Here's How You Can Deal with Barkada Drama
Not every day is sunny. Most days, it's a strenuous battle to just keep your smile up and running. We get stressed from all the work we have to do and sometimes, your friends just add to the pressure.
Why do fights happen? There are times when things just get so piled up and you feel all the weight and entire burden on you. Sometimes you can't help but explode and take it all out on the people closest to you. We all have those days–most relationships have to go through that. But the scary thing is, will these arguments be the deciding point on whether you and your group will still be best friends forever?
It's easy to go with the flow, to let out all your anger, and take it out on your friends. It's easy to rant, to say an inappropriate word or two; it's easy to give in to what you feel. But place yourself in the shoes of those whom you're taking out all your frustrations on. It may seem fair to you, but to them, your words could strike a knife through their heart. It isn't easy to get over painful words, much more if they come from someone special.
Before you say anything, take a deep breath first. Think about what you're going to say and choose your words carefully. Most scars happen when we don't think about what we're going to say and it usually ends up hurting your friends and damaging your relationship with one another. Another thing you have to remember is to never bring up anything that your friend trusted you with. Sure, it may seem like a good idea to shut that person up but imagine the emotional scar that it you can possibly end up giving your friend. How will that person learn to trust you, or anyone else, that much ever again?
Be patient. Listen to what your friends have to say and take it in; don't just let it pass by your ears. Even though we think we know everything that goes on in each of our friends' lives, there are still some things that they keep hidden from us. There may be problems that we don't know of, experiences that they've kept within themselves, and traumas that they don't have the heart to speak of. Fights happen when we assume immediately, when we think we know everything but in truth, we usually don't.
When your friend in the barkada is the one being a bit grouchy, calm your friend down. Most times, hugs are all what one person needs. The best thing you could do is to just let that person feel that you are there for him or her. They don't need another person telling them what to do or what to feel, they need someone they can lean on when the burden gets too heavy.
Always remember to think through what you will do first before you initiate. Don't do anything rash or impulsive. You guys are a barkada, a team. You will always have to talk things through before you do anything that involves one another.
Fights and arguments aren't something your barkada should be afraid of. When you and your friends overcome your problem, that's when you know your relationship is much stronger, you're sure that whatever tide comes, you guys will overcome it. Because what is one petty fight over a friendship you've built for years? It will deepen your trust with one another, often exposing experiences your friends have never shared with you, ever.
Friends come and go, but the true ones stay. Although barkada drama may seem harsh and tumultuous, it's part of every relationship that you will encounter. Fights are supposed to happen because that's what strengthens your bond with one another even more.
In the end, you may be even thankful that fights and problems between you and your friends happen. Once you've resolved all your frustrations and troubles, it lets a load off your shoulders. The best thing about resolving your issues is that at the end of the day, you guys are still together. And in this world where everything is changing, isn't it amazing that you found a group of people whom you know you can always rely on; a group of friends whom you can turn to when everything seems like it's all crumbling apart? If I were you, I would be beyond thankful to have found friends I know will stay by my side through thick and thin.
Got friendship struggles you want us to help you with? Let us know in the comments or via Twitter@candymagdotcom. We always love hearing from you!