How To Spot Fake Friends

"They make you feel excluded in your friend group."
by Mylene Mendoza   |  Jul 26, 2020
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We’ve said it plenty of times before, a handful of our friendships from college—and even high school—will most likely be endgame. Many will remain with you even after you graduate and go your separate ways. But even so, there are some people who make us do a double take at our relationship with them. Sure, you hang out and vibe with each other but you can’t just shake that feeling that it’s not as genuine as you initially perceived. It makes you ask: Are my friends fake?

No relationship is ever perfect and that especially includes friendships. But it’s a totally different story when your “friendship” morphs into something that makes your heart feel heavy. Instead of enjoying your moments together, you end up dreading any sort of interaction with that friend. Or you always put your guard up whenever you’re together.

No matter how long you’ve known them, there’s nothing wrong with cutting ties with people if you feel that their presence in your life takes up space that ends up becoming too heavy to bear. In life, there’s no use wasting our energy on insincere bonds. Below, a few signs to watch out for if you feel like you’ve got shallow friendships:

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They only come to you when they need something.

That one friend who actively chats with people online but would rarely message you, except for times when they suddenly see your worth and feel like striking up a conversation with you, only to end up asking for a simple favor. Friendships shouldn’t be keeping track of who gives and who takes, so you just brush it off. But it’s okay to want an amicable interaction with that person outside of topics that involve you lending a helping hand.

They’re only there during good times, but never during bad times.

Similarly, it’s worth noting to see who among your friends have been there to celebrate the wins with you but have never really been there to support you during hard times. They’ll attend your birthday parties, but are nowhere to be found when you need a shoulder to lean on.


They belittle you under the guise of playful banter.

Friends make you feel better about things, but why is it that when that friend compliments you on something, it ends up sounding weirdly backhanded? Sure, real friends would often feel comfortable teasing each other because you’ll know through the way they deliver their jokes that they ultimately don’t mean anything hurtful. But when it comes to these types of acquaintances, they will almost always resort to playful banter just to deliver passive-aggressive remarks.

They get mad at you for the little things.

Friendships aren’t always smooth-sailing. There will be arguments and misunderstandings, but you ultimately find a way to resolve them because both parties deal with the issue rationally and maturely. But there are some friends who will go the extra mile to use the argument to make you feel awful. They seriously make you feel extra bad when you weren’t able to attend the block hangout. They throw hurtful words at you because you didn’t want to switch seats in class. It’s not just tampo anymore.


They take advantage of your trust.

They will tell you that they will always be there to listen to you whenever you need to vent, and so you run to them to do exactly that. Sooner or later, however, you find out that your heartfelt convo with that person has reached the ears of other parties. If that friend ever offers a listening ear only because they want to catch gossip or find something they can use against you, then maybe they aren’t as dependable as you perceived them to be. 

They only hang out with you for your connections.

Sometimes, you’ll find yourself slowly becoming closer to some people, only to realize that they weren’t actually interested in forming a friendship with you, but with someone you know. Some might only be trying to win your favor because they want to be friends with the people around you.  


They make you feel excluded in your friend group.

Friends who actively make an effort to isolate you from everyone else in your barkada might not have your best interest at heart. They subtly initiate a new group chat with everyone present, except for you, and claim that it’s not a big deal and the purpose of it is totally different.


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Mylene Mendoza
Candy Staff Writer
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