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How to Mend a Broken Friendship

It's time to rebuild bridges that have been burned.
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Having real friends is wonderful. They are always there for you when you're down, correct you when you've made a mistake, and encourage you to reach for your dreams. And like in any type of relationship, there will be misunderstandings—whether it's because of political differences or boy issues. If you are not in good terms with them, now is the time to make amends. Here's how you can rekindle the spark of your friendship:

Give each other some space.

If you and your friend had an exchange of fiery and hurtful words, the best way to handle it is to stay away from each other for a while. Carlin Flora, a friendship expert and author of Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are says you need to understand your friend's situation, "Most of the time you'll be able to fix the problem, but depending on what happened, you also have to be prepared for the possibility that your friend is just too hurt to reconcile."

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Be careful with how you apologize.

It's important to take into consideration what you two fought about. If she got mad at you because you bailed out on her for a guy, then you have to think about the words you'll say. "Otherwise you could find yourself rambling and apologizing for the wrong thing, which could make you feel uncomfortable and throw you off track, thereby worsening the problem," says Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and author of The Friendship Fix. Practice what you'll say and be careful with your choice of words.

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Tell her how you feel...

…and ask about her, too. Just like in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, communication is important because one wrong move can worsen the whole situation. Let's say you two drifted apart, tell her you miss her and try to reconnect by asking her to do things you loved doing together before. But if your 'friend' is still not making an effort to spend time, it's better to call it quits, "If your friend is still MIA after a heart-to-heart, you might need to let her go. Whatever happens, use this as an opportunity to focus on your own personal growth," says clinical psychologist Jill Squyres, Ph.D.

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This story originally appeared on Femalenetwork.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Ana C. Pascual for FemaleNetwork.com
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Katherine Go 2 days ago

Cold Food

The most thrilling and delightful moment of any school day is opening up your baon during breaks. There is always so much excitement in unveiling your homemade meal and snacks housed inside matching heat-insulating containers. Because preparing packed meals is an age-old tradition of showing parental love, loved ones pour effort into curating a nutritious meal accompanied by a selection of side dishes, desserts, and beverages daily; it reminds us that we are being taken care of, even from far away.

Baon plays a significant role in a Filipino childhood. Almost every Filipino child comes to school with baon made especially for them by their parents or household helpers. Even Filipinos in the labor force continue to bring baon for varying reasons: to save money, recycle leftovers, cater to personal taste, or attend to special needs. Nonetheless, eating your baon is a heart-warming experience that allows Filipinos to bring a piece of home along with them wherever they go.

Even other cultures practice making packed lunch. In Japan, mothers create bento--Japanese meals in partitioned boxes. Because of the popularity of bento, trends have emerged, such as the Kyaraben, or character-themed bento. Naturally, Japanese parents and students began competing for who had the cutest and tastiest bento, and this is similar to what I have witnessed in my own childhood. I remember seeing my classmates sharing their snacks and lunches. They would compare and boast about their parents' or yayas’ cooking. In my case, I never had the chance to join in the competition or indulge in homemade cooking. Up until this day, I have never brought any baon to school.

For a long time, I envied others. As trivial or petty as it may seem, not having baon became a problem for my grade school self. During that time, I had to sit in a separate cafeteria away from my friends because the kids who bought food were assigned to sit elsewhere. You could consider me spoiled, but I wanted to experience something most kids did. I had food at home, so what made it so hard to bring some with me to school?

Now that I am on my final year in high school I have come to realize the benefits of purchasing my own food. Since I spent on food everyday, I learned to budget my allowance at a young age. Over the years, I learned to practice self-control whenever I wanted to eat more greasy fries and drink sweetened beverages. I have tasted the strangest viands at the school cafeterias, and I have repeatedly satiated myself over my latest delicious discoveries. Despite the struggles, I am thankful that I have never had baon because of what I have learned. Not to mention, I never had to experience eating cold food.

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