How to Decode if a Guy is Flirting, Friendly, or Into You

Heed the signs.
IMAGE Canyon Creek Films

When a guy does something, can you tell whether he's really into you or just toying with your heart? Learn what his moves mean straight from the playbook itself!

THE SIGN: He is quite physically affectionate with you.

BIG FLIRT: He touches you because he thinks it'll draw the two of you closer. Interestingly enough, he also does it with a lot of other girls—yup, even when you're around.

JUST FRIENDLY: He sees you as one of the guys, and as such, is not above giving you the occasional tap on the arm with a closed fist. Guys are also known to shove each other in jest, so keep reminding your friend that you are still a girl.

INTO YOU: He'll be much more gentle and respectful with you. He'll put a hand on your elbow to guide you through traffic or casually drape his arm around your shoulder. An open palm on the upper part of the small of your back in certain situations is also a great indicator that something's up.

THE SIGN: He asks you out to dinner and a movie.

BIG FLIRT: You hear about him asking another girl out to do the same thing the next day.

JUST FRIENDLY: He asks you to come along with some of his other friends. And he doesn't foot the bill.

INTO YOU: He takes care of everything, while making sure that it's just you and him going out. He treats you like royalty for the entirety of the evening.


THE SIGN: He has a sweet nickname for you.

BIG FLIRT: He has a sweet nickname for everybody. And everybody knows he can be a bit, er, chauvinistic at times.

JUST FRIENDLY: He calls you by your special, "secret" nickname…because he heard one of your friends using it and found it amusing.


INTO YOU: He creates a special moniker for you alone, and tells you just how you inspired him to come up with it. He doesn't feel the need to tell everyone else, because he wants that name kept just between you two.


THE SIGN: He keeps calling you on your landline, cell phone, Skype, or whatever voice communication technology happens to be popular at the moment.

BIG FLIRT: He has you on speed dial—along with every other girl in your school, street, or general neighborhood.

JUST FRIENDLY: He calls you to get the scoop on today's homework, or to learn more about the latest gossip. In fact, it's already become something of a daily ritual for the two of you.

INTO YOU: He makes it a point to call you at least once a day, and always wants to know how you are before anything else. In fact, most of the time that's the only reason he calls!

THE SIGN: He keeps commenting on your social media posts.

BIG FLIRT: He's a man of the world, and he pays particular attention to writing of a more personal nature, such as blogs, in order to show how "worldly" and "sensitive" he is—while impressing you in the process, of course. Pay attention to "Wow, you're so galing"—type posts, without further elaboration.

JUST FRIENDLY: He finds your stuff funny, and makes it a point to tease you or say something quasi-witty. We say quasi, because the wit might only be existent in his own world.

INTO YOU: He wants to know the reasons behind whatever you deigned to write at a particular moment. While he finds your writing interesting in itself, he'd like to know more about the name behind the pen (or keyboard).

THE SIGN: He keeps texting you or chatting with you whenever he catches you online.


BIG FLIRT: He's got more than a few hundred friends in his directory, but he doesn't even know most of them that well. He's just hoping someone cute will respond favorably.

JUST FRIENDLY: All of his friends are stuck in classes or out of town. You're someone to talk to, and it will show by the wide range of topics he'll bring up, dominated mostly by his own interests.

INTO YOU: He texts or chats to find out what exactly you are doing or thinking. And when he asks what you're thinking, it's a pretty sure bet that you're very much on his mind.


THE SIGN: He follows you around more than your Shih Tzu does, and sometimes, he will not go somewhere if you're not going.

BIG FLIRT: He's more likely to follow you than to not go to a party without you. He sees you as someone he can show off to other guys, or at least as a key to getting to know other girls. In a party, he can vanish as quickly as he came up to say hello.

JUST FRIENDLY: He may stick to you like glue because he's not comfortable with anyone else in a particular setting. In the same way, he won't  want to go to an open party or any similar event if you won't be there. But once he gets to the party and spots one of his buddies, he's gone.

INTO YOU: He refuses to leave your side because he truly finds you fascinating. Thus, he'll constantly be doing little things to make you more comfortable such as holding your seat or getting you a drink. For this guy, a party is no fun without you there, so he'll suggest something else to do if you can't make it.

THE SIGN: He always compliments you on the way you look or act.


BIG FLIRT: This is a way of buttering you up, and it usually comes naturally to him. The telling sign here is that he compliments girls freely and easily, while other guys get the complete opposite treatment from him.

JUST FRIENDLY: This guy will give you the typically male kind of backhanded  compliment. "Pare and ganda mo ngayon ha! Para kang magde-debut," partnered with the requisite guffaw. However, this could just as easily develop into something more than just "male" bonding.

INTO YOU: He will notice the smallest things about you, like a new pair of earrings or newly trimmed hair (believe us, for guys, these things are small). He will compliment you freely, and it won't be followed by an obnoxious laugh. And most importantly, he can took straight into your eyes when he says it.

This article originally appeared in the December 2009 issue of Candy Magazine.













About the author
Drew Asuncion
Contributing Writer
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