
Pia Dedace
Council of Cool 7

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5 Mystery-Thriller Novels to Read

If you’re stuck at home and out of Netflix shows to binge-watch, then you might want to try and read these mystery-thriller books to match your homemade Dalgona Coffee.

1. The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

The debut novel, and Goodreads Choice Awards Best Mystery & Thriller of 2019, follows Alicia Berenson, a well-known painter married to an esteemed fashion photographer. Life seemed perfect for Alicia, until one evening when she shot her husband five times, and… never spoke again.

2. Lock Every Door by Riley Sager

From the author of Final Girls comes this page turning novel about an infamous building in Manhattan called the Bartholomew. After stumbling upon an ad to become an apartment sitter, Jules Larsen has set out to look after apartment 12A under strict and somewhat odd conditions. Not long after stepping foot in the building, Jules has been met with unfriendly tenants, eerie noises in the apartment unit, and an abrupt departure of a fellow sitter named Ingrid.


3. The Sun Down Motel by Simone St. James

If you loved Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho or David Lynch’s Twin Peaks, then this book is for you. After the disappearance of her Aunt Vivian while working as a night-shift clerk at the Sun Down Motel in 1982, Carly has set off to Fell NY, to work the same job at the same place as her Aunt had 35 years ago – with hopes of uncovering the truth lurking behind the Motel walls.

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4. Verity by Colleen Hoover

While known for Young-Adult Novels such as Slammed and Maybe Someday, Colleen Hoover offers readers a romantic thriller about Lowen Ashleigh, a struggling author who was given the opportunity to finish the three remaining novels of a successful series after its original author, Verity Crawford, suffered an accident and has become immobile. After receiving an invite at the Crawford manor to sort through Verity’s notes, Lowen discovers an unpublished autobiography revealing the truth about Verity. With the eerie atmosphere of having Verity confined in her own home, and who is seemingly aware of her surroundings, Lowen is certain Verity is not what she appears to be.


5. Dark Matter by Blake Crouch

A mind-bending science fiction thriller from the best-selling author of Wayward Pines – Dark Matter is packed with the concept of the Multiverse and the philosophy of existentialism. The novel follows an ordinary Physics professor, Jason Dessen, who was looking forward to dinner with his family while walking the streets of Chicago. The next thing he knew, he was being held at gunpoint – by a man wearing a mask – and injected with an unknown drug and blacks out. When he regains consciousness, he learns that the world he woke up to was different from the world he knew.


Here's a poem I wrote a while back reflecting on what it's like over-rationalize a simple thing like crushing on a dude -- hence, the title "Scientific Method"

Scientific Method

You were a phenomenon I cannot wrap my head around

When I first met you, my heart forgot to make its signature sound

And it's overwhelming, your presence;

And underwhelming, so science will be the only language I'll hide in-- For now.


At first glance, I notice your top button unbuttoned,

and your shirt fully cotton

Complete with a smile as nervous as me

And a swagger in your step only I can see

Further on, I find your wit to be at a pace

That doesn't leave any space for tension to rise

and it's all too nice

And ridiculous and a bit too suspicious

That this isn't another (well,) circus.


Now, let's take a wild guess,


Oh, but it has to be smart, yes,

That this could lead to something with potential

That this isn't another differential easily solved

With a formula, tried and tested but never evolved


For so long, we've both been independent of any dependent

Keeping our variables fixed and ourselves distracted

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With anything, everything,

But not a single thing

Could stop me from pushing this blindly to find its threshold,

Hoping that it's a quantity my hands could still hold

Over hours, days, and weeks

Through minor revisions and tweaks

Then comes the analysis -- that these weren't accidents

So, now I find myself in a conundrum

With the anomaly in a blue shirt right in front of me,

That this had to be processed logically,

But the findings are as follows:

None of which were shallow, so I therefore conclude that it's true,

I therefore conclude that it's you.


Mi Luna: The Light in My Dark Soul Locked in… Alone…

Why do I feel comforted by darkness? Oh cause maybe because… I am a jolly and very enthusiast kid back then. All I know is to have fun, laugh and play. But as I grow older, everything has changed, a lot. I can feel the changes. I know the more I get older, I’m turning to something I’m not. You know what, I just realized I like it even more. And that’s how I turned a monster. A monster to my own self. Always questioning life and even God about the things that are happening with my life. “Do I deserve this?”. Every day was a struggle. “Which mask should I wear now?”. And every night is my judgement time. “Should I still continue with my miserable life?”. This certainly sum up my whole life. I have this mindset since I was young. I can say that my experiences made me like this. I always want to escape, but every time I tried to pick up myself up, there is always shits that pulls me down. And there, I get tired. Hoping that no one would ever see this. As I despise myself as well. What I can do now is to just embraced everything, I just embraced darkness- reflecting my own self.

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“Look at the moon, it can shine alone and it can give us light at night.” A line I was keeping in my mind that a friend of mine helps me realize things and been there to fix my path. And there I started seeking for my moon but I do not know which part should I start. As days passed, I started to open up myself. I started to act as what truly inside me. It is very hard at first and there is this time that even the situation got worst. But as I continue exploring with my life, a question pop out on my head “Why did I still get this far?”, I can say that maybe I should do this, maybe I really can do this but it is myself who is holding me back because I’m afraid.

Now as far as I am trying to revive my soul, there I know that many people care. Yes, I learned to open up but not to all, on different situations there are people who can understand me because they have the same situation as I am. I learn to open up as long as they did not force me. I learned to navigate and open up for whom I trusted and at the same time when I am ready. The light that I am seeking is my own understanding and acceptance about myself. My light is myself and I am Mi Luna. So it is not too late to save myself. I have thought that, I should be a survivor and winner. That I should also be the ruler of my own mind and soul. Eliminate the room for darkness and let the light shine through you, that I can say how I earned myself again. Mi Luna’s darkness have turned to spotlight.


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