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From Our Readers: You Will Break My Heart

And I'll be fine with that.

One day, probably in the not so distant future, you will break my heart.

I knew from the start what I was getting myself into. You were clear and you were fair, and for that I am grateful. But I couldn't, for the life of me, resist. And so with shoulders squared and expectations managed, I went straight ahead into the vast gray area of you and me. I continued to shower you with affection and make myself vulnerable to you. I gave you hugs and felt my knees go weak every time you squeezed me hard. I basked in your attention and my heart fluttered each time you openly expressed claim over me. I held out my hand for you to hold and smiled when you don't let go. I marveled at how easy the conversation flows when we're together, like how we can go from nonsense banter to serious life plans and personal issues. I like how you spontaneously put your arm around me when I'm close, how it's become a habit, unconscious and understood, never needing permission or explanation.

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One day, in the not so distant future, you will break my heart. We'll probably stop talking and hanging out. There'll be no more banter between us, only distance. Things will be awkward and we'll both avoid places where we might see each other. When invited by a common friend, I'll make a habit of asking first who else is coming before saying yes; and to give me space, you'll make up some excuse not to go when you find out I'm coming.

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 like how you spontaneously put your arm around me when I'm close, how it's become a habit, unconscious and understood, never needing permission or explanation.

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People who know how close we are will notice and ask why. When they do find out, they'll probably think you're a jerk for leading me on and breaking my heart. And they'll feel sorry for me because I should have known better than fall for you. I hope you know I'll never blame you for choosing happiness. Like I said, I knew what I was getting myself into. I wasn't a pawn in the game, I was a player too.

I wanted to write this as a metaphor to fictionalize our ending to save face but I couldn't. There's no hiding the simple truth that in the end, you'll choose someone else over me. I don't know if or how we'll patch things up but I have no regrets and I hope you have none too. It was a great run and I enjoyed every part of it.

So yeah, one day you will break my heart. And I'll be fine with that.

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Sent in by Aya Fernandez. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!

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To the Person Who Does Not Know Any 1D Song

By: CJ Reyno

Never in my wildest dream I imagined to meet someone who does not know a single One Direction song or who does not even know, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, and err… Zayn Malik. How did you spend your teenagehood without listening to their songs? The disrespect to my #StyPayHorLikSon. My initial reaction, Vas Happenin’?

Since I was 12 years old, that was way back on 2012, One Direction songs have been my official life soundtrip, my go-to songs whenever I feel happy, sad, mad, excited, and etch. I can still remember how people went crazy just to attend their concert here in the Philippines. I must admit, I was one of those. LOL. The group was also dubbed as, “The Biggest Boyband in the World”. They were an era. You really left me in awe when you told me that you do not know a single One Direction song. Their songs are gold. But I was a little hopeful when a new messaged popped up on our conversation, “Hey I know one, Make You Beautiful”.

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You do not know how my world collapsed after reading your message. I would like to say that I appreciate the effort, thanks, but they do not have a song entitled, Make You Beautiful, because it is, What Makes You Beautiful. I tried to explain but you said that they are just the same. (Tip: Never fight with a Directioner when it comes to this because we will not let our guards down). No! They are not the same. How can you make this big mistake? LOL. What Makes You Beautiful is One Direction’s debut song. Almost everyone knows this, “you’re insecure, don’t know what for,” ring a bell? The music video of this surpassed 1 billion views on Youtube. On my 21 years of existence, you are the very first person who told me this “I-Thought-It-Was-A-Joke-But-You-Are-Serious” statement.

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As a persuasive fangirl, I thought to myself that I should make you appreciate their music, that you should know that it is What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. The group may be in hiatus but their music is and will always remain superior. You are hard-headed lad. We even when to the point where you challenged me to treat so I can make you watch their music video. Am I even surprised that I agreed to this? HAHA. I feel like an agent trying to persuade her customer to buy a property on our company. You do not know how happy I was when you sent me your video listening to What Makes You Beautiful. I felt like I successfully closed a deal with my client. Not to exaggerate but I really jumped because of happiness after watching your video. It was the first message I checked that morning. Thank you for your effort, so much appreciated. Funny how our conversation starts with your innocence on One Direction until it goes deeper and last longer. Up All Nigh conversations which turned to almost Midnight Memories. Ironic how a Directioner had developed an admiration on someone who dislikes her favorite boys? Just like One Direction’s song, Change My Mind, “Never felt like this before. Are we friends or are we more?” I guess, like Liam’s line on Love You Goodbye, “It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end. It's impossible to know if after this we can still be friends.”

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I was happy that I made you listen to One Direction. At least I made you appreciate and made you aware that there is a song called, What Makes You Beautiful, not Make You Beautiful. I am happy that you already found your Girl Almighty. Wish me luck on finding my Summer Love. xoxo, Your Directioner friend

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