Girl Code: I Knew You Were Trouble

ART Trixie Ison
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I hear a shuffling of steps in ate Sam’s room, and I see a pink piece of paper slipped under my door. A sudden wave of nostalgia hits. We used to do this all the time when we were kids. I crouch to pick it up, and I realize it’s still the same stationery she used years ago. I smile and unfold the note.

Hey Rae, Had dinner alone lol. Again. Why are you still locked in your room? Anyway… haven’t told you, but Ben and I broke up. It’s been three weeks, and I think it’s really over. I think me being in a relationship over the past three years really took me away from family… Maybe we can go out sometime and look for cute boys! Not sure how you are after the whole James thing. He was at the party. Did you have fun there? Anyway. Show yourself some time. Sam


Surprisingly, Rae actually replies. Just like the old times.

Hey, Ate.  I’m really sorry to hear about you and Ben... I thought you two would make up eventually (like you always do). But I guess it’s really over this time. Wish I could tell you it gets better eventually, but then I’d be lying cause, as you’ve noticed, I’m still MIA from the real world. Hahaha :-(  The party was okay. Got my mind off of James for a bit, until he talked to me.  But that’s for another story. Wanna come over to my room? I’ve got ice cream and The Notebook. Maybe we can be mopey losers together.  Rae


Before I can reply, another note is slipped under my door.

I gotta say, though: I hate that you’ve been ignoring me. I swear there were times I wanted to throw your phone across the room just to get your attention. But I can’t even be mad right now cause I really do miss you. Ugh, this is so cheesy. Just come over. See ya in 5 seconds? Haha.

I am about to turn the knob when my phone starts ringing. Oh crap. My boss is calling.


I wait for my sister to barge into my room (she never did learn to knock), but minutes and eventually hours pass. Nothing. I'm about to turn off the lights and call it a night when I notice the note near my door.

Rae,  Sorry. I can’t right now... Caught up in work. Work sucks. Enjoy high school while you can. Let’s not be mopey sisters, that’s so not cute hahaha. We just gotta take the world as it is and make the most of it. And Ben... Well, I knew you never liked him ;) he’s a great guy. But I don’t even really understand what happened. Age I guess. And change. It’s okay. Life goes on. Glad we’re okay. I was starting to worry about you.  Sam

watch now

I stand for a few seconds with the note in my hands. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? I mean, moping's "so not cute," as my sister had so nicely put it. But I can't lie, I really thought she'd be there during the ONE time I chose to open up. Why did I even expect any more from her?


Friday  FINALLY!  Now that I don't have training, I finally have time to go on vacation with my family! I’m literally overjoyed, and I actually cried when my mom told us we were going to Boracay! One would think that because I sweat a lot, I’d love a change in the weather and enjoy the breeze of colder countries. Well, they’re all wrong! Hehe. I love the sun, I love the sand, I love swimming in natural water, and I can’t wait to enjoy the serene sunset—Boracay has the absolute best one in the world. I really just can’t wait.  Sunday  Waking up at 4 AM definitely wasn’t a problem, knowing that I’d end up in a sunny paradise. I didn’t mind that I didn’t get to eat until lunch. I was quite alright with the fact that I ended up being the one in charge of checking our bags in. The only thing I couldn’t stand: my parents’ constant bickering from 4 AM to present time.  This doesn’t usually happen. They’ve always gotten along well—or maybe I just don’t notice it, because I’m never home; and when I am home, I’m either sleeping, studying, or talking to my friends. Either way, they’re adults! But I guess, and hope, that this ends today. I just want to enjoy the Boracay sunset in peace.

Tuesday  Update: It didn’t end last Sunday—the fighting. I can’t take it anymore. I ended up crying yesterday after parasailing. Along with the mid-air floating feeling, their continuous quarreling made me want to puke as well. Why are they like this?! What is happening? Thank God we’re in separate rooms. I couldn’t stop crying when I got to bed. I didn’t even watch the sunset yesterday and today.  Wednesday  Tomorrow is our family’s last day in “paradise.” This was definitely the worst trip. It became even more embarrassing when my mom asked me why my eyes were puffy this morning. She should know. My dad should, too. I hope they realize it, but I know they won’t. I’m too afraid to tell them to stop fighting... I’m too frightened to tell them that they’re destroying my bliss.  This place? Definitely a paradise that words can’t completely encapsulate. The memory? Tainted with the worst kind of pain.



No. No. No. This isn't happening.

Lock door three, eight times. Breathe. Respira, Lessandra, respira, as my grandmother used to say.

Here. Paper always helps, right? Right. Write.

Why You Should Never Fall in Love with Seb:      You are a nervous, pitiful, goddamn mess around him. Your hands sweat. You watch your words. You’re even more careful than you already are.     He’s good with words—way too good—for your own good.     Clearly he has unresolved issues with an ex, and it’s careless to get caught in the crossfire of two broken hearts.      You met the dude in a bar. A bar. What happened to standards? (Like you’re any better; you were there, too.)     None of your friends think this is a fruitful idea (except Sam, who says no to almost nothing and no one). Wanting to quit your job? Running around with some guy? Who are you? Where’s the real Lissa?     You have next to nothing in common. There is next to nothing to talk about.     But his voice is the right kind of deep, like warm soup that you feel the moment it slides down your throat. But his eyes are lovely to look into, brown like everyone else’s but fiercely gray by the edges if you look closely enough. So much soul, it scares you. But when he smiles,your heart somersaults. But when he looks up at you from the open hood of his car, bare arms and hands stained black, you forget your name. But when he says you’re beautiful, ever so nonchalantly, a lazy hand swept through your hair, you freeze up, feeling stupidly beautiful. Yeah, that’s the perfect way to put it. Stupidly beautiful.     And last night, when you shared your second kiss, he pulled away to catch his breath, and you felt yours being taken away.

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About the author
Niña Alvia
Girl Code author
Eighteen-year-old Niña was never a Team Captain, nor was she a part of any National Team (spoiler alert!), but her world revolves around sports. Now she lives vicariously through the character of Charlie, tackling issues such as teenage angst and struggling with change. Niña is a Sport Studies major in UP Diliman, and may look familiar to UAAP fans as this season's Courtside Reporter for UP. Aside from writing quick reports about the UAAP games, she blogs about her personal musings along with her sartorial attempts on Her favorite writers are Margaret Zhang, a blogger, and J.K. Rowling.
About the author
Joanna Kennedy
Girl Code author
As a former member of the Candy Council of Cool, Joanna is no stranger to writing for Candy Magazine. Inspired by fleeting expressions, old photographs, song lyrics, and illustrations, she started writing on a private blog at the age of 14. While it started off as a hobby, the daily practice of writing short fiction turned into a full-blown passion. Aside from writing, she owns a bar named Walrus, works in events, and is a travel junkie! Frequently found soaking up the Philippines' beaches, her next travel dream is to hike in the Himalayas and backpack across Mongolia on horseback.
About the author
Chandra Pepino
Girl Code author
Chandra is 20 years old, a graduate of Ateneo de Manila University, and a writer for Candy Magazine and Real Living online. She writes to heal herself, not from pain, but from curiosity—the world is mad and cold, but writing warms her soul. You will find her nose buried in the works of Chuck Palahniuk and Haruki Murakami, but in real life, her loved ones are her muses. Lissa is, in a lot of ways, Chandra’s twin, and yet her polar opposite: she is impulsive, introverted, and very, very hard on herself. But Lissa is also loyal to her friends, and when she finally falls in love, you’ll find that she falls hard and fast. If you ever see Chandra in person, say hello. She'd love to have coffee with you. Conversations are her favorite.
About the author
Gaby Flores
Girl Code author
When she's not taking three-hour naps, watching makeup vlogs, or drowning in microscope slides of 48-hour chick embryos, Gaby spends her downtime with her jammies on and her nose in a book. As a self-confessed bibliophile, reading has always been her first love, and it's been that way for as long as she can remember. It started as an addiction to Dr. Seuss' Bartholomew and the Oobleck when she was barely three years old, and it has grown into a fervent love for the written word. In fact, it's from her favorite book, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro, that she gets the inspiration to write about someone so radically different from her: Rae. Writing each chapter as the soft-spoken, sensitive Rae is a challenge for someone as effervescent as Gaby, but she takes it the way she does an impossible Embryology exam: with a prayer, a lot of verve, and the excitement of venturing into the unknown.
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