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How Coming From An All-Boys High School Shaped This DLSU Student: 'You’ll learn when to joke around and when to be serious'

There are some things from high school that we'll carry even after we graduate.
IMAGE Courtesy of Benedict Lim

No matter how hard we try to forget about our high school selves, we can’t deny that some parts of who we are right now still have traces of who we were back then. Sure, college will change us, A LOT. But there are some things from high school that we’ll carry even after we graduate.

We talked to Benedict Lim, currently a sophomore taking up BS Applied Corporate Management in De La Salle University – Manila, about his experience coming from an all-boys high school and how it helped shaped his college self.

College is a totally different world, and it might take some getting used to.

Any college student might agree with the fact that college will stun you with culture shock in the beginning. It’s a new world and there are new sets of rules. “One thing I really had to change was my attitude in the classroom,” says Benedict. “I got used to being in an environment where noise, pranks, or relatively inappropriate jokes were all over the place. Eventually, that came to be a problem when I entered senior high in DLSU. Most of the boys in my section came to dislike my attitude during our first semester together, and eventually decided to have a little talk about it. Thankfully, that made me see where I had to improve on, and eventually I got to adjust.”

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Most universities are also co-ed, so there’s the subject of struggling to interact with girls. “I mean, imagine living with guys for a decade. That's pretty much a mess,” Benedict admits. “Personally, I only had academics, sports, or computer games in my mind back then. I didn't really put the possibility of socializing with girls into the equation, you know? So there was this point in life where I was extremely awkward during interactions between my alma mater and all-girls schools, but I'm glad that it didn't prevent me from making good friends along the way.”

You’re wired to be competitive, which can be a good thing, too.

With the yearly honor roll rankings and extra-curricular activities, high school can get cutthroat. But going to school with fellow guys can get next-level competitive. This isn’t always a bad thing, though. That air of competitiveness could be a great source of inspiration to do better in the things you’re passionate about. “Seeing my friends and batchmates excel in the things they did inspired me to do well in my activities and interests,” Benedict says. “I used to be a Boy Scout and played for the football team for a few years. I didn't expect to carry that in college, but I did. During my freshman year I got to take part in leading a religious organization, and now I'm heavily involved in the university's official literature and visual arts publication.

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“Not a moment goes by without the thought of someone being able to one-up whatever I can do. It sucks, to be honest, but I guess what matters is that you keep moving and developing in your own pace.”

You’ll learn when to joke around and when to be serious.

High school is quite the hodgepodge of personalities (just like college!). If you want to survive, you’ll have to learn how to interact with people whose traits are polar opposites. This opened Benedict up to all sorts of friend groups, where he learned that you can be both playful and serious—you just have to know when it’s appropriate. “I'd like to say that studying in an all-boys school (especially one that's Catholic) built a rather flexible kid,” Benedict shares. “I grew up living with the healthy mix of quiet and rowdy boys, and ended up falling somewhere in between: Someone who's grounded when situations call for decency, and able to keep up with the liveliest out there when it comes to playtime.”

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“That formed my strongest suit: Empathy,” he adds. “I understood (to a certain degree) how each of my friends felt, and I was always there to share with their feelings.”

***

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Mylene Mendoza
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Jasmine Gurpido 16 hours ago

LIFE ADVICE YOU NEED TO HEAR WHILE YOURE STILL YOUNG

This blog is dedicated to all teens out there struggling in determining what they really want in their life or if you simply want a glow up. And since were still facing a pandemic, I think this is also a season where everyone is re-thinking about their lives. So, I hope these advices might help you.

Tip #1. TAKE RISK - since most of you are still young, I advice you to take your biggest risk. Whether it may be taking the course you want, a skill you want to acquire or just simply taking the risk to throw away your emotional baggage from your childhood. While you're still young, you have very little to lose. You dont have that much commitments and responsibilities. Because the older you get, the more responsibilities and obligations came. So when they are still not piling up, take the risk! As for me, the biggest risk I took when I was still a teenager is to CUT OFF TOXIC FAMILY TIES.

I may sound rude here but, yeah. I decided to throw away my emotional baggage from my traumatic childhood and cut off some of my family ties and it is completely okay! You dont have to be bothered by whatever they will say. Because at your age, you are already investing on your growth as a person. If you really want to grow, THERE IS NO PERFECT TIME FOR YOU TO TAKE RISK BUT NOW. Because in taking risk you are actually giving yourself a reward of getting something amazing or beyond what you expect you can have. As they say, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Keep in mind that the bigger the risk, the bigger possibility of FAILURE. But that is completely OKAY. Because just like what I said earlier, you are still young. You dont have so much to lose so, dont be afraid to take the risk and then fail. But after failing, learn from it and the more courage you have to take risk the greater the learning, reward or happiness. Ito na nga, how to take risk nga ba? And what are the risk that would actually help me to grow? #

2: VOICE LESSON - dont get me wrong, hindi ito vocalization para sa pagkanta. What I mean is, learn to listen to that VOICE INSIDE YOU. Listen to your heart, to your intuition and to your visions because it will be your GUIDE. Because I realize that as you go along your journey of your life and if you really want to be YOURSELF and be successful in achieving your goals, the only GUIDE that you should follow is your OWN VOICE.

It is okay to take and consider other people's advices but at the end of the day,you should never forget to listen to your own voice. Because that voice is what tells you what you truly want. How would you know that if it is your 'own' voice? Your own voice always comes from your HEART. The voice where YOU and GOD'S voice are one. Because I firmly believe that God knows your heart and that is where he reside. I like journaling because whenever I journal my thought every night and every morning, I feel a dual voice inside my head. Like, it contradicts what the other voice is telling. For example: If we have dreams or goals that puts us so much weight and pressure to the point that it makes you exhausted, STOP. Because it might be a dream or goal of someone else. I believe that your own dreams and goals may be frustrating most of the time, but that frustration has fueling feeling that will always tell you that 'This is the hard way to better so keep going'. Frustration in your own dreams will not make you feel exhausted because achieving a dream itself is a fulfilling feeling.

#3. TAKE ACTION - if you really want something to happen, take action. Dont just sit there and wait things to come your way. Make action or decisions that will take you to where you want to go in your life. Just like what I said in one of my novels that I am writing in wattpad, "There is no such thing as destiny or fate. Because YOU make your OWN life choices." For example, I cannot expect to be a published author if I dont write any novels right? The bottomline here is, if you are not moving forward you are actually moving backward. And it is a sad thing. Life is full of situations where you will be put in the line whether you take courage or just stay where you are. Because GROWING needs consistency in moving forward. So if you dont have to enough courage to take action, your life will always stay the same or worse you will continuously shrink down.

#4. EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS - this means stretching your comfort zone. I watched an anime entitled "Black Clover" there is a captain there where he always tell his subordinates to surpass their limits right, here right now. Going out of our comfort zones are surely scary and uncomfortable. But you have to accept the fact that you cannot stay on the coast forever. You have to change, because the only thing that is constant in this world is change right? Go out of your comfort zones because LIMITS are just in the MIND. There are disabled people who are successful in their own careers. Because the lesson here is, if you hold back there will be no growth. Because GROWTH blooms in DISCOMFORT.

Last, #5. INVEST IN YOURSELF - especially now that you are still young, you should focus on investing on yourself more. Time is your bestfriend at this point of your life. You have so much time to discover things about yourself. I never regret buying and reading books that I never knew will help me later on in dealing life's challenges. You can use that time to read books, gain wisdom, or pick a new skill, improve your talent and learn from your experiences. Keep learning outside your home or your school. Because the real battlefield is OUTSIDE. What you learn in school will only help you in your career but your wisdom and experiences will help you in life or as a person. People who doesnt embrace growth will never succeed in their life. (This is a reflection blog from my 21st birthday last week. I hope you can feature this on your page and I hope it can help others as well. )

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