Here's Why Big Romantic Gestures Aren't Always Fun

A love story shouldn't begin just because the person felt that they had to say yes to it.
by Lynn Lopez   |  Jul 5, 2017
Image: Xian Gaza | instagram.com/xiangaza
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Earlier this week, social media was fawning over the picture of a billboard commissioned by businessman Xian Gaza to ask actress Erich Gonzales out for coffee. He previously ran into her at the Uptown Mall Cinema in January when he was about to watch Assassins' Creed, snapping a picture of the two of them, which he shared on his Instagram. According to his post, the moment he met Erich "left him mesmerized," which was why he decided to have a coffee pun-filled billboard put up in Manila to catch her attention and ask her out for coffee.

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It worked; writer Darla Sauler contacted Erich to ask for her reaction and this is what the actress said, "Hi Darls!!! How are you? Hahaha!!! Ang cute ng effort ni Kuya. (His effort is cute!) It's fine. Let's see when I get back. There's nothing wrong naman if we talk over coffee, pero dapat kasama ka (but you should be with me). Hahaha!!!"

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Xian's billboard caught not only the attention Erich but also of the people, garnering both positive and negative comments. A lot are swooning over what he did to get noticed by the actress, some saying that he raised the bar for asking a woman out, some wishing that someone would do something half as sweet and grand as what he did, and some calling this an incredibly romantic thing to do.

Grand romantic gestures aren't a bad thing at all. They can be sweet and a memory to cherish, especially if you and the other person are in a relationship or some form of understanding together. But these gestures are definitely not for everyone. In fact, they can even make the recipient of such gestures uncomfortable.

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Grand romantic gestures aren't a bad thing at all. They can be sweet and a memory to cherish, especially if you and the other person are in a relationship or some form of understanding together.

For starters, a woman is put on the spot in this case. All eyes will be on how the woman will react and what she'll do. There's going to be pressure on her to notice and acknowledge what the man did for her, and it's not a very easy situation to be in. The woman has her own feelings and choices to consider after all.

Then there's also the pressure to say yes. People like the beginnings of a love story as much as they love happy endings, which is why everyone would be rooting for the woman to reciprocate the man's feelings or gesture. If the woman turns the guy down, she often ends up being the villain.

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If the woman turns the guy down, she often ends up being the villain.

The man is seen as having made a huge effort just to make his feelings known. So if a woman ends up rejecting him, people would be aghast and think that she was being cruel or that she should at least give him a chance. People also assume that women dream of having a huge romantic moment like this or that they long for men to publicly declare their love and affection, which is why it would come as a huge surprise if the woman ends up saying no.

The judgment on a woman in this situation tends to be pretty harsh. One can already imagine that Erich would be the target of many hurtful comments if she decides to say no. People would say that the man made a huge effort, and to say no to him wouldn't be nice.

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One comment says that she is "mean" if she turns him down. But such comments don't take into consideration what the woman herself might be feeling about the situation and what she really wants to do.

Again, we're not knocking romantic gestures. But they should be done in a way that doesn't put the other person in an awkward position, open them up to possible criticism from other people (and strangers, at that), or place expectations on them to respond a certain way.

A love story shouldn't begin just because the person felt that they had to say yes to it.

A love story shouldn't begin just because the person felt that they had to say yes to it.

What did you think of Xian Gaza's gesture, Candy Girls? Sound off in the comments!

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