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How To Practice Healthy 'Emotional Distancing' During The Community Quarantine

Dr. Michele Alignay talks about "emotional distancing."
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Now that Filipino families are at home together 24/7 during the community quarantine, clashes in opinions about the COVID-19 situation are coming to light.

What do you do when senior family members insist their opinion is correct, especially when you're young and often being told to "show respect?"

Early this week, celebrity host Bianca Gonzalez held another Instagram Live Kuwentuhan session on her account.

She invited family psychologist Dr. Michele Alignay to give family and couple advice during the time of quarantine.

In their kuwentuhan session, Dr. Alignay introduced the concept of "emotional distancing."

The idea behind this concept is to separate oneself from the tension and allow oneself to recharge away from the problem.

"Parang meron kang safe boundary," she continued.

"Pag medyo napupuno ka na, medyo dumistansiya ka nang konti para hindi ka mapuno nang punong-puno. 'Tapos, recharge ulit.

"'Tapos, pag makikipagtalo sila, kasi alam mo minsan hindi ka mananalo sa kanila, iyon iyong reality doon, e...

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"Huwag ka na pumasok doon sa pagtatalo with the people in the home na alam mo naman na they always have to have the last say on things."

Dr. Alignay also defined emotional distancing as "love from a distance."

She related, "Mahal mo sila, pero hindi puwede sobrang dikit na magkasama kayo 24/7.

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"Kasi alam mo, minsan, pareho lang naman iyong goal, magkaiba lang iyong ways. They want to do things their way...

"Kung sobrang — to be with them is really testing your patience, always find time to breathe and gawan mo ng self-care strategy sarili mo.

"Minsan magkulong ka sa banyo, mag-scrub ka. You do something for yourself.

"You have to recharge yourself if the people at home are testing your patience."

Read more here.

This story originally appeared on Pep.ph.

* Minor edits have been made by the Candymag.com editors.

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Elaine Dela Cruz 15 hours ago

When everything around you suddenly turns dark, the first thing we'd prolly do, as humans, is to find and grab anything that is closest and nearest to us. We'll hold onto them for as long as we can, trying to collect ourselves and gather courage to adjust our eyesights to the pitch black environment that's consuming us minute by minute. And then you'd hear nothing. Your sense of hearing would somehow go off after not seeing anything for quite awhile. You'll let loose. Cry. Panic. You'll be exhausted for fighting your way out. Then just when you're about to stop and give up, you're no longer afraid. There's only this deafening silence and pithole of darkness that's gonna eat you up alive. And surprisingly, you'll make a home out of it.

You'll make a home out of the darkness that when a ray of light suddenly hits you, you'll try to avoid it. You'll try to cover your eyes. You'll try to cover your ears from the voices trying to help you get out of it. You'll try to hide because your mind and body will go against your will to come out and live. Because the darkness that used to scare you, now comforts you in a way you thought has helped you survived life. And you'll try to live. Day by day. In the darkness. Not knowing where to go. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing who is with you. You will try to live until the darkness that once surrounds you is now within you. And everyday, it's gonna be a cycle of subtle torture. But let me tell you a secret. The darkness won't make you whole.

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You'll be broken. And in those hair-like cracks, the light will stubbornly fight its way through until it warms you up. Until you realize to check the switch and turn it on. Until you allow other people to help you find your way back in the light. Until you realize you're ready to live in light again. There's a light at the end of this long and dreading tunnel. The only question that matters: will you let them in?

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