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5 Ways to Have a Better Relationship With Your Dad

What can you do?
IMAGE Yassi Pressman | instagram.com/yassipressman

Growing up, I wasn't very close to my dad. Of my parents, he was the "bad cop," and I was afraid of him. Needless to say, I didn't like his parenting style. My mom told me once that, in retrospect, they should've done it differently; he shouldn't have been the "villain." It's weird for me to remember him that way because we're so close now. He tags me in Facebook posts of cute dogs and he lets me rant when I have a bad day. That's why I also do my best to adjust to the way he is. Ahead are some tips that work for us—maybe they'll work for you and your dad, too:

  1. Let him talk about his past.

I know the last thing you probably want to do is listen to a story that's been repeated 2378684 times in the last couple of decades you've been alive, but suck it up. If he wants to tell you about how he and his barkada used to race cars in the '80s, sit there and take it. He did live a good chunk of his life without you. There are ~so~ many things you don't know. 

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  1. Ask about his day. 

Show a little interest in his life. I think we get too caught up in our own stuff that we forget that our parents aren't just there for when we need financial help. 

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  1.  Talk about your best moments together. 

We had a lot of road trips when I was a kid. And my dad still loves telling the story of when my brother asked if brown cows make chocolate milk. Nostalgia is real, so use it as a way to bond with your dad. Plus, it's a great way to kinda say, "I remember our good times. They mean something to me, too."

  1. Find ways to bond without talking. 

My dad and I are HUGE fans of crime shows and action movies. Whenever I go home, we watch CSI, NCIS, and Law & Order all weekend. Figure out what your bonding activity is and do it as much as possible. 

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Note: FRIENDS is my all-time favorite show and he's watched it with me so many times that he's able to communicate using only FRIENDS quotes. That's love. 

  1. Ask for his advice. 

Even if you don't plan on following some of it! Dads just want to feel like their opinions still matter. And it should. 

This story originally appeared on Cosmo.ph.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Ysa Singson for Cosmo.ph
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Katherine Go A day ago

Cold Food

The most thrilling and delightful moment of any school day is opening up your baon during breaks. There is always so much excitement in unveiling your homemade meal and snacks housed inside matching heat-insulating containers. Because preparing packed meals is an age-old tradition of showing parental love, loved ones pour effort into curating a nutritious meal accompanied by a selection of side dishes, desserts, and beverages daily; it reminds us that we are being taken care of, even from far away.

Baon plays a significant role in a Filipino childhood. Almost every Filipino child comes to school with baon made especially for them by their parents or household helpers. Even Filipinos in the labor force continue to bring baon for varying reasons: to save money, recycle leftovers, cater to personal taste, or attend to special needs. Nonetheless, eating your baon is a heart-warming experience that allows Filipinos to bring a piece of home along with them wherever they go.

Even other cultures practice making packed lunch. In Japan, mothers create bento--Japanese meals in partitioned boxes. Because of the popularity of bento, trends have emerged, such as the Kyaraben, or character-themed bento. Naturally, Japanese parents and students began competing for who had the cutest and tastiest bento, and this is similar to what I have witnessed in my own childhood. I remember seeing my classmates sharing their snacks and lunches. They would compare and boast about their parents' or yayas’ cooking. In my case, I never had the chance to join in the competition or indulge in homemade cooking. Up until this day, I have never brought any baon to school.

For a long time, I envied others. As trivial or petty as it may seem, not having baon became a problem for my grade school self. During that time, I had to sit in a separate cafeteria away from my friends because the kids who bought food were assigned to sit elsewhere. You could consider me spoiled, but I wanted to experience something most kids did. I had food at home, so what made it so hard to bring some with me to school?

Now that I am on my final year in high school I have come to realize the benefits of purchasing my own food. Since I spent on food everyday, I learned to budget my allowance at a young age. Over the years, I learned to practice self-control whenever I wanted to eat more greasy fries and drink sweetened beverages. I have tasted the strangest viands at the school cafeterias, and I have repeatedly satiated myself over my latest delicious discoveries. Despite the struggles, I am thankful that I have never had baon because of what I have learned. Not to mention, I never had to experience eating cold food.

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