How to Deal with Social Dilemmas
Finding pals for keeps is like the quest for the perfect pair of jeans—difficult and time-consuming, yet totally worth it in the end. In a world where nothing is ever automatically custom-made, you have to learn how to work with the way things are built.
The truth is, when it comes to friends, there is no such thing as the perfect fit. It's really up to you to carry it with style and make the most of any situation.
DILEMMA: I'm not as pretty or as popular!
I wish I looked like her. Why can't I be as confident? What does she have that I don't? Do these questions come to mind when you see your well-liked and pretty pals getting all the attention?
Attractiveness is a state of mind. If you feel it, it shows. Remember: those who compare themselves to others have insecurities about themselves. Get to the root of your mentality by figuring out why you feel inferior to other girls. After that, it's time to work on feeling good about yourself! Only after doing this will you be able to accept who you are and stop measuring your worth by beauty or popularity.
DILEMMA: Everyone gets to go out but me.
Your parents are strict, so you hardly get to go out with your friends, even on weekends. You feel like you’re totally missing out on bonding time with the girls. And when everyone’s rehashing last Saturday’s gimmick, you paste on a fake smile, laughing along to an inside joke you totally don’t get.
First of all, make sure your friends get the big picture: Your parents may be cramping your style, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun or how to be a good friend. Once that’s cleared up, it’ll be easier for your friends to understand your situation. They can help you plan gimmicks your parents approve of.
You can suggest hanging out at your place. And you can learn to make the most of everyday opportunities for bonding, like chilling at school after dismissal. You won’t be there for every gimmick, but you won’t be missing out all the time.