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People Used To Make Fun Of Me For Being Fat, Here’s What I Learned

There is more to you than the numbers on that weighing scale.
IMAGE INSTAGRAM/MUDDYCRUISE

Nowadays, whenever you scroll through your Facebook and Instagram feeds, it isn’t such an uncommon occurence anymore to see a thicker, plus-size person post about their recent trip to the beach, adventure, or outfit from last night without having to "cover up." Thanks to the role models of body positivity like Ashley Graham, Iskra, Lizzo, and all the other celebrities who champion body love, we now live in a society that’s slightly more accepting. One that almost always celebrates inclusivity and diversity. 

This is definitely something to celebrate because this hasn’t always been the case. And as I would always put it: we’ve come a long way, but there’s still a lot that could be done. Because while putting the hashtags #BodyPositivity, #BeautyBeyondSize, and anything to that effect makes it clear that you are loud and proud about who you are, it’s not always the same case in the real world. 

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Growing up fat wasn’t a walk in the park. I could still remember clearly how I was made fun of for not having a prominent neck. How, even as early as six or seven years old, I was always told I had to lose weight. Occasionally, my size became the butt of the jokes when there was seemingly nothing better to talk about. Beach trips gave me anxiety because it’s an unspoken rule that I had to be fully covered so as not to cause lingering stares or snide remarks from bystanders. High school was especially tough because there was so much pressure to look a certain way. Not to mention, there was no way the cute guys would ever want to go out or be seen with the fat girl. 

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But this is not a sob story. I’m here to tell you that contrary to what you’ve been made to believe, there is more to you than the numbers on that weighing scale. That fat is merely an adjectiveyou are not, in any way, required to allow a single word be your end-all, be-all. Allow me to share four things growing up fat taught me: 

You can’t keep pressing the pause button on your life. 

Skinny or fat, being unhappy or insecure about your body shouldn’t be an excuse not to do the things you really want to do. You can’t and shouldn’t be postponing plans hoping that in the next couple of months, you’ll be more satisfied with how your body looks. You deserve to be happy nowregardless of what your body looks like. Life is too short to be putting a pin on things just because you’re scared of how you’re going to look or what other people are going to say.

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Anyone who doesn’t accept you, doesn’t deserve you.

Anyone who constantly makes fun of you, makes you feel like you should be pressured into being something elsedoesn’t deserve you. Enough said. And you're allowed to say goodbye to these people. That said... 

Don’t let you bully yourself. 

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Hearing people talk about you in a not-so-nice way is one thing. But allowing your mind to bully your bodythat’s even worse. If it’s not something you would say to a friend or someone you care about, don’t say it to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the precedent to how other people would treat you. 

Changing your body because you hate it won’t make you happier. 

At one point, you’ll be made to believe that by looking different, your life will be so much better. But it’s not going to be, until you choose to give yourself a chance. Loving your body for what it is will take you so much farther than hatred ever will. The first step to taking good care of yourself is accepting where you are. Self-love is a long, and sometimes, messy process and it’s never fully finished because it's a life-long journey to loving yourself. But it’s worth enduring because YOU are worth it. 

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Maddie Cruz
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I don't know. by Mariella Ysabel Amatus

I don’t know what to do. I feel lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel alone. I don’t know what to do. I feel abandoned. Dreams are things we ought to have. Without them, we might never know where will our future take us. We seem to be trained to have them. I want to be a nurse. I want to be a doctor. I want to be an engineer. I want to be a lawyer. Those are the lines children tell in front of people. It seems simple to dream. To have an ambition. Well, I thought it is. But, now, as I put a book on my lap, thinking about where my fate will lead me, it isn’t.

I feel drowned in the responsibility of knowing what I wanted. The season of college entrance tests are coming. Yet, I feel nothing but doubtful. I studied, but now, I am not doing such a thing. I felt so engrossed the last time I checked myself months ago. Now, I am unsure of what I want to do. I have to study. Yes, I know. However, I feel so dismissive to do something. I can’t even point out what’s the problem in me.

What am I doing? I must go, open some books, and study hard. But, I am never doing it in this present moment. Instead of challenging myself with tons of knowledge, I am here writing this passage with my mind resonating with unspoken words and truth. I seem insane, right? What will happen to me if I keep on doing nothing? Well, simple. I will never be successful - I know that. Then, what must I do?

Asking myself such a question will never suffice what I really need. Because, I’ve been asking myself questions all the time. Yet, I’ve never come up with answers. I don’t know what to do. I feel like being pained. I don’t know what to do. I feel like being tortured. I don’t know what to do. I feel like being misunderstood. I don’t know what to do. I don't know.

A Stranger "Things"

strangers can be not strangers, they can be someone else

Isn't it intimidating to interact with strangers? Majority will say "yes" certainly. No doubt, parents also come up with their very classic "Don't talk to strangers" smart advice for their children. But come to realize to take the opposite approach of it as we grow older, there's a tangled idea in our head it it is beneficial or not.

Finding comfort to someone we don't know is like finding a needle in the bunch of hay. A blurry-blurry thing, a no-percent no-possibility to happen. But not to compare, for others it's like their way of finding comfort, way to socialize, way to widen their circle of acquaintance, that's why psychologist somewhat agree with it. If the person didn't give you a ghastly vibe, why not give it a try to interact. It's kinda weird thing to open doors for strangers,but at the same time, its interesting. Think of this, why its easy for others to share secretes of them, or to have pretty intimate conversation to random person? Cause they say, "No judgement".

Why its okay to ask help to person we dont know if we are in unfamiliar place? Cause they can help us, and same goes in other way. Bottomline, Strangers are not just strangers or a person we dont know, or a person that our parents taught us not to talk to. They can be someone else who can help us in times of unfamiliarity of places or thing. They can be the person who sit next to you in the bus who ask for a little help for direction and end up having a great conversation.

They can be a lot more we didn't expect to, and you can tell by yourself that your best of friends you have today are once a complete stranger to you yet you end up having a strong bond of friendship. They are the person we completely don't know, we dont know their upbringings or what, but sometimes the can be more helpful to us than the others we know. By simply having a casual conversation with them, we're not noticing that they are giving us a diffirent approach to different aspects in life and unfortunately, this idea overpowers by just word "stranger". Hopefully, maybe now or then, we're very thankfull that we took the opposite approach of "do not talk to strangers"

marj carbonel 4 hours ago
Nyla David 4 hours ago

Hi Candy! I saw a repost of your IG story from one of my good friends who happens to be your candy rookie, Margaux Nonato, about students who started their business this quarantine season. I wanted to submit my own story as well but didn’t have the guts to do so, until I read the stories of some students who happen to share the same experience as mine!

Telling my own story might be a little overdue, now that you’ve already published the article but I wanted to give this a try still if it means inspiring other people as well. I am an incoming third year medical student from De La Salle Medical and Health Sciences Institute and I have also decided to do something productive (aside from studying my backlogs of course) and something unique that may help me to challenge myself into exploring new things aside from human anatomy, pathology, and all those medical greatness.

Kudos to everyone who decided to start their online businesses! I must say it isn’t easy at all so we all deserve a round of applause for doing great and getting this far! I’ve always been a fan of baking since I was a kid. I remember making my own chocolate chip cookies when I was in second year high school and back then, I only baked with a microwave (since our oven was whack) and used choco choco as the chocolate in my cookies ???? they are not as bad as they seem! Trust me!

Since then I’ve always dreamed of finding the perfect recipe. I took Biochemistry in college and went straight to studying Medicine so my plan in finding the perfect recipe was always postponed since studying for my future patients will always be my number one priority. (Naks) Then Coronavirus happened. I just finished my last semester for 2nd year Med last June and I’ve decided to finally come up with the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe, then tried selling them for extra allowance to help in our expenses. In addition to my chocolate chip cookie recipe, I’ve also managed to bake chocolate crinkles and different varieties of brownies! Who would’ve thought that a super busy medical student would have the chance to bake and create her own online business as well? (While in Med School!!!)

So then I started my online business, named “Harina Manila”.You can also find it on instagram and facebook @harina.manila!! I like to call my baked goods “paboridough” because the ones that I bake are indeed my favorites and I‘d like to share it with everyone. Kaya sa mga broken hearted jan, dibale nang hindi ka niya pinili, sa Harina Manila, ikaw ang aming paboridough ???? (hahaha corny!) From deciding what to name your business, to buying ingredients almost every week, and finding the right packaging that fits your style, starting your own online business really takes time and dedication! But as they say, kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga!

This goes not only to medical students like me, but to all students who are struggling to keep themselves sane this quarantine season. Amidst the pandemic that we are facing right now, I hope that we may not forget to take good care of ourselves both physically and mentally. May we find the courage to remain optimistic and try new things that could help us grow and become better. Sharing with you my story this quarantine season, I hope I may be able to inspire other people into believing that they too, can do something amazing, heck there’s no limit to what we can all achieve! As long as we work hard for it, malayo ang mararating natin! I thank you, Candy Mag, for spreading good vibes and inspiration to everyone by publishing good stories! To all the lovely readers who took their time to read Candy’s article, if this ever gets published, I hope you remind yourselves today that you are capable of doing amazing things and that there is no limit to what you can achieve. Fighting! Dont forget to visit, like, and follow my page on Facebook and Instagram, Harina Manila (@harina.manila) and try out some of our baked goods! We got you covered, my paboridough! Thank you! ??

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