"I Keep Getting Ghosted, May Kulang Ba Sa Akin?"
We’ve all probably heard it at least once or twice?—dating, in this day and age, has become ten times more difficult. Some people just wanna have fun, others have commitment issues, and everyone else doesn’t really have dating as one of their top priorities.
Hence, if you’re the type to actively dip your toes into the confusing realm of the dating scene, take this as a heads up that it probably won’t be easy. And if you already have, we won’t be surprised if you have a ghosting story—or two—to share.
You meet this person. You click. Things go relatively well. Then one day, boom. They just disappear into thin air. It kicks in, you realize you’ve been ghosted.
What is ghosting, exactly?
Put simply, ghosting is the term used to when someone puts a stop to all forms of communication without warning or justification. Additionally, it includes blatantly ignoring all attempts to reconnect or reach out by the other party. Yikes.
It happens once, it’s kind of okay (but not really). It happens twice—maybe you’re looking in the wrong places. Anything more than that, you start to ask, “Is there anything wrong with me?”
It sucks. It hurts and to an extent, it makes the thought of putting yourself out there even scarier. But unless you’ve been waving red flags yourself (i.e. blasting their phones with unnecessary messages 20 times a day, causing a big fight out of an unintentionally unreplied to message—you kinda get where we’re headed with this), then no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
The thing is, relationships and the stage that comes right before that are so tricky not only because of the feelings you get from it but also because it has to be a two-way street. Hence, about half of the outcome is completely out of your hands. It could mean that the other person just wasn’t looking for the same things as you are or that life simply happened. Just always keep in mind that not everybody has the same heart as you and when people shy away from things that are too overwhelming for them, it’s usually never really about you.
There is no concrete, fixed or fool-proof formula to dating. Perhaps, the only thing both you and I can hold constant is that if it leaves you questioning—it’s not for you. It sounds easier said than done but we’re all still so young and when you’re young, it’s a little harder to find love, be in love, or stay in love. Just think of it as dodging a bullet or saving yourself from a much bigger heartbreak.
Moving forward, what matters is that you keep the lessons you’ve learned close to your heart. Manage your expectations out of people you meet, always take everything with a grain of salt and at the end of the day: there is absolutely nothing wrong with guarding your heart.